Fractured
by ajoy3
Summary: After calling Inuyasha to her side, Kikyo fears that he will run back to Kagome. To avoid this, she alters his memories, removing any trace of her- or so she thinks. How can Inuyasha piece these fractured memories together, and more importantly, how can he win Kagome back once he does?
1. Chapter 1

A/N:: Hey everyone! So I'm very excited about this fic- the idea actually came from another one of mine that I was working on 'to find a way back' when the idea for this took over. At first I was going to transform it and morph it into this fic, but I was worried that it might cause confusion.

So, here we are!

This fic jumps right in, assuming you know the juicy details of their relationship. But don't worry, its going to work its way back, in what I hope, will be a really sweet, angsty story.

This fic is rated M for a reason, so readers with sensitive imaginations, you've been warned!

And as always, reviews are welcome!

Inuyasha squeezed his eyes shut. He could feel the sun beating down on him, the warm rays making him break a sweat.

Or so he assumed. Was he sick? What time was it? It wasn't like him to be asleep during the day.

Reluctantly, he tried to sit up. His clawed hands instantly flew to his head. His body was shaking; his thoughts were spinning.

What was going on? Where the Hell was he?

"You've awoken, Inuyasha?" The voice cut through his pounding headache.

"K-Kikyou?" He asked, cracking an eye open.

They were in the woods, and from what he could tell, they were nowhere near her village. He squinted, trying to determine their location from his surroundings.

How did he get here? Why would he be asleep… with Kikyo nearby? He… he couldn't remember!

"Kikyo…" He started, the pitch of his voice hurting his own ears. "…Whats going on?"

"Tell me, what is the last thing you remember?" she asked, her voice cold and sterile.

He tried to focus. He sifted through his memories, a hazy feeling setting over him.

"I- I think the last thing I remember is-" He looked around. That couldn't be right. "We were at the docks." He blushed slightly.

They had embraced. He had never been bold enough to presume he could lay a hand on her, not one out of kindness anyway. It was beyond his wildest ambitions that he could have held her intimately.

She had stumbled, and out of reflex he had gone to catch her. Kikyo had looked up at him, shy and grateful… and then she wrapped her arms around him, even rested her head against his chest.

He had been so happy he thought his heart would explode.

The last person to treat him without disgust, hell, the last person to hold him, had been his mother. He felt small and anxious, nervous and excited in her embrace.

He knew then that it was the right choice. He would use the jewel to become human, just like she suggested.

If it meant that he could hold her again, he would sell his soul. He wouldn't have to be alone anymore.

But that couldn't be the last thing that happened. They were nowhere near the water. And she-

The hanyou focused his attention on the Miko.

She was-

She was dead.

"K-Ki-Kikyo…." He stumbled on his words. "Wh-What happened?" He breathed out, his words rushed in concern. He stood to his feet, unsteadily making his way towards her. "Why do you smell-"

"Deceased?" She asked bluntly.

"Whats wrong with me? Did the wish go wrong?" He asked worriedly. "Somethings not right." He looked around panicked.

"You are correct, Inuyasha. You are missing a gap of time, but that may be because of the blast. You hit your head."

"My head? Blast? Kikyo, please… explain whats going on? Why do you smell like grave soil?"

She let out a deep sigh.

"Please, sit Inuyasha. I will fill in the holes for you."

He nodded, his eyes wide. He was trying his hardest not to breathe through his nose.

"You and I decided to use the Shikon, to turn you into a human, do you remember that?" She looked at him, observing his reactions. He nodded in affirmation.

"Good. It is quite a complicated story, so I will try to simplify it for you, considering your state. There was a thief that was badly burned, whom I nursed for a period of time. He was in love with me-"

Panic struck the hanyou. Fell in love? With Kikyo? There was a rival for her?

"Yet he also lusted for the jewel. He merged with multiple demons, to gain power. He tried to gain the jewel, and in battle… I was killed."

"Killed…"

So it was true. She was… dead…

"But how-"

"I was brought back by fate, Inuyasha. Our fate. It is our duty to stop the demon that stole the jewel and took my natural life- Naraku. In the battle, the jewel was shattered. We have been piecing it together, you and I."

"This is-"

"It is a lot to handle, we recently fought a demon who had a shard and the resulting blast rendered you unconscious. I believe that caused you to lose bits of your memory."

He looked around him, trying to concentrate. So much had happened. So much that he couldn't remember. Nothing made sense.

But he was here. And he was with Kikyo. He had apparently died… and was somehow brought back to him. It seemed impossible. But he trusted her. Why would she lie?

"My head is killing me." He complained.

"You should rest. I have set a barrier, and you are quite safe."

"I don't like to sleep. Especially during the day." He grunted.

"Do as you please then." She shrugged, sitting next to him.

The hanyou leaned his head against the trunk of the tree, closing his eyes. His ears were trained on the surroundings, but the light felt like daggers.

He felt a nagging in the back of his mind. It was faint and fleeting.

It hurt.

" _Inuyasha, you NEED to rest! How can you expect to-"_

"Ugh, I don't want to." He complained reflexively.

"Did you say something, Inuyasha?"

His mind felt like a fog was over it. Whatever inner voice that was, it pulled at him.

Painfully.

"No…" He breathed out, shaking his head.

That must have been some Hell of a blast.

~.~

"Do you want to stop back at the village, Kagome?" Sango asked, a sad smile on her face. "We don't mind waiting a few extra days if you want to go back to your home."

Kagome readjusted her bag over her shoulders. In the past few months, she had learned the weight of her modern essentials.

Sure, she had carried the bag on her own. But whenever it started to strain her, even slightly, it was taken from her by the hanyou, as he effortlessly slung it over his shoulder with one hand.

But he was gone. He had been for months.

She tried her best to smile back at the slayer. She was so considerate.

Everyone had been, really. Since the day he left, everyone had been so supportive.

Sango hugged her, telling her she understood if she needed to leave, to go back home for good. Shippo cried. Miroku offered kind words.

In the end, she refused them. The fight with Naraku was just as much hers as it was everyone elses. Just because Inuyasha decided to leave them, didn't mean she would abandon her friends. She could sense the shards, and she would continue to do her job, so long as they would have her.

They had been so thankful, so relieved. They truly had become a family in the years they spent together.

Kagome tried her best to smile brightly.

"Nah, Im fine Sango. Ever since I graduated high school theres really no reason for me to go back as much as I used to, aside from restocking supplies or checking in with Mama."

"Too bad Inuyasha is such an idiot. He wouldn't believe she said that about-"

The fox demon was effectively thumped on the head with Mirokus staff.

"Really guys, I don't know how many times I have to say it." She walked over to Shippo to rub his head. "Im okay. Its okay to talk about him. It wasn't just me he left… it was all of us."

"While that is true Kagome, we are not such fools to know that our relationships are different from what yours was with Inuyasha." The monk said kindly.

"Even still," she said releasing a sigh, "we all loved him. It hurt all of us. Pain is pain, right? I'd rather not avoid talking about him. Im doing much better than I was- really."

"Kagome…" Sango softened her eyes sympathetically.

"He did what he had to. We all knew Kikyo would come for him one day. Im just… Im just thankful she didn't bring him to Hell." She gave a small laugh. "Besides, its not like she dragged him anywhere. He went of his own free will." She tried to steel her voice. "He made his choice."

"Oh Kagome. If we ever come across him, Im going to-"

"If its for my sake, don't." Kagome cut off the slayers violent thoughts. "If we ever run into him… I hope at that time I can wish him the best… and see him happy." She said biting her lower lip, trying to blink back the tears. "If you have something to say to him, of your own feelings, that's different. Don't hold a grudge against him for me. He has been hated enough in his life." She finished gently.

"You're too good, Lady Kagome." Miroku said with a sigh. "I do not know of anyone else who would look at the situation in such a way."

"Yeah, seriously. If it were me, I'd sit him so hard beads would break." Shippo said, crossing his arms.

The fox demon had been badly hurt by Inuyashas departure. For all the fighting they did, the kit had loved him.

"Well, Ive had a few months to think it over. If the feudal era has taught me anything, its tht violence shouldn't be the first response."

"Well said." Miroku nodded in agreement.

"Anyway, I don't need to go back, were good on supplies, and we still have day light ahead of us. Lets go as far as we can, eh?" She asked the group.

Walking at a slower pace then they ever had with the hanyou in tow, the slayer, monk, fox and cat demon made their way, following the rumor of a shard, a strong, heartbroken miko leading them with a planted smile.

~.~

Kikyo smiled to herself. Things were finally going just as she wanted.

It was months ago that she had called Inuyasha too her.

She had found a village, small like the one she had grown up in, with a handful of laughing children, and a kind headsman.

For the first time, she had wanted to stay.

They had been in need of a Miko, and she had been in need of companionship.

When she was alive, she was used to solitude- or so she had thought. She would spend many hours alone, having no one that she could rely on to tell her trouble to.

But she had not realized what an impact the community had played in her life. The children would surround her, take walks and gather herbs. The villagers would stop to chat pleasantries, the elderly would bow to her, the woman would thank her.

She had not realized it, but she was not quite as alone as she had thought.

When she was brought back, recalled from the grave- that was when she had understood true solitude.

She would float from place to place, but sooner or later she would be uncovered.

A nosy villager, a lovers tryst in the woods, a sneaky child, it varied. Sooner or later someone would see her calling to her beasts, surviving on the soul of dead women.

And as expected, she would be chased out.

This village had been special.

It held felt like home.

She hadnt had a desire to plant roots so strongly since she had started walking the Earth again. It felt like she was reliving memories of her past.

Perhaps that's why it hurt so badly when she was cast out.

That's why she needed Inuyasha.

He always came when she called. He did not care if she were dead or living, if she survived on rice or on souls.

He was there.

Sure, he wasn't the chattiest of company, nor her first choice.

But it would be better than the silence. Better than the emptiness.

She had liked him at one point, at a friend at least. Maybe if she spent time with him, she could feel that way once more.

Or so she had thought.

Kikyo had not expected that when he came, he would have done so with lead feet. Every step he took seemed pained, as if it weighed him down.

He did not engage in conversation, nor had she found herself wanting it. He was angry and jittery, constantly on the look out, for demons… for the woman he left behind…

She was no fool. She knew that his presence was only temporary. He could not handle being away from that makeshift group. From her reincarnation.

Kikyo would be damned if it would end that way, letting him leave her.

It had been simple to alter his memories. The correct herbs, the right magic.

It was something she had never did before, only heard of in legends. She was unsure of how long the effects would last, the extent of the memories he would lose. But from all accounts she could recall, the effect had been permanent.

It was a chance for a fresh start. It was a chance to rewrite their history in a way that had a favorable outcome.

Kikyo gave a satisfied sigh.

After all she had endured, she deserved this.


	2. Chapter 2

"Your left, Kikyo!" He shouted, running towards the demon. The beast was enormous. They had been tracking it for miles, the miko having sensed the shard nearby. But every time they seemed to get close, it would take off at top speed, and Inuyasha had had trouble catching up. By the time that they had found him, his adrenaline was already working over time.

There was a part of him that wanted the kill; it called to his demon half, the primal urge to dominate and prove that he was the stronger one, the alpha male. He had to drive to protect, no sense of comradery. He just had the desire to use his base instincts.

"This is your last chance to surrender the jewel, demon!" She spoke, her tone firm, sizing the creature up. It resembled something of an ox, but its size was so warped and mutated it hardly seemed to resemble its origins. Was it the jewel or genetics that caused such a monstrosity?

The demon laughed.

"Surrender, to the likes of you?" he scoffed. "I will slaughter you with one stroke!"

Inuyasha cracked his knuckles as he gave a crooked smile. He was in the mood for a fight.

There was very little that made sense to him right now; even his reasons for hunting down demons for these tainted shards didn't exactly add up. But the fight or flight feeling- that made sense. It was what he lived his life on.

"At least this will be interesting."

As the demon made his move, Inuyasha lunged forward, using his claws to swipe at his opponent, leaving him severely injured. The ox used his own to attack at the hanyou, fresh blood spilling from his side. Kikyo prepared to fight. She readied her bow, knocking the arrow back, just as Inuyasha was out of her eyeline. A pink light burst from where the arrow hit, and with a loud cry, the demon fell to the ground, his flesh burnt and blackened.

The miko walked over to the mass, calm and collected. She stepped over the limbs, walked through the blood to where the shard called to her. Reaching down, digging through the beasts arm, she retrieved the black shard. She closed it in the palm of her hand as she closed her eyes, focusing her energy on restoring it to its pure state.

Kikyo turned her head, focusing on the hanyou. She walked over to him to assess the damage.

"Did you do it?" He grunted

"Of course. Its an easy matter to purify it, and keep it so."

"Can I see it?" he asked, curiosity piqued. "I still cant believe the jewel was smashed into bits."

She looked at him, distrust written all over her features.

"I'd rather you didn't. While only part, you still have demon blood. The jewel calls to you, and there is always the possibility that it may overcome you."

"Feh. I don't think im so weak."

"You craved the jewel once before."

"But then-" Inuyasha snapped his mouth closed quickly.

"It is just better to be on the safe side." She said, tucking the jewel away with the others.

Inuyasha took the time to inspect his wounds.

"Why did you not use your sword?" She asked.

"Feh, that piece of garbage? What the hell could that thing do?" He said, staggering over to a tree.

"Do you not find it sufficient?"

"Its just a rusted piece of junk. I don't know why Im even carrying it around." He took a deep breath, wriggling around to find a comfortable spot. He needed to sit, just for a moment. The ox had hit him harder than he expected.

"…Do you know where it came from, Kikyo?"

"The sword?" She asked, raising a brow.

"Yeah. I- I don't remember it. I didn't have it before I met you, so I must have gotten it while we were together."

She was quite for a moment before answering.

"I am not sure of its origins, but I believe it to be an heirloom of your fathers."

"My fathers?" He asked skeptically.

"Yes. I believe you carry it for sentimental reasons."

"Youre sure about that?" He raised a brow, before leaning his head back.

"There had been talk that it… transforms… but- Inuyasha, let us save this for another time. Your wounds are more pressing."

"Feh. Im not a weak human. Ill be fine in a few hours."

It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth either. He felt terrible.

She leaned over him, reaching out her hand to inspect his side. Quickly, his hand shot up to grab hers.

"I don't need to be looked at-"

" _I don't need to be looked at wench!"_

It was as if a shock went through his body. He was holding Kikyo, but as if in a flash, he saw himself holding someone else's dainty wrist.

She removed her hand from him.

But it stayed.

The other wrist. The vision, it didn't let go.

 _She flung her hand out of his clawed grasp._

" _I don't care what you say, Inuyasha but Im going to look at your wounds, and Im going to bandage them up!" The voice said, determination pouring out of her._

" _I keep telling you, time after gods damn time, that I don't need your freaking help!" He yelled._

" _And I keep telling you, that you can whine and complain all you want, but you have an open wound and Im going to treat you whether you like it or not!" She screamed back._

 _He took a few steadying breaths, filling his nostrils with her scent._

" _Inuyasha," she started, her voice calmer, gentle. "Please, let me do this."_

" _Im not some weak human who cant-"_

" _It doesn't matter if you're a demon or a human. If your bleeding it hurts, right? It doesn't matter that it will only take you a day to bounce back. In that day, you'll still be in pain." She reached her small hand out to touch his cheek. "Please, Inuyasha."_

 _He let out a jagged breath._

" _Do whatever you want, wench." He ground out._

 _She smiled, he could tell that much. Most of her face was shadowed, darkened, but he could see the up turn of her lips, the grace of her smile._

 _He was glad._

 _She went to work stripping him of his fire rat, working loose his layers._

 _He heard her breath catch as she laid her eyes on the gaping hole in his stomach. He had to admit, the bastard had got him good._

" _Oh, Inuyasha…" She bit her lip instinctively. Tears? He could smell the salt. She must be holding them back. She gently laid her hand on the hard plains of his stomach, causing him to quiver. She shook slightly, pulling herself together._

" _All right. Im going to disinfect it first. It might sting."_

" _Like some medicine is going to hurt me."_

" _Just a warning."_

" _I know by now what your damn medicine is like. You make me do this crap every time."_

" _That's because I want you to heal better."_

" _I don't need help for that."_

" _And here we are again. It's a circle. Can we agree to disagree?"_

" _Feh."_

 _He turned her head, watching her from the corner of his eyes as she diligently cleaned and bandaged his stomach._

" _Finished." She said, running her hand lightly over the bandages._

" _Still a waste of time." He muttered. "But… thanks…"_

 _He could see her smile kindly._

" _I hate that you get hurt…" She said, her voice trailing as she gently rubbed where the bandage met his bare skin._

" _O-oi. Its not like I try too. It just cant be helped sometimes."_

" _I- I know… but still…" She seemed to hesitate, holding back what she wanted to say._

 _She leaned down, pressing her lips against the crisp white bandages. Her hair- black hair- fell around her._

" _K-K-" He breathed out, trying to find words._

" _To help you heal faster." She said, embarrassment evident in her voice._

 _He reached a clawed hand out to stroke the sides of her face. He watched as her blurred image leaned into his palm, cupping her own dainty hand over his large, dangerous one._

" _Are you hungry? I can get you something to eat." Her sweet voice said._

" _Not yet." He replied simply. He just wanted her to stay. It occurred to him that if he had these moments alone with her, he'd gladly take the hit._

" _Okay." She said, reaching over to a canister of water and a towel. She wet the cloth, then leaned over him, making a move to clean him._

" _You don't have to do that." He said quickly. "Im not a kid. Im not disabled."_

" _I know youre not, Inuyasha. I want to. The others are back at the slayer village. It's just us… let me take care of you…"_

 _The memory went blank momentarily, as he closed his eyes and nodded his head in agreement._

 _She gently began to wipe his face, the sweat from battle, the blood that had splattered on him from the demons defeat._

 _She was straddling him now, cleaning him with such care and compassion. He reached up, moving her thick black hair over her shoulder._

" _Inuyasha?" She asked, her voice breathless._

 _He sat up, wincing slightly in pain. He moved closer to her, the view of her blurred, but her lips… were so crystal clear… so close…_

The hanyou shook his head as he was pulled back from the memory. Kikyo hand moved her hand from his grasp.

"As you say, Inuyasha." She said, dropping her hand. He watched as she walked away.

He ran his hands through his hair, his entire body shaking.

What the hell was that? Who the hell was that?

The memory felt warm and comfortable. He- he was about to kiss that woman, wasn't he?

The woman who had come to him so suddenly… she had cared for him. That much was obvious.

What was even clearer was that this mystery person was, was not Kikyo.

He had never in his life acted that was with the priestess… Had he?

With his memories missing, he couldn't be sure. But from the way they acted now, they were not as familiar as the blurred figure.

But who was she? Where was she now?

The hanyou felt a pain in his chest as he tried to recall her face. His demon raged, encouraging him, pushing him.

It felt like a bolt of lightning to his head; it hurt so damn much it almost brought tears to his eyes. He had to stop, just for now. He had to focus on healing his open wounds before he worked on decoding his memories.


	3. Chapter 3

Inuyasha crouched down low, bringing his body low to the ground. Tracking had always been easy for him; its what kept him alive. It was how he ate, how he found his way around. How he survived.

And now, it was how he was finding the demon who ran off with a shard.

He rubbed the soil between his fingers, examining the size of the tracks. What type of beast was this?

Quickly, he glanced over his shoulder to see if the miko was looking. She was focusing her attention on her bow, so he knew now was his chance.

He brought his nose to the ground, feeling every bit the dog demon. He didn't feel comfortable with Kikyo seeing him that way.

As she rose up, he caught sight of the purple beads that dangled from his neck.

Something about it seemed familiar.

He froze, closing his eyes trying to block the pain.

" _SIT!"_

" _SIT!"_

 _SIT BOY!"_

" _INUYASHA! IF YOU CALL ME THAT ONE MORE TIME-"_

" _I fucking dare you, bitch!"_

" _SIT!"_

It blurred through his mind, the hundreds of times his body was brought lower to the ground, some mysterious force pulling him down. He could feel the weight, the anchor that forced him there.

Her voice rang through his ears. Over and over again. Sit. Sit. Inuyasha, sit! It was shrill and angry, full of emotion.

It was a different anger than he had ever known.

It wasn't anger or hatred from being a hanyou; he knew the sound of that too well. It was like she, who ever she was, was upset with him because of something he did.

It made no sense. He had never known anyone well enough to upset them… for something other than being alive.

This woman was angry _at_ him. At Inuyasha as a person. He furrowed his brows together as another wave of pain hit him.

" _Will you just listen to me?!" He yelled, clenching his fists by his side._

" _I don't think I need to, Inuyasha. You've already said enough!" She screamed, storming off ahead of him._

" _Feh, you haven't heard the half of it, wench!" He called after her, ready to pounce._

" _You're just digging your own grave, Inuyasha." A male voice chided him._

" _You mean hole." A smaller one giggled._

 _He turned to look at them, growling._

" _Stay the fuck out of this."_

 _They were blurred figures, a taller man, dressed in robes… and a demon child?_

" _Just leave them alone you two. Its only going to make it worse." Another female?_

" _How can we stay out of it when hes such an idiot? What if she goes home again?!" the child cried._

 _He didn't want her to go home. He wasn't sure who she was, or where she would run off to._

 _But the feeling to keep her there was overwhelming._

" _If you would all just shut the fuck up and mind your own damn business, I can get her back." He said through clenched teeth._

 _He took off in a run, following the path._

 _It didn't take him long to find her. She couldn't go as far as he could. He leaped, landing in front of her._

" _Leave me alone, Inuyasha." She said, her voice dangerous._

"' _I'm not done talking to you." He hissed._

" _Well, I am." She made a move to walk past him._

" _Where do you think you're going?"_

" _HOME, INUYASHA. I AM GOING HOME."_

" _We have shards to find." He countered._

" _How could I forget, Inuyasha? I'm just a shard detector after all!"_

 _He bit down on his tongue so hard he drew blood._

" _I swear, Im losing my fucking mind, woman!"_

" _Move." She commanded._

" _Like hell."_

" _INUYASHA-"_

" _Don't fucking say it wench." He seethed._

" _SIT BOY."_

 _He was down. His face in the dirt, his body sore._

 _He struggled to look up, only to see her bare, long legs disappear in the distance._

 _He waited for the spell to subside. He had to catch her, had to bring her back._

Inuyasha panted, the pain coursing through him.

It wasn't just the woman, there was more. A male, a female, a child.

They were familiar with him. They called him names and he did not tear them to shreds.

They had no fear that he would either. The trusted him enough to know they were safe, and still speak their minds.

And she- the woman-

She was haunting him. He couldn't recall her face, her scent. He could make out parts of her body; her long, creamy legs, her thick black hair.

Her sweet voice that hit so many nerves.

She too had no fear of him. She said her mind, somehow threw him to the ground, and did it all knowing that he wouldn't hunt her down like the demon he was.

The image of her walking away… he had seen that before. Layers of images crashed down on him, of the woman bizarrely dressed, and leaving him, purpose in her steps.

"Inuyasha?" A cold voice called, pulling him out of his trace.

Kikyo…

"Do you know the way?"

Taking a sniff of demons scent, he nodded his head. Whatever the hell was going on with him, it would have to wait. He had a shard to find.

~.~

"Kagome! You're back!" Shippos excited voice called to her. He ran over to meet her as she climbed out of the well, her heavy bag making the climb a challenge.

"Of course I am." She said with a laugh. "I told you I would only be a day."

"I know…" He replied, his voice trailing off. "It's just that I get worried." But blurted out.

She knew. How could she not? Every time she made her descent into the well the fox demon was anxious.

He was worried she wouldn't come back.

She had tried her best to reassure him, as well as the others, that she would always return. Everyone had told her that they would understand if it became too much, if she needed to leave for a final time… they wouldn't hold it against her if she had to go home.

But after three long years, she had seen the evil that Naraku had caused. He had devastated families, wiped out villages, turned friends into foes.

She saw the pain that Sango endured, the loss of her family, the fight for her brother. And Miroku, who lived in fear of his own hand, the hole that gradually grew bigger… And Shippo, the poor fox who was growing up before her eyes, only because he had witnessed the slaughter of his family for a shard.

It wasn't that she could measure one's pain against another. She knew that in their own way, each person's grief was just as heavy, just as devastating. But Inuyashas…

She felt it on a level that was different than the others. How could she not?

She loved him.

From the pit of her core, she loved the hanyou.

It was a pointless, fruitless love.

For a while, she believed that they had made enough progress to overcome his past, to heal the wounds that he suffered.

She had really thought that if the time came, he would have at least deliberated; considered her, their future.

She had been deluding herself.

She had known all along that she had a place. She knew that Inuyasha did _care_ for her. Had cared for her. But it didn't measure up, not to what she felt. Not to what he felt for Kikyo.

She had loved him as a man, as a demon- as the mixture of the two. She loved his cocky smile, the softness of his eyes, the fierce protector that he was.

She loved him best in the moments that it was just the two of them, where she was shown a side that was hidden away. The times that he would reach for her… hold her… whisper in her ear things that made her blush, sending shivers down her spine…

She loved him.

Loved.

It was painful to love him. Each day she woke up, she felt his absence. She would roll onto her back, staring into the branches of the trees overhead, still expecting him to be there, vigilantly watching over the camp as they slept. In those moments that she stared at the emptiness, the pain stung.

And at night her body exhausted from travel or battle, she would lie herself down, weary to her soul. Thinking over the events of the day, she silently said a prayer that he was safe. She couldn't watch over him. She couldn't know if he was eating well, if he was resting properly, especially after a fight. But then again, he had Kikyo with him. She was a strong opponent. Maybe together he would get hurt less.

He had to be happier, right? He could finally be with Kikyo… have the chance that he had been so cruelly denied.

He was finally with the woman he loved.

Kagome had to get herself together. She couldn't allow herself to wallow in self pity. She had known her place all along.

She was a filler.

Yes, she loved him.

Loved.

 _Loved_.

She tried to stress it. Tried to convince herself.

She couldn't love him any longer. It was toxic.

~.~

"Do you know what the hell these beads are?" He grunted, pulling at the purple necklace. As much as he tugged, the damn thing wouldn't lift over his head.

"Your beads?" She echoed.

They were new.

Well, new to him. He couldn't remember how long he had had them, or where the fuck they came from, but he wanted them off.

NOW.

"They- they wont- Its like a spell!" He complained. "But what the hell for?!"

"I fashioned them." She quickly said.

"Eh? You did? Why?" he shot her a look. Quickly he masked his features. It wouldn't do to show her that he was displeased.

"They are beads of protection."

"What do you mean?"

"They are quite coveted. I placed a spell so that only _I_ can remove them."

"But what do they protect me from?" He asked, furrowing his brow.

"Harm." She said firmly, ending the discussion. "I am going to set the barrier for the night." She said before leaving him in her wake.

He nodded, then turned his attention back to the purple beads.

Protection.

That sounded… kind of right…

Idly, he fingered the necklace, testing its weight.

" _Will you remove these damn beads?" He hissed._

" _Its like a fucking collar!"_

" _Make him sit!" A childs voice rang out with amusement._

" _Take these damn things off of me!" He complained._

" _As long as you have those beads on my friend, I would watch what I say." A mans voice said sympathetically._

" _You think we could get a set of beads for that jerk over there?" A females annoyed voice complained._

He closed his eyes as the voices washed over him.

Nothing made sense anymore. He didn't know the owners of these voices.

Hell, he didn't even know if they were real!

…That's right!

He could be making this all up in his head!

Maybe some of these things happened- maybe they were wishful thinking.

Maybe that woman really was Kikyo… Maybe-

Maybe she seemed so jumbled up because of the blast…. And he was just trying to sort out actual events with fantasies.

That had to be it.

It had to be.

As much as he told himself that, the rage of his demon wouldn't die down.


	4. Chapter 4

The colors blurred together, the voices mixed. He couldn't make sense of what was going on.

It was always like this when he dreamed now. It was as if he was chasing something unattainable. He wanted to grab onto whatever it was- it seemed incredibly important.

But as soon as he neared it, it slipped through his fingers. It was there, and then it wasn't. It called to him in a familiar way that clenched his chest, and confused him, the emptiness that it left.

He felt less settled in his waking life. Kikyo was dead- _dead._ How could he possibly forget her death?

How could he forget the miracle of her rebirth?

Clearly a significant amount of time has passed between the day at the docks and now. He couldn't make sense of the changes; things just didn't fit together.

And while he wanted to ask the Miko more about his missing memories, something told him that he was walking on thin ice with her. Had he done something to upset her prior to the blast? Was she tired of the situation, having to constantly explain things to him?

Or was she simply just tired of being in the company of a filthy hanyou?

He wasn't a fool; he knew that he was damned lucky that someone of her caliber was willing to turn a blind eye to his existence, let alone travel with him. Once they pieced together the jewel, he would become human- become worthy of being by her side. 

" _I like you the way you are."_

He winced, the sound of a sweet voice ringing in his ears.

He had heard that in his dreams. I like you the way you are. Feh.

When had anyone liked him the way he was- fuck, when had anyone liked him period?

No wonder it was a dream.

He had hope though. The fact that he was together with Kikyo…

Maybe it was her?

Maybe that was something she had said. She had to like his personality, or she wouldn't be here.

It didn't feel right.

I like you the way you are.

What a load of crap.

Who would like someone like him?

He closed his eyes tighter, willing himself to find the source.

He wanted to run his claws through her for being such a fucking liar, whoever _she_ was.

~.~

"Thank you so much for your help." The elderly man said as he feebly sipped a cup of tea. "I don't know what we would have done if it wasn't for you."

"Think nothing of it." Miroku said with a kind smile.

They had been on the hunt, chasing the rumors of a crow demon with a shard, when they stumbled upon a village it had recently attacked. They made the decision as a group to help- putting off the chase for a day- and bandage up the survivors as best they could.

Since Inuyasha had left, the group had more of a democracy. The voted on what to do, where to go next. But seeing the state of the village, it was unanimous that they stay and help.

"Truly, we would have been lost without your assistance, and your strange medicine."

"That is from Kagomes homeland." Sango said proudly, as if Kagome herself had made aspirin.

"Im just glad it helped." Kagome smiled as she bandaged a womans arm.

"And you are really on the way to hunt down that beast?" A young man asked. He was handsome, with black hair and piercing brown eyes.

"Of course we are! Who else is going to take it down?" Shippo asked, brining over a box of Band-Aids.

"Just the 4 of you?" He asked skeptically.

"5." Sango replied.

The young man looked around, recounting.

"Kirara. Shes quite fierce in battle, arn't you Kirara?" Sango said with a proud smile.

The man looked at her as if she were insane.

There was no way that two women, one dressed in her underwear, a monk and a fox kit could take down that crow.

"I will accompany you." He said sternly.

"Eh?" Kagome looked up from her work.

"You will need all the help you can get. The crow-"

"Really, I think were okay." Kagome said frantically.

"Yes, Kagome is right. We are more capable than we appear." Miroku said.

"Please," The eldely man interjected. "Allow my son Kyou to accompany you." He begged. "As thanks for your help. He is a strong fighter. He defended our village."

"Im sure he could be a help, but we-"

"It is not just for you that I will go." Kyou said. "Its for the honor of my village."

Kagome looked at the man, determination in his eyes.

"Okay." She said simply. "Were leaving first thing in the morning."

Kyou nodded then left the hut.

"Kagome-" Sango said under her breath. "Why did you say it was okay?"

"Yeah." Shippo asked. "He might just get in the way."

"I have to agree with the others. We might focus our attention on keeping him safer rather than fighting the demon."

"Miroku is right. We know how each other fights. We know our strengths and weaknesses. He may throw us off."

"Even still, he should come." Kagome said.

"But-"

"When I looked at him… it was like looking at you Sango, when we first met."

"Hm?"

"He has the same fight in his eyes. He needs to go and avenge his people."

"I can certainly understand that." She said, her voice low.

"Very well." Miroku agreed.

"Besides, its just for a little while. After we take down the crow demon, he will go home."

~.~

Inuyasha was about to do something very brave.

Something he had never done before.

He was going to try and hold Kikyos hand.

He had come to the conclusion that he was insane. That he was hearing voices of people that either never existed, or villagers that he had come in contact with along the way.

And the woman- it had to be Kikyo.

Maybe she was upset because their relationship had progressed so far, and now it was so far back?

Maybe she was afraid to approach him?

But all these images… of her… of them together…

If it was her, then holding her hand should be natural. If he reached out, she should smile, just like she had in the vision.

 _She was sitting down in the grass, her knees bent into her chest. He could tell that she was upset. She was looking up at the stars, unaware she was being watched. He walked over, a gentle breeze blowing his silver hair._

 _She turned her head, looking his way. Her face was blurred, crude. Her entire being was rough._

 _Silently, he sat next to her, taking a deep breath._

" _I… I didn't mean it." He blurted out._

" _I know." She said sadly._

" _I- it just- fuck. I don't know why I said that."_

" _Its fine, Inuyasha. You don't have to justify yourself." She said._

" _No, I think I do, since your sitting here pouting." He said, an edge in his voice. "They just wont let up. Its embarrassing."_

" _So because you are embarrassed, you had to act like that?" She turned to face him. He could feel the blush on his cheeks._

 _He turned his head away. Inuyasha clenched his fist, before spreading his palm over her small one._

" _Feh. You should know by now I don't think that about you."_

 _She paused a moment, digesting his words. Slowly, she turned her hand over to lace their fingers together._

 _She had no fear of his claws._

 _He looked at her, her plump lips that curved into a smile._

 _They were clear, perfect._

" _Really?" She asked, a teasing tone in her voice as she squeezed his hand._

 _She bit her bottom lip, and it was all he could take._

 _He leaned in to kiss her, the smile on her lips seductive and welcoming._

He leaned in, and it was over.

Even in his damn dreams he couldn't get close to the miko!

But today, he was going to test it.

Today, he was going to reach out, and hold her hand, just like he had done then.

Kikyo was sitting by the base of a tree. He tried to follow along with his vision. He sat down next to her silently, watching as she fiddled with her bow.

Shakily, he reached out, placing her hand over hers.

It looked different. Her hand, while small and dainty, was not the same as the vision.

"Inuyasha?" the miko questioned, looking up at him. He did his best to smile.

And she returned it!

Kikyo smiled at him!

He looked at her lips. They were different. The others were plump and pink.

Hers were smaller, paler.

 _Not the same!_ His demon raged.

He did his best to work it down.

Her smile was encouragement, right? If she truly was the woman from his visions, then she would accept him, just as she had then.

He leaned in quickly, parting his lips slightly. Swiftly, he kissed her.

Before she pushed him away.

"Inuyasha!" She said, raising her hands between them.

He staggered, trying to catch his breath.

"What has come over you?!" She looked him over.

"I- I just thought- you and I-"

"Say it clearly."

"I thought we were together."

She took a breath.

"We are. We will be. Once the jewel is whole. Let us save our embraces for then."

He nodded mutely.

"What gave you the idea to act so boldly?" Her eyes widened slightly. "Have you recovered some of your memories, inuyasha?" She looked at him critically.

He swallowed, knowing in that moment, he couldn't tell her the truth.

She wasn't the woman.

She wasn't the one he had been with.

He shook his head.

"No. Everything is still a blur."

She visibly relaxed.

"What a shame. When the day does arrive that you remember… even if only bits.. please tell me." She smiled.

It wasn't the same.

Not the same as _hers._

He tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

"Okay."


	5. Chapter 5

Inuyasha never knew what would set it off. It could be anything from the sound of laughter from villagers to the scream of a demon he brought down. He could never fucking tell what would trigger a vision.

Memory.

Bout of insanity.

Whatever the fuck it was!

The other day it had been the sound of bells.

Fucking _bells_.

He closed his eyes in response, the clanking of the metal sounding so familiar.

' _Of course it sounds familiar. Its fucking metal.'_ He told himself, feeling quite the fool.

But he couldn't figure out why the sound of the bells was accompanied by the image of a monk's staff, the rings jingling as the owner beat the path before him.

Images came to him in rapid flashes; a male figure leaning against a golden staff, him dodging it as it descended to hit him on the head… and the same golden rod used as a weapon in battle… Inuyasha shouting over his shoulder, the gleam of the staff catching his eye… talking to this man like an ally… all too fast to make sense of, and all to strange to be done by, what he presumed, was a holy man.

' _Feh, holy man my ass.'_ The memory called out to him, the sound of his own voice causing such pain he began to tremble.

It really was a fucking nuisance.

There was no time for him to break down, and no safe place for him to go through- well whatever the hell this was!

What happens if he had a vision while fighting for his life? He would be weak and vulnerable.

Or worse- what if he fucking lost it and Kikyo was injured… or killed…

What then?

He didn't want to remember anymore.

He didn't want to know who the people were, what they were to him…

Who she was.

The woman that came to him in his dreams every night.

The woman whose gentle laughter floated to him in the dark, filling his mind with questions and his demon with a longing so intense it was physically painful.

He didn't want to know.

Had he cheated on Kikyo? What kind of woman was she, that she would focus her attentions on a taken man? Inuyasha knew he was a lot of things- a filthy hanyou, worthless, and undeserving, but he knew one thing for sure- he was loyal.

He wouldn't betray Kikyo.

She was the first person to look at him.

And she was the first person he had wanted.

Sure, he had wanted to be around villagers in the past, longed for the social gatherings, their easy laughter and support. But he got over it. They didn't want him… and he didn't need them.

But Kikyo-

She was different.

She had been the same, or so he thought. Just another human out to kill a filthy hanyou.

But she had held back her arrows, shooting to stop, not maim.

It was the first real act of kindness he had been shown since his mother.

Gods, when she actually tried to talk to him? He didn't even know how to respond.

He owed her too much. Without Kikyo, he would be totally alone. He had no chance of a future without the Miko. Sure, she could be cold and reserved. He still didn't know much about her if he was honest….

But she was a representation of hope. Of something brighter.

He wouldn't betray her. He couldn't.

 _You cant betray your mate._ His demon raged at him.

His mate?

He reasoned that it had to be Kikyo, although his demon had never reacted to her in such a way. He was aware of his more primal instincts, but ever since that fucking blast, he had been feeling them more fiercely than before, as if it was trying to guide him back to his memories.

Whenever he thought about that woman, his demon responded.

Was he seduced by her?

Blackmailed?

Was she a demon temptress?

Even as he said that, he knew it was wrong.

She always sounded to kind… so genuine.

Yet still, how could he betray the miko?

And if that was the case…

It was no wonder that she was so cold to him. He pretended not to see, but the miko was always watching him from the corner of her eyes, as if waiting for something.

There was no way she couldn't have known.

It became very clear.

Kikyo didn't trust him.

It was too much. The guilt and unease of not knowing was eating him alive.

And yet he wanted to remain ignorant as long as fucking possible.

~.~

"So how far will we travel?" Kyou asked the group.

"However long it takes." Sango answered simply.

The group had been on edge since the arrival of the headman's son. He looked capable, enough. As much as a person could be who had no experience going up against Naraku.

But Kagome had been right; he needed the opportunity to avenge his family, his home.

She was good for that, brining in the lost souls and weaving them together to create a cohesive group.

"It really depends on the demon, what its doing and how fast it can travel." Kagome supplied, trying to fill the gap.

"Ah. I see." He said, chewing over his thoughts. "I don't want you to misunderstand… its not that Im in a hurry. This is my duty, no matter the length of time."

"We understand." Miroku offered.

"Its just- well, this is not the average band of people." He tried to smile. "I am just trying to get a feel for what you do, if it may take a while."

"Don't get so ahead of yourself." Shippo said arrogantly. It was as if he felt the need to take up the hanyous role. That was exactly the type of harsh comment he would have said if-

If he hadnt left.

If he hadnt chosen Kikyo.

Kagome couldn't help but let her mind go back to that day. She couldn't help but wonder what would be different if Inuyasha was there.

She looked down at the fox kit and shook her head.

"Don't be like that Shippo. Hes right. Im sure we do come off as a bit odd."

"Hes the odd one, wanting to go with strangers." He turned his head.

' _He must miss Inuyasha. Even though the fought, they did love eachother. The loss of Inuyasha must be harder on Shippo than hes letting on. Thank Gods I stayed… with his family gone… were all he has left…'_

Kagome stopped to pick the fox up off the ground.

"Hey-!" He complained at the suddent movement.

She brought him close to her chest, hugging him tightly.

"Don't be so cold hearted Shippo. He has suffered too."

She heard him sniffle before he nodded his head.

"Sorry." She apologized on his behalf.

"Its no problem. Im quite familiar with the harsh tongue of children." He laughed.

"Do you have kids?" Sango asked, curiosity peaking.

"Me? Gods no!" He couldn't hide his surprise. "I am still unmarried. But I am the oldest of 8."

The others nodded as Kagome tried to imagine 7 more versions of Souta.

"Do you all come from the same village?" Kyou asked.

"No, we met while taking different paths on this journey. It was Kagome here, who brought us together."

The woman blushed in response.

"That sounds like an interesting tale." He commented.

"It's a long one." She said, trying to wave it off.

"Well," Kyou said with a kind smile, "I have some time."

~.~

The day was mild, the wind was warm and the sun was shining. It was a day that made Inuyasha want to just sit in the branches of a tree and enjoy it.

Kikyo had no such plans.

She wanted to march forward, covering as much ground as possible.

He felt strangely torn; on the one hand, he knew he wanted to find those shards- knew he had to find them. But for some reason…

For some reason he had this nagging sensation in the back of his mind that he needed to stop. That he needed to take in the scenery and breathe in the scent of the country.

" _Theres nothing like this back home!"_ A womans excited voice floated through him.

He felt compelled to sit for a moment, choosing a nice, grassy hill to compose himself.

Looking around, it was as if his world was overlapping.

 _He was sitting on a hill, overlooking a small village. He was angry. He could feel it rolling off of him in waves; his body wanted to fight- to rip something apart._

 _His mind knew he couldn't leave._

 _Couldn't leave her…_

 _She came into his sight, as if on cue. A mass of colors, swirled together into a crude form. She was barely distinguishable as a human… and yet.._

 _Yet he knew it was her._

 _Whoever_ _ **she**_ _was._

 _She sank to the ground, turning to face him._

"… _Thank you, Inuyasha." Her voice was soft… earnest…_

" _Forget it." He said, trying to brush off her compliment._

" _I mean it… you… you didn't have to do that…"_

" _Feh. Whats the big deal?" He said, his tone colder than he meant. "That asshole had it coming."_

 _She nodded silently at first._

" _But still… You stuck up for me…"_

 _Feh. Stuck up for her._

 _He wanted to fucking gut the bastard for saying a word against her! He called her a witch with her strange things and manners. Called her a tramp for her clothing._

 _Inuyasha gripped the handle of his sword._

" _Inuyasha, don't…" She called out to him, fear in her voice._

 _He released the sword at his side, clenching his hands into tight fists._

 _And he fucking knocked the asshole to the ground with one punch._

 _Feh, he even threw it._

 _He stalked off, trying to control his rage, leaving the woman in his wake._

 _And she had found him, as he knew she would._

 _He tried to focus on her, tried to see clearly who she was, this woman who he had both lost his cool for and controlled his temper._

 _He could see her blush crawling down to her neck as she bit her lower lip. The woman leaned up and placed a quick kiss on his cheek, her hand caressing his other._

 _He could feel the heat she left behind; it seared his skin in the most pleasant way. His heart was beating furiously. He felt nervous and anxious and-_

 _And unsatisfied._

 _It wasn't enough._

 _He caught her before she could pull away, placing his large palm over her hand._

 _He leaned in, brushing his nose against hers._

 _He could hear the sharp inhale, he could her the racing of her pulse._

 _Her lips were so plump and pink. She parted them subconsciously._

" _Not there." He breathed out huskily._

 _For a moment, it felt as if time stopped as they both closed the gap, timid and hungry to taste one another._

 _Inuyasha pulled the woman to him, wanting to get her as close as physically possible._

 _He wanted to kiss her, devour her whole; he wanted to hug her, crush her against his chest. He couldn't make up his mind what to do next._

 _Her body was a rough outline, a sketch of a human being. Her face was blurred, only certain parts coming into focus when he centered his concentration on a particular point._

 _His demon was elated, almost purring. 'Its been too long' it sang to him. And in that moment, he agreed._

 _He rumbled deep from his chest, and he heard her deeply exhale._

 _Her eyes fluttered open, and for a moment, it was clear._

 _It was as if he had been stabbed, the pain so quick and abrupt._

 _Her blue, stormy eyes._

 _Panting, she called out his name._

" _Inuyasha…"_

"FUCK!" The hanyou dug his claws into his scalp as he clenched his eyes shut.

He let out a series of ragged breaths, desperately trying to get enough air into his lungs.

It hurt.

It hurt so fucking bad.

Nothing made sense. He both knew this story and it was fresh, as if he was living it for the first time.

Until now, he wanted these visions to stop.

He wasn't sure if they were memories or bits from a past life, or crap he made up in his damn head. But it was confusing, and painful.

And worse, it was getting in the way of Kikyo.

He should be feeling blessed to have this time with her, fuck, this was all he had ever dared to hope for! Instead, because of these fucking visions, he was left with a feeling of unease and distrust.

Damn it!

He stood up, trying to steady himself.

He had wanted the visions to stop.

 _Had_.

He could still hear her sweet voice echoing through his mind.

 _Inuyasha, Inuyasha, Inuyasha…_

She kept calling to him, calling his name.

But he had been the one to kiss her.

He had been the one who wanted it.

Temptress.

Feh, maybe. He wouldn't know, since she was just a blur.

But not in the way he had thought; she didn't come on to him, use or manipulate him.

 _HE_ was the one who stuck his nose into her business and had to defend her! Why the hell would he care about the problems of pathetic humans?

' _He insulted our mate'_ His demon growled.

And he had been waiting for her. He wouldn't leave without her.

' _I don't want to be far from her.'_ A memory echoed in response.

She had come to him, as nothing more than grateful.

She just fucking thanked him.

Sure, whoever it was… kissed him on the cheek-

' _It wasn't enough-'_

But he had seen humans do this from time to time-

' _I'll fucking kill anyone that she-'_

And he took it further and asked for more.

No, he fucking demanded it.

He felt sick with guilt.

He had wanted to forget.

Impossible.

He knew now he couldn't.

It was as if she was ingrained in him, as if he couldn't separate himself from this stranger.

And her eyes…

He knew he had seen them before- Knew that he had been looked at that before…

By her.

Those eyes-

How could he let go of those eyes now?


	6. Chapter 6

_They were at the bottom of an enclosed space. The Earth was cool beneath his bare feet, as he landed lightly. He turned to look at his companion, who had her back turned to him She was adjusting the large yellow bag. Rolling his eyes he took the strap and slid it off of her._

" _Can I carry it now?" He asked, slightly annoyed._

" _I can manage for a while." The woman protested. "Its not fair that you carry it all the time."_

" _Feh. And here I thought you had some sense in that head of yours." He said. "You get weighed down by all that crap you stuff in there. It slows you down and makes your body tired. This-" He held the backpack up with his pink finger to demonstrate his point. "This- is nothing for me."_

 _She shook her head while she shrugged her shoulders. "Alright, you win. You can do the heavy work."_

" _Feh." He grunted, secretly pleased. It was his job to make things as easy for her as he could._

 _He looked up, taking note of his surroundings before he would leap up,_

 _That's when he felt it; a pair of soft, small arms wrap around his middle._

" _K-"_

" _Do we have to go yet?" She said from behind him._

" _What do you mean?" He asked, knitting his brows together._

" _I- I just want another minute with you… alone…. Before we see the others."_

 _He could practically feel her blush. He cracked a sly smile._

 _Inuyasha turned to embrace her, hugging her tightly against his chest._

 _He knew how she felt. The moment they saw their group, that damn fox would be all over her, she would have to spend time with the slayer and laugh at the monks jokes._

 _In short, her attention would have to be divided. And he hated it._

 _Leaning down, he hungrily claimed her lips, their tongues fighting for dominance. Thinking back on how shy they had been about kissing before- well, it was laughable now._

 _He breathed in the sweet smell of her scent. Wild flowers… laced with desire…_

 _For him._

 _She wanted_ _ **him**_ _._

" _Is-is there anyone around?" She asked._

 _Inuyasha turned his ears to get a better sense of the surrounding areas._

" _No." He answered shaking his head._

 _She bit her lip a moment before she responded._

" _Then let be quick." She said._

" _Here?" He asked, his eyes wide._

" _Why not? If theres no one around…"_

 _This woman. She was too damn much._

 _He gave her a crooked smile as he leaned in._

" _Who knew you were so lewd?" He could hear her breath catch in her throat. "All those years you yelled at me, accused me of peeking… when really you were the biggest pervert all along." He moved down to nip at her neck. He was running his hands down her sides, making a slow descent to her skirt.._

 _She covered her face as she turned her head, trying to cover her embarrassment._

" _W-Well its your fault."_

" _Mine?" He echoed, hooking his thumbs into the band of her panties. "How?" He asked as he pulled the lacy material down._

" _You- you make it feel so good." He could see the blush covering her creamy white skin, her confession awakening something primal in him._

" _Damn right." He replied as he freed himself from his pants. "Only me. You're_ _ **mine**_ _." He growled, lifting her up. She wrapped her legs around him as he pushed her back against the wall._

Inuyasha woke up with a start.

Damn it.

Damn it, damn it, damn it!

He had been having dreams like this all fucking week.

Of that strange woman, pressing her body against his, wanting him… of him, taking her in ways he hadn't even known of.

Each time adamantly claiming she belonged to him.

Sometimes he woke up a soiled mess, and others like today, he awoke so fucking hard it was painful.

He tried to focus on what he could remember- the details of his companion. But things that seemed so clear to him in a dream became hazed and fuzzy when he woke.

What he knew so far was that she was young, nearing her twenties. She had thick, black hair that had a bit of a wave. She wanted to be near him, and fuck, he wanted her close. She had a soothing prescence. She wore skirts so short it made him blush.

And her eyes- her blue, stormy eyes.

He looked over at Kikyo, who was sitting at the base of the tree below him.

Guilt gnawed at him, making him feel nauseous.

He wasn't sure what happened between them. He wasn't sure where they stood, or what caused her death or rebirth. He wasn't sure about anything when it came to Kikyo.

His demon on the other hand had its mind made up.

It told him she was a threat, she was dead.

But most unsettlingly, it screamed at him that she hurt his mate.

Nothing made sense.

How could he- Inuyasha- have a mate?

And… how could it be anyone but Kikyo?

He had betrayed her, the only woman that had given him a kind word. Kikyo was lonely before, but now she had no one.

He was all she had in the world….

How could he hurt this woman?

Every second of every day, his demon cried at the loss of its mate. It demanded he find her, protect her… take her.

Well, he wasn't controlled by his damn demon.

If whatever happened in the past was a result of his demon- well that was too fucking bad. He wasn't a slave to his instincts. And when he and Kikyo completed the jewel- that side of him would be gone forever anyway.

Taking a breath to calm himself, he leapt down to the miko.

"Is everything alright, Inuyasha?" She asked. There was no alarm in her voice. She constantly was aware of her hanyou companion.

"Ye-yeah. Everything is fine."

"Oh? That is good then." She commented, waiting for his next move.

He moved beside her and sat down, stuffing his hands into his large sleeves.

Kikyo looked at him for a moment, as if trying to guess his motives. However she shrugged it off, and turned her attention back to restringing her bow.

"It has been a while since we sat like this." She said.

"H-has it?"

"Indeed." She answered.

"I-" He tried to think of what to say next, but the scent of her was overwhelming. Death. Decay. Grave soil. It made him dizzy. He struggled to remember what she had smelled like before.

"I'm sorry if I have been sort of distant…. Since- since the blast-" He took a breath before he finished. "Im just trying to make sense of things."

This caught her attention. The miko dropped her bow and turned to face him.

"What do you mean? Have you remembered something?" She asked quickly. She calmed her self down before she continued. "What is it you are trying to make sense of? Perhaps I could help."

It hurt Inuyasha to see her so worried. She was obviously in pain from his betrayal, worried that if he remembered… that maybe he would choose _her_.

 _Our mate._ His demon reminded him.

Fuck that.

Fuck her… who ever she was.

The woman he loved was in pain… hurting because of him.

He didn't know who this woman was, with the stormy eyes or the sweet scent, or her large sexual appetite…. But what he did know was this- she was no Kikyo.

Yet even as he said these things, a part of him couldn't help but wonder- was _she_ hurting too?

~.~

"You really are quite good at fishing, my friend." Miroku commented, as he watched Kyou pick up the net with an abundance of fish.

"Hes _alright_ at it." Shippo said, crossing his small arms over his chest.

"I learned it from my father. We come from a fishing village." He answered. "But thank you. However good I am at catching fish, Im afraid I make a poor cook."

"I can take care of that." Kagome offered, eyeing the catch happily.

"It has truly been such a journey for you Kagome. Who would have thought when we first met that you would volunteer to cook the fish?" Mirkou said with a laugh.

"Kagome has come a long way!" Sango chimed in with a good natured smile.

Looking down at the fresh fish in her hands, she laughed herself.

"I suppose you're right." She smiled up at her friends.

"What sort of village do you come from, Kagome?" Kyou asked. To not know how to cook must have meant she was quite wealthy. "Perhaps I have heard of it?"

"O-oh… Its far away." She said quickly.

"Kagome is special. Shes not from here." Shippo said.

"Not from here?" He asked

"Shes from the-"

Sango quickly clamped her hands over Shippos mouth.

Kyou looked at the group once more. Were they bandits? Thieves?

"A-are you wanted?" He hesitated before asking.

"Wanted? No!" She said quickly. "Its fine guys, Ill tell him. Its better than him thinking were dangerous." She gave a small laugh. "Im from the future." She said simply.

Kyou narrowed his eyes.

She was insane.

"The future?"

"Its true!" Shippo jumped up to say. "Kagome travels through a well to go to her home 500 years in the future!"

Kyou looked to Miroku for some kind of hint. He was a man of the Gods, he would be honest.

"Its true, however unbelievable it is, my friend."

Insane. They were all insane!

"You must think were crazy." Sango said, reading his face.

"Stick with us long enough and youll see for yourself." Miroku said with a smile.

"Hes not sticking with us! Just long enough for us to kill the demon!" Shippo yelled.

"Y-you're all insane…" Kyou murmured.

"Were not! Were telling the truth!" Shippo squealed.

"We are not far from the well. Should we-"

"Don't worry guys. Like Shippo said, its not like Kyou wants to stay with us forever. He is leaving as soon as we get the shard." She turned to look at him. "Until then, youll have to put up with us lunatics." Her voice dropped, making it firm and angry.

"K-Kag-" Kyou called after her as she walked away.

"You really are an idiot." Shippo said as he grabbed a fish.

~.~


	7. Chapter 7

_He climbed through her window, only to find that the dark room was empty; he could see the light from under the bathroom door, as he crouched down and waited, as patiently as he could, for her to emerge. He assumed that he had the element of surprise on his side; he was wrong._

 _He practically salivated at the sight of her perky breasts in her tank top, her creamy legs in her underwear. Her hair was tied in a messy bun, stray hairs framing her face. She looked stunning._

 _Especially since he hadn't had this view of her in so long._

" _Inuyasha!" She called out, trying to steady her breathing. "What are you doing here?"_

" _What do you think?" He answered as best he could._

" _I told you I would be back by tomorrow morning." She answered, still standing in the doorway. "I've only been gone a day and a half."_

 _He took a deep breath, the scent of her overwhelming._

" _You think that's why Im here?" He seethed out, finally taking a stand. "It's been over a month and a half since you wanted a break."_

 _He could see her blue eyes grow wide at his admission. She bit her lip as she nodded._

" _And?"_

" _And?" He stalked towards her. "And what? Are you really fucking content to be like this?!"_

 _He could hear her swallow, could see the tremble before she finally spoke._

" _Why cant you see that this is your out!" She blurted._

" _My out?" He echoed in disbelief._

 _The woman brought her hands to her head, rubbing her temples for relief._

" _This is your chance to break it off Inuyasha. I know you don't want to hurt me, so Im doing it for you."_

" _For me? FOR ME?!" He seethed. "How the fuck does that make any sense woman!" He bared his teeth as he spoke, his fists clenched by his side._

" _I don't want you with me out of obligation Inuyasha. Just because we had sex doesn't mean-"_

" _Doesn't mean what?" He finished for her, his voice low, dangerous._

" _Doesn't mean you're stuck with me. You don't owe me. Its different in my time." She offered, turning her head._

" _So youre saying it was meaningless?"_

" _I didn't say that!" She hissed, snapping her attention back to him. "What Im saying is- ugh." She took a deep breath, to calm herself. When she spoke again, her voice was steady, and her words precise. "I know you are struggling Inuyasha. I know that you have guilt about being with me… because you have lingering feelings for Kikyo. And… and it hurts!" She finally cried out. "It hurts that you run off to her, no matter what- no matter what we are doing. The last time- the last time we were!" She bit her lip as she struggled to finish her sentence. He knew all too well what she was referring too._

 _He was twitching as she gave her confession, his claws digging into the palms of his hands._

" _This is your out." She said finally, her voice firm and resolute._

 _She had never shown him fear, not really. But when his amber eyes finally met hers, for a moment her heart skipped a beat._

 _He looked at her as if he was ready to devour her whole._

 _He pushed against her, caging her between his body and the wall._

" _Inu-"_

" _An out? You think theres a fucking_ _ **out**_ _?" He panted. "There is no fucking out. From the moment you pulled that damn arrow from my chest, there was no turning back!"_

 _He could feel the heat of her body, the resistance she gave trying to push him away._

" _You've kept me away for a month- for this? Because of Kikyo?" He leaned down to nip at her neck. "What I feel for her is completely different for what I feel for you."_

" _B-But-"_

 _He took her chin in his clawed hand, forcing her to look him in the eyes._

" _I want to be with you. I_ _ **need**_ _to be with you. Do you have any fucking idea how hard its been without you?"_

 _She shook her head, holding back her tears._

" _Its not like I haven't been with you-"_

" _You been as distant from me as if you were on the other side of the damn well. Do you know what its like to watch you, and not be able to touch you?" He emphasized his point by running a hand down her side. "To be next to you, and not be able to embrace you, just because I fucking want to? To talk to without feeling like Im going to explode?" He voice was becoming gradually angry. Inuyasha took a breath before he continued. "I- I cant-… I know its selfish… that Im a fucking bastard and I have more crap to deal with than you deserve but.. please…_

… _please don't leave me!" He grabbed her, pulling her into his chest._

 _He sounded broken and raw. More open than he had ever been with another being in his life._

 _He felt her small hands run up his back, stroking him in a soothing motion._

" _I- I wont go anywhere, Inuyasha."_

" _Promise me." He growled._

 _In that moment, he could see her eyes. Stormy blue. Honest. And on the brink of tears, as if she knew she was agreeing to an unfair bargain._

" _I promise."_

Inuyasha shook his head, trying to chase away the memory.

He was bent down in a field, trying to catch a scent of a demon- a crow from the scent of it- when the memory hit.

It was those damn wild flowers. They reminded him of _her._ He couldn't remember what Kikyo smelled like before she reeked of grave yard soil if his life depended on it, but he could distinctly remember she smelled like wild flowers.

He was surrounded by them, by their fragrance. Just like he had been then, in her bizarre room.

Inuyasha blushed as he recalled his actions, the state of her dress.

Were these really things that happened? Was he really so bold?!

He didn't want her to go. He could remember the feelings of insanity from that time. He could remember watching over her sleeping figure from high in his tree, her body tossing and turning, and he, aware of every movement.

He could remember the difference. He could remember the overwhelming feelings he had towards her… and how it did not compare to Kikyo.

He looked towards the miko, her black hair blowing in the breeze.

She was beautiful, serene.

And she wasn't her.

Not even close.

"Do you know the direction yet, Inuyasha?" Her cold voice asked.

Suddenly he wondered what had killed her, really.

H-had she killed the woman from his visions?

Taken her life because he had-

Inuyasha shook his head. The Kikyo he knew would never do such a thing.

But was she really the same woman from the docks? Despite her absence of flesh and bones, she was alive- living and breathing.

"J-just a second." He said as he bent down again.

It was then that he caught it.

The scent of the crow demons.

His eyes widened.

That wasn't all.

 _Her_ scent.

~.~

"Kagome, will you listen to me?" Kyou asked once more.

"I already told you its fine." She said, trying to end the conversation.

"Listen, its not like I enjoy groveling, so would you just give, just a little, and hear me out?" He complained.

Kagome turned to look at him.

"Youre really something. One minute youre hot and the next youre cold!"

"What?" He asked, furrowing his brow.

"What I mean is-" She said before taking a breath, "that one second your as nice as can be, and the next you're a total jerk! Whats your problem? Pick a personality and stick with it so the rest of us can keep up!"

"Well what about you? Its not like you're a ray of sunshine to travel with!" He said, inwardly laughing when her jaw dropped.

"What do you mean! Ive been on the road for years and-"

"youre strange! You and youre group and strange!"

"Take that back." She seethed, her voice dangerous.

"I wont! You have strange remedies, you dress like a female demon in heat, and your temper is more unladylike than any woman ive come across!"

Kagome had to restrain herself. She was somewhere on the verge of tears and slapping Kyou!

"Well, me and my 'strange' friends saved your village. Me and my 'strange' remedies healed your family, your friends. Its me and my 'strange' friends who are taking you to avenge your village!"

"And Im thankful!" Kyou yelled. "That's what Im trying to say! You might be different- and do things that im not used to but im damn grateful that I met you!"

"You- ..what?" Kagome let out a deep breath.

"Im sorry I snapped. I come from a small fishing village. I haven't traveled much in my life. Everything has been a shock. So… so for all I know you could be insane.. or you could be from the future. Either way you are helping me, and im thankful."

"Im not crazy." Kagome said, looking him up and down. "My friends are fine too." She sighed before she continued. "But I cant say I blame you. If it didn't happen to me, I wouldn't believe the story either."

"we should probably get back to the others."

"Yeah, youre right." Kagome smiled. "Lets save our fighting for-"

"Is everything okay Kagome?"

"I sense the shard!"

"Wha-"

"LOOKOUT!" She shouted, as she pushed him out of the way.

Kyou looked up in wonder, as a bright pink light engulfed the area, the woman he had been talking to standing strong, releasing arrow after arrow from her bow.

Kyou was a strong man.

He had defended his village. He could haul in more fish than any of his companions. He could split and stack fire wood from sunrise until sunset.

But in that moment, he felt like a helpless boy, being defended by the magnificent woman in front of him.

The crow let out a screech as it fell, hitting the ground with a loud thud.

He looked at disbelief at Kagome, who was panting, as she wiped sweat from her forehead.

She walked over to the demon, bent down and reached into its flesh, retrieving a black jewel. The woman cupped it in both of her hands as she closed her eyes, trying to catch her breath.

When she removed her top hand, the shard was pink; pure. She placed it in the vial with the others.

"K-Kago-"

Whatever thought Kyou had was cut short.

There was a furious dog demon charging towards him, with blood red eyes and claws ready to rip him in two.


	8. Chapter 8

"Inu…" Kagome breathed out, the sound of her heart pounding in her ears.

She was stunned to see him racing towards her. It had been months since the last time she had laid eyes on the dog demon, and she had to admit, her breath caught from the were sight of him. It was painful to see the man she longed for.

But then the reality of the situation hit her. She had been stunned to see him, but when she looked at his eyes that should have shone amber, they glistened red.

He was a demon, out of control.

In the back of her mind, she had always harbored the fantasy that he would come back to her; he would charge into her life just as suddenly as he had the first time, demanding her attention.

That wasn't the case now.

"KYOU. RUN." She said as calmly as she could muster.

"Me? What about you? Kagome, we've got to-"

She turned to look at the man to her side.

"I can handle him. GO." She commanded.

"You think you can shoot down that beast as easily as the crow?! He-"

"Im not going to shoot him!" She shrieked. "Just go! Run!"

"But-"

"GO!" She yelled for the last time, forcing him away with a violent push. Reluctantly, he started out in a sprint.

"Im going to get Miroku and Sango!" He said over his shoulder.

But Kagome wasn't paying attention to him; all of her energy was focused at the dog demon charging straight towards her.

"Inuya-"

He stopped in front of her, claws at the ready.

"Inu-Inuyasha…" She breathed out, her voice shaky.

The demon growled at her, his eyes bloodshot, he fangs bared.

Kagome took cautious steps towards his, pausing momentarily as he growled, but continued on.

"Inuyasha… its… its me…" She said softly, soothingly.

He wasn't stopping her, but he wasn't welcoming either. He stood in place, as if sizing her up, detecting if she was a threat.

The demon took in a deep breath, the scent of wild flowers overwhelming him. His mind was hazy from the smell of her.

' _Mate'_ his mind repeated, over and over. ' _Mine.'_

Yet he could not work out why his scent was not on her. There should be some trace of him on her skin.

Instead, what he picked up was the stench of the male he saw her push aside. He snaked out his hand to grab her wrist, dragging her body close to his, crushing her against his chest.

"Inu-" Kagome bit her bottom lip as she tried to make sense of the situation.

Inuyasha was in demon form. His sword was no where to be seen.

And he was holding her again.

Protecting her.

He didn't see her as a threat, but as _his_.

Inuyasha looked around them, trying to detect if the male human would emerge once again and try to take what was his.

Quickly, he swept Kagome off her feet, cradling her close to him. Kagome closed her eyes, feeling guilty.

It had been too long since she had last clung to his fire rat as they leapt into the trees.

~.~

"How could you have just let her stay?!" Sango demanded, furious at Kyou.

"She wasn't listening to reason. She refused to leave!"

"So you just left instead?" She accused, as they raced to the clearing where he last parted with Kagome.

"Sango, he did the right thing. He came back to alert us. If Inuyasha is overcome by his demon, he would have killed Kyou instantly."

"But still-"

"There is no winning in this situation." The monk frowned.

"Why didn't she shoot him down? Or at least try, and slow him!"

"Kagome would never hurt Inuyasha!" Shippo shouted angrily.

"You know this demon then? I was correct in guessing that."

"He traveled with us for quite some time." Miroku said after a brief pause.

"And Kagome knew him well?" Kyou asked.

"Kagome and Inuyasha were-"

"Quiet Shippo." Sango warned. "He is no longer with us anymore." She answered for the fox kit.

"This is where we were." Kyou announced.

"And you didn't see what happened to her? Where they took off?"

Kyou shook his head regretfully.

"It doesn't smell like blood. So I think shes okay!" Shippo said.

Miroku placed a hand on Sangos shoulder.

"Kagome is strong. She will know how to bring Inuyasha back."

"Hopefully."

"Have faith, Sango. Kagome has done it before."

"Yes, but we do not know what condition he is in, or what triggered his change…"

"So what do we do now? How do we save her?" Kyou asked.

"Shippo, can you detect Inuyashas scent?"

The fox moved around, sniffing the ground before nodding his head.

"Shippo and Kirara can track him."

"B-but what do we do from there? What is the plan for getting Kagome back?"

"Who knows, by the time we get there, Kagome may have calmed him down."

"Yeah, and if that's true, that dumb dog would just hand her over anyway." Shippo said with a huff, crossing his arms.

"We shouldn't waste anymore time." Miroku announced. "Lets go."

~.~

He had found them a cave, high above ground, far from the rest of her group.

In any other circumstance, she would be worried out of her mind.

But she was with Inuyasha.

Even in his demon form, he didn't want to hurt her.

Instead, he seemed more focused on mating, rather than killing.

He had tried as soon as they set foot in the cave, ripping the bottom of her shirt as his claws tried to remove it.

What had ultimately stopped him was a loud rumble from her stomach.

The demon looked her up and down, as if assessing if she would run. He turned his back and disappeared.

It wasn't long before he came back with a rabbit. Kagome flinched at the sight of the small animal, dead in his claws, but knew better than to refuse the food he had provided. Clenching her teeth, she smiled and thanked him, preparing the rabbit to be cooked.

Once the game had been skinned and cleaned, Kagome looked around the cave for sticks and twigs to make a fire. Inuyasha raised a brow as he watched her collect the wood, placing it in a small pile. He left once again, and returning with an armful of wood.

"T-thank you." She said timidly, as she set to work to make the fire.

She didn't want to startle him, didn't want to do something to set him off.

But this side of him was new. Usually she was able to subdue him with her presence, a hug, or her desperate pleading.

But this was different.

He didn't look at her as a threat, as he had done in the past. He had not changed back after holding her.

It was like he was adjusting to his demon form.

After she had roasted the rabbit, she handed him his portion. He sniffed the cooked meat and downed it in one bite, causing Kagome to shiver. In all the years she had spent with Inuyasha, she had never seen him act so…

Like an animal.

She took a deep breath and looked at him from the corner of her eye.

He had purple streaks down his cheeks, and red eyes in place of his amber…

But he was still Inuyasha. He still provided for her, protected her from the elements.

This was just a new, raw side she was unaccustomed to.

And this part of Inuyasha wanted her.

It hurt to think about; that it was only his base instincts that found her company pleasurable. She wanted the Inuyasha she had traveled Feudal Japan with, the one that leapt from tree to tree, drooled at the sight of ramen.

The man who kissed her tenderly, passionately. The hanyou that hungered for her, stealing away during the night hours to have his way with her. She could still hear him call her name in those moments, his voice harsh and broken with exhaustion and pleasure.

She missed how he would wrap his arms around her stomach, nuzzling his nose into her shoulder. She could feel him breathe deeply, and in those moments, she assumed he was content.

Maybe he was.

It obviously wasn't enough to keep him with her.

Kagome took in a sharp breath as she wiped away a stray tear. There was no use crying over it anymore. Inuyasha was-

Hovering over her.

He brought his face close to hers, sniffing the salty scent of her tears.

Suddenly, he brushed his head against hers, making his way into the crook of her neck. She could hear the rumble from his chest, as he pulled her in closer.

He was comforting her, the best way he knew how.

Cautiously, shakily, Kagome reached out her hand to caress the purple stripes on his cheek. To her surprise, he leaned into the palm of her hand, eyes closed.

When he opened his eyes, she was struck by the intensity. Red as blood, focused only on her.

She had seen this look before. Too many times to count.

He was still the Inuyasha she loved. Still the Inuyasha she _craved._

She pushed down the guilt, the voice in her head that nagged at her that she was taking advantage. She wanted him. She wanted to feel his rough hands on her skin; she wanted him to bite her the way he used to. She wanted to taste him, get lost in his essence.

And in this moment, he wanted it too.

Kagome leaned in, pressing her lips against his.

She did not know how long she had with him. For the time being, she was going to claim the man she loved, consequences be damned.


	9. Chapter 9

Kagome moaned as she leaned her head back, further exposing her long neck for the demon. He growled in appreciation, taking it to his full advantage, and descended down her throat, to the juncture that called out to him.

He was rough, yet she could still feel the tenderness. And if she was honest, he had been rougher with her in the past

Not that he had meant to.

Well, not at first.

In those days, they had both been so unexperienced; they had wanted each other so badly, that Kagome didn't mind the occasional scratches as they worked out the kinks. Inuyasha, who was always so careful of his strength with her seemed to forget about the intensity of powers when they first took their relationship to the next level. He couldn't seem to control his excitement.

To be fair, she couldn't either.

Looking back at it now, she felt a fondness for those days. The way he fumbled to undress her, the way his hands shook when he reached out to touch her bare flesh… and the noises he made when they finally came together, melting into one.

It had been perfect and imperfect.

And now here he was, raw with passion and energy, the same eagerness he had had in those days… In every time he took her.

He ran his fingers through her hair, tugging it slightly to control the force of his kiss. He had made quick work of removing her clothes. He had shredded her top in an effort to take it off, so Kagome unfasted the hook to her bra and skirt to move things along more peacefully.

He was rough, but he was tender. It was clear that his instincts were in control, but she had the feeling that she meant something to him. To the Inuyasha she knew.

She couldn't help the guilt that was ripping her apart. He was Inuyasha, in theory, but was he competent? Was he able to make his own decisions, or was this purely an animal in heat?

No, He was more than that.

He was a demon.

She had seen him in this form more than once, but never for this long. Usually she was able to bring him back from the brink by a simple embrace, the sound of her voice, her pleads to return. In those times, he had been wild.

And although she could certainly describe him as that, he was not as crazed as he had been. It was as if… as if he had become accustomed to this state. Kagome ran her fingers down his bare chest, retracing the muscles she had memorized so many times before, feeling the way his breathing hitched at each movement with her own unsteady rhythm.

She had missed him. The sight of him alone was enough to bring her to tears. She felt desperate for him, an unquenchable thirst.

Rational thought was beginning to slip away from her; Inuyasha wrapped one arm around her waist, the other paying homage to her breast. He growled in approval as she leaned her head back and moaned.

Inuyasha breathed in the scent of her, his red eyes becoming more intense as inhaled her lust. He looked dark and dangerous.

And hungry.

That hadn't changed. This part of him still wanted her. She complied anxiously as he moved his head toward her core, awaiting the pleasure he was sure to give.

And for now, that was enough.

For right now, the man she loved, missed, wanted, dreamed of, was here before her. Taunting her, working her in ways only he knew how.

Tomorrow she would deal with the guilt. Tomorrow she would handle the consequences.

Tonight, she had him.

She wouldn't get this opportunity twice.

~.~

"Have you caught their scent yet?" Sango asked as they searched the forest.

"I- I had it. But-" Shippo stuttered, putting his nose to the ground as he had seen Inuyasha do so many times before.

In those days, he would laugh at the half demon. Shippo would proudly claim that his nose was superior, that he didn't need to get low to the dirt to sniff out a scent.

Of course, he hadn't meant a word of it.

He just wanted to test the hanyous limits.

Shippo shook his head.

"Its like he went in a thousand different directions. Like he bounced from one tree to the next."

"He was probably trying to throw off his scent." Miroku chimed in. "By going in various directions, perhaps even back tracking, hes made it so that way we don't know which lead to follow."

"Leave it to him to do something like this!" Sango said furiously.

"Is she safe? Do you think that he's- That that monster has-"

"Inuyasha means Kagome to harm." Miroku said, his eyes harder than Kyou had even seen them.

"But this isn't Inuyasha." Sango said, her voice cold. "That side of him is uncontrollable. Even when he doesn't mean to hurt her, he is unaware of his strength."

"That's one way to put it." Shippo murmured, recalling all the times he had suffered the dog demons wrath. "He was always hurting Kagome."

"Not physically. Not intentionally." Miroku said.

"Why wouldn't she just shoot him?" Kyou rubbed his temples. "She could've gotten a head start, she could have made a run for it. She-"

"Would never fire at Inuyasha." Sango sadly said. Miroku walked over to the slayer, and laid one hand on her shoulder to comfort her. She was a strong woman, and a fierce fighter, but the woman he loved was also tender hearted. She was a woman who needed control, and at the moment, she was out of her element and at the mercy of the unknown.

"We have to have faith. How many times has Inuyasha out his life on the line for Kagome? He cares for her. We have to believe that even in this form, he would protect her."

"Cared for her. He doesn't give a damn about her now!" Shippo protested.

"No one knows why Inuyasha made the choices he did, but I believe that even if he was not in love with her, he would not put her in harms way."

"But can he control that? Youre talking about a rational Inuyasha. Hes-"

Shippos little hands flew to cover his nose, as Kirara let out a whine.

"Where has he gone to?" Kikyo asked, holding his sword by her side.

~.~

She was worn out, exhausted. He hadn't let sleep, and to be truthful, she hadn't wanted to.

It reminded her of the days they spent together away from the group, the moments when they would sneak off together, their mutual need to urgent it could no longer wait.

Kagome was a mess of sweat, tears, passion and joy. She couldn't tell how many hours had passed, if it had been days or only a single night. She was simply there, enjoying the moment with the man she loved.

He turned her over as he took her from behind, mounting her in a very animalistic way. Completely lost in her sensations, it felt like she was in a dream. He sent shivers down her spine as he grunted in her ear, his nose nuzzling her neck, licking and sucking at a particular tender spot.

The haze finally lifted when his sank his fangs into her as he came. Trying to pull away as she screamed, he locked on arm around her stomach to grip her shoulder, holding her in place.

He had her totally in her control as he bit deeper into her skin. She did the only thing she could think of.

She bit back.

She sank her blunt teeth into his flesh, biting down as hard as she was able into the underside of his wrist. The taste of his blood, metallic and bitter seeped into her mouth as she swallowed, struggling to breathe, urging him to let go.

He refused to move. The sharpness of his fangs had seemed to dull it after the initial pierce, but the juncture of her neck and shoulder throbbed incessantly. She didn't want to give up. She wanted to continue to stand her ground, make him release her first, as if this was some game of tug of war.

A game she could never win.

Breathlessly, she released him, her eyes drawn to the teeth marks imprinted in his skin. Even in this situation, she didn't want to cause him pain. Kagome carefully licked the wound, kissing it gently.

To her surprise, he followed suit.

With every stroke of his tongue, the incisions seemed to burn, the warmth spreading down her body to the tips of her toes.

The cave was hot, the air muggy, and everything seemed sluggish. Her eyelids felt heavy as she battled to stay awake.

Inuyasha brought her body close to his, nuzzling his nose into her, the steady rhythm of his breathing lulling to into a daze.

Before she knew it, everything was black.

~.~

"How are you so incompetent?" Kikyo asked, looking over the group.

"How did Inuyasha lose his sword?" Mirkoku asked, trying to side step the question and also quell Sangos rage.

"We encountered crow demons. One of the crows aimed for the sword at his hilt successfully." Kikyou said coolly.

"Crows are known to like shiny objects." Sango said, thinking it over.

"Why was Inuyasha not using his sword?" The fox asked.

The miko narrowed her gaze to better look at the kit.

"He preferred to use other methods."

"Since when does he not want to use his sword? He takes it out any chance he gets!"

"Then perhaps he has changed since you last saw him." She said, her voice firm. "The best course of action is to split into groups."

"Who said you were part of this?" Sango interjected.

"Do not presume that I need assistance tracking that girl and Inuyasha. He is a danger to all in his present state."

"Im not sure splitting up is the best option." How will we know if one party has found them?"

"Lets agree to meet back here by night fall tomorrow." Miroku said, taking the lead. "Kyou, your job is to attend to Kikyo."

"I am not in need of a companion."

"And I do not trust you to bring Kagome back." He said sternly.

"And how should I know that you will give Inuyasha back to me?" She countered.

"Inuyasha left of his own free will. We will not hold him back from what he wants."

"So this will require a certain measure of trust."

"Yes, on both parts."

"Kyou, should you find Kagome with her, be sure to bring her back."

The man looked Mirkoku in the eyes as he nodded. He may not be part of the group, but the monk trusted him more than he did the miko.

But she was right. Inuyasha was a danger like this.

Who knows what he could have done?


	10. Chapter 10

"Inuyasha?" The voice called from over him. "Inuyaaaasha!" It was sweet, the way she said his name, in that sing song way. Had his name ever sounded so warm? Had anyone ever called to him like that before?

"Come on Inuyasha!" She said, grabbing his shoulder to shake him. He could feel the heat of her hand, so delicacy of fingers. A soft touch, a kind one. "We've got to go." She finally said firmly.

The dog demon shook his head. He was relaxing under the shade of a tree; he could feel the bark of the trunk against his back. His eyes were closed, enjoying the warmth from the sun.

"Whats your rush?" He said gruffly. "We've got plenty of time."

"But I want to get back to go to the store before its dark."

"Still plenty of time. Don't see why we have to rush." He shrugged, hands behind his head.

He didn't want her to go.

Back at her house, people would be swarming around them. Her brother would incessantly chatter, her grandfather would tell stories, and her mother would, well, mother.

He didn't mind it. In fact, it was a feeling of family that he had never had before. But he was a jealous demon, and he wanted her for himself.

He could tell that she bent down, lowering herself to his level. The demon took a deep breath before he spoke.

Wild flowers.

"What are you going to give me for it?"

"What?" She asked, rather confused.

"What do I get for leaving now?" He rephrased.

"Ramen." She answered quickly.

He ran his tongue over a sharp fang.

"Nah. Not in the mood for ninja food."

She pressed her palm against his forehead.

"Are you feeling okay?" She asked, a worried tone to her voice. He reached up to snatch her hand, feeling rather bold.

"Wh-What do you want then?" She answered nervously.

He opened his eyes, sitting up straighter. He smiled crookedly, one fang peeking through.

"Heh, I want-"

She bit her lip, as a deep blush spread across her cheeks. Her blue eyes moved up to meet his.

Beautiful.

Just looking at her took his breath away.

"K-K-"

Inuyasha looked down, knitting his brows together.

He couldn't remember.

He couldn't remember!

He knew she was someone important. The name was on the tip of his tongue.

"I-I- I cant-" He looked up, and she was gone.

Everything was.

It was as if he had been plucked from a memory, from a place that he had known. He knew things about this woman, knew about her home and backstory. In the moment, he had known _her_. Fuck he had _seen_ her! But when he tried to say her name it just left.

Disappeared.

The world was coated in black. The sun, the trees, the grass beneath his feet. All gone. He was in a state of darkness.

What alarmed him more was that she was gone.

"Come back… Come back!" He screamed as he ran straight ahead of him.

He clenched his jaw as his body angrily shook.

"Think, think damn it!" He screamed as he hit the sides of his head.

He couldn't even recall what her face had looked like.

Inuyasha wanted her back. He began to feel like the infinite nothingness was closing in on him.

He was having trouble breathing.

"Inuyasha, wait up!" She called to him. It echoed in the distance.

"W-Where are you?!" He screamed back, turning in every direction.

"You might be a demon, but I'm not!" She yelled. "I can't keep up!"

"I-Im standing still! Where are you!?"

"Are you trying to leave me behind on purpose? We're in this together whether you like it or not!"

"I'm not doing anything!" He screamed back, trying to find what direction the voice was coming from.

"Next time we go back to my time, were bringing back my bike. You complain that its useless but I need it for times like these that you pull a hissy fit and just take off!" She screeched, anger in her voice. "I'm human, _remember?_ And these woods creep me out!"

"Im not doing that Kag- AH!"

Inuyasha brought his hands to his head and bent over, the pain throbbing incessantly. It silenced the sound of her voice completely.

Alone.

Again.

He closed his eyes, waiting, waiting for something… anything.

He felt it.

Her hands wrapping around his middle.

"You're not really still upset about him, are you?" She asked as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Feh, like I give a damn about the puny wolf." He found himself saying, slipping into the memory.

She gave a small laugh. Musical and light.

"Good, because it'd be really silly if after all this time you were still jealous of Koga."

"Why the hell should I be friendly with the scum that kidnapped you and for years called you his woman?" He snapped.

It was dark, and they were alone. Kagome had found him in the thick of the forest, using only the stars as her light. Somehow, she had always known where he was.

"But you know its not true. Especially now." She said, hugging his middle reassuringly.

"Keh." He murmured, uncrossing his arms so he could grip her hands. Shivers ran down his spine as she placed soft kisses on his strong back.

"You didn't have to be so nice to him." He finally said, his tone short.

"And you didn't have to be so rude. Koga is a friend."

"A friend that wants you for a mate. You got anymore friends like that Kagome?"

"Inuyasha…" She warned.

"I'll hunt them down myself, I'll-" He turned to look at her, noticing the differences in their figures. He was working himself into a rage, and she had a graceful smile on her face as she shook her head.

"You don't need to be so insecure." She said, raising one hand to his cheek. "You know you're the only one I want, Inuyahsa."

Without hesitation he leaned in, tasting her, thirsty for more. Her turned her in his arms, pulling her close.

His hunger for her was insatiable. No matter how many times he had her, he craved more. Now more than ever.

Inuyasha let one hand fall to her thigh, where he grazed her creamy skin with his claws.

"I want him to know you're MY woman. That every inch of you is MINE." He growled, kissing down her throat. It pulsed against him, his demon screaming _mate, mate, mate_. He could feel his fangs elongate at the ancient urges inside of him. "I want everyone to know you're mine Kago-Ka-K-"

Gone.

Again.

Her scent. Her face. Her body. Her words.

He was left in the darkness.

"COME BACK!" He screamed. "DAMN IT! PLEASE, COME BACK!"

"Inuyasha…" She called, her voice far from him.

And sad.

"I- Im here!"

"Please, come back to me Inuyasha…" He could smell the salt of her tears. He could feel her presence nearby.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so-" He listened as she tried to catch her breath. "I know you're in there Inuyasha. Please come back." He could hear the ragged breathing, the way she struggled with her words. "You know that I love you, Inuyasha. All of you. Your human side, your demon side." He could feel a soft hand brush against his hair. "Its what makes you, you…" She trailed off as he strained to listen, begging her to say more.

"But what I love the best is your hanyou self. That's the Inuyasha I fell in love with. That's the Inuyasha I want. I know you're in there. You have to fight."

Inuyasha looked around him, seeing only the same darkness as before.

"If, if not for me… then for Kikyo. Think about her. Shes looking for you. I know she is. Just like you would be looking for her. You have to come back."

Kikyo? No, not Kikyo.

He didn't want her.

He wanted-

He wanted-

~.~

Kagome stoked the demons hair, watching his face as it twisted and turned into features she had seen in battle. He was fighting within himself, to regain control.

And when he did, he would be gone.

She had no explanation ready, only apologies on her tongue.

But it wouldn't matter, as long as he was inuyasha again.

"If not for me… then for Kikyo." It hurt to say her name. It hurt to acknowledge that that was who he was fighting for. "Think about Kikyo. Shes looking for you. I know she is. Just like you would be looking for her." Kagome closed her eyes, pushing down the pain. "You have to come back." She cried, stroking his cheeks, as the purple streaks began to recede.

He gasped for air, trying to fill his lungs before he spoke.

Inhaling, it was as if he recognized her.

"K-Kagome…" He said weakly, eyes closed.

"I-Im here!"

~.~

It was her.

How could he have forgotten Kagome?

How could he have forgotten the woman he loved, the woman he had hated, the woman he had risked his life to protect?

How could he have walked away from her, even to save her life.

How had he lived without her?

Too long since he last caught her scent of wild flowers. Too long since he last felt the presence of her body next to his.

He was afraid to open his eyes, afraid that his mind was playing tricks on him.

Afraid that if he made any sudden movement, she would disappear, and he would be left in the darkness like before.

"Thank Gods you're okay Inuyasha." She cried, flinging her small body onto his chest. His hands trembled as he moved to hold her.

But she was too fast.

She sat up, apologizing.

"S-Sorry, I just- Im just so glad- I didn't mean to-"

She was stumbing on her words, on her guilt and embarrassment for touching something she no longer thought was hers.

No.

He had to tell her.

He couldn't leave her again. He didn't have it in him.

Slowly, he opened his amber eyes.

"Kagome, I-"

The moment he saw her face, he let out a scream like she had never heard before.

And just like that, he was gone.

~.~

Kagome tied Inuyashas fire rat around her, knotting the sleeves into a belt to hold it in place. He had destroyed most of her clothes, and she needed to gather supplies. She hated to leave him in the state he was in, but she knew if she didn't find wood for the fire, water and food for the both of them, he would be in a worse predicament than he already was.

Something was wrong with him.

After they… after they had…

Kagome hated to even think of it. She felt such a rush of shame whenever she thought about how she had used him in his demon state, because she was hurting and missed him.

It was a double edged sword being near him.

On one hand, she could smell his scent, that woodsy pine, a slight hint of sweat and something else that was just _Inuyasha_. Yet then again, it hurt. She knew he would soon be gone.

He would leave her, just as he did before.

Only this time, he would be furious.

Once they had worn each other out, after he had bit her and she had taken a chunk of flesh out of his own skin, he had settled down into a deep sleep. Honestly, she had no idea why he had acted that way, biting her so deeply. Sure, in the past he had nibbled, and so had she. It had been exciting. And he always seemed to love that spot on her neck, knowing it was pleasurable for her.

But it never broke the skin.

The only thing she could reason out was that with his demon half in control, he had less of a handle on his strength. Heck, she had to bite him herself to get him to release her!

Once he had fallen asleep, a strange enough feat in itself, he had brought her body close to his. After a while she had tried to wiggle away, yet his iron clad arms refused to let her leave.

It was only when she noticed that the purple streaks on his cheeks had begun to fade that she was able to remove herself. She knew that it was her time to try and get to him.

Here she was, in the middle of nowhere, no supplies at hand, guilt making her nauseous, and a sick demon in a cave.

Thankfully, a sick _half demon_.

He had hardly muttered out more than her name, when he brought his clawed hands to his head and screamed. Her own hands were raw and open from cuts she sustained trying to stop him from hurting himself.

One thing at a time.

She had to focus on one thing at a time.

As Kagome reached down to pick up a branch suitable for firewood, a chill went down her spine.

She didn't have to look up to know that Kikyou was standing in front of her.


	11. Chapter 11

Kagome looked up to find the cold, dead eyes of Kikyo on her; She tried to swallow the lump in her throat, her heart pounding out of her chest. She began to tug anxiously to bring the hem of Inuyashas fire rat lower, suddenly very aware of how revealing her current attire was… of how she was the other woman wearing Inuyashas clothes.

She took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the crisp air.

' _Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay strong.'_

Despite her best efforts, she couldn't stop her voice from shaking.

"Ki-kikyo… I-"

"What have you done?" She demanded, her voice icy.

"I-I-"

Kagome felt sick.

What excuse did she possibly have?

She had taken pleasure and used Inuyasha to fill the void in her heart. She had taken him in his raw, demon form, and instead of refusing him as she should have, she had embraced his lust and gave back just as much as he.

She could feel the blood racing in her veins, her heart beating in her ears. And through all of it, she felt faint.

She felt wrong.

She had just been a partner in adultery, in sins that Inuyasha himself did not know he committed, and stood brazenly in front of Kikyo, the one that the hanyou loved.

The one that Inuyasha had actually chose.

If he had been in his right mind…

If he had been in control of himself, of his senses…

She knew in her heart that the scenario that had played out would have never happened.

She would have never laid in his arms. He would have never taken her with such pleasure, such passion… Kagome felt sick.

"What have you done?" She repeated, her voice stern and cold.

"He… I…" Kagome bit her lip. She saw the miko slant her eyes, and set her jaw. "I-"

"Enough." Kyo stepped in. How had she not noticed him before? Had she been so focused on Kikyo that the world around her ceased to matter?

"This is none of your concern." The priestess said, turning her head to give the man a pointed look.

"I have to admit, Im not sure whats going on here… but I know enough."

"It hardly matters what you know. It is not your place to speak." Kikyo said.

"Kyo-" She turned to look at him, to stop him from angering the dead priestess any more than she already was… any more than she rightfully deserved to be.

He stepped forward, pulling Kagome behind him, facing the miko.

"When I was with Kagome, that _beast_ came raging at us. If you think that Kagome could have done anything to stop him, you've lost your senses."

Kagome looked up at the man who was doing his best to protect her. Before, she had viewed him as a friend, as someone who had not been able to keep up with her group, although able in many ways.

But at that moment, she realized that he was a _man_.

Suddenly her state of dress made her even more self-conscious. The thought raced through her mind of what Inuyasha would do if he saw this.

No, he would not do anything. Not the half demon with the amber eyes.

It wasn't her he loved. It was only his lustful demon half.

"You are right. You are not sure of anything here." She gave a small smirk. "You are unaware of many things."

"I'm taking Kagome with me." He said with finality. Kikyo tilted her head to look at her.

"Kyou- I- I can't yet- Inuyasha-"

"And where is he now?" She asked. "Where is Inuyasha?"

Kagome looked over her shoulder.

"And how is he?" Kikyo took a deep breath. "What has he said?"

"He was in his demon form the whole time… He woke up… and said my name…"

Kagome wasn't sure, but she thought she saw a flash of fear cross the perfectly sculpted clay face.

"…And then he fell asleep. He wont wake up."

Kikyo exhaled the breath she had been holding as her lips turned up in a small, tight smile.

"Leave."

Kyo nodded, and began to guide Kagome by the arm.

"I cant go!" She turned away. "I can't go until I know hes okay."

"That is not your concern." Kikyo said simply.

"Yes it is." Kagome could feel her anxiety rising, could feel her nerves pushing her to a place she feared. She didn't want to break down in tears in front of the miko. She wanted to show her a strong front, wanted to show her that she could hold her own.

But at this point, she was no longer sure she could keep any type of composure.

"Whether you like it or not, Inuyasha is important to me. Whether he cares about me, or loves me, or even despises me… He is someone I care about. It doesn't matter if its one sided. You can both be angry with me after. I cant leave until I know hes going to be okay."

"You care so much for him, do you?" She raised her brow as she asked.

Kagome nodded her head and she swallowed the lump in her throat.

"You being near him is what has caused him to be ill" Kikyo said with a small laugh.

"W-what?" Kagome must have been hearing things? How could that even be possible? She had spent years with Inuyasha, and never once had he lost consciousness from being near her.

Sure, in the past he had made comments about her scent, but that had been so long ago…

"He has had his memories erased." Kikyo said. Kagome was sure her heart skipped a beat.

"What? How is that-? Why?"

"Because of you, girl. Because he felt such guilt from his tryst with you… guilt that he had betrayed me. He asked me to wipe away the memories of you, to bring him back to the times when we were together. To give us a fresh start, I complied."

"So he doesn't remember me?"

"No."

"O-or Miroku… Sango? Shippo?"

"He remembers nothing of that. He does not even remember the betrayal set forth by Naraku."

"That's not possible! He said my name."

"You being near him has caused him to dig deep in the recesses of his mind, calling out repressed memories. Youre physical presence is making him ill. He recalled you, something unpleasant, and now his body and mind are paying the price."

Kagome sunk to the ground, fight the urge to vomit. It was all too much. All too harsh to hear after they- after she-

"I must go and check on Inuyasha. To cleanse his mind twice is dangerous, but I'm sure he would prefer it to what _you_ have done." Kikyo took a step towards her reincarnation.

"You've gone far enough." Kyo said, cutting her off.

"I only need her garment."

Kyou raised a brow as he looked over his shoulder.

"Inuyasha will notice that it is missing. It is essential that he has it back."

"She has nothing to wear. Cant you get it later?"

"No." The priestess answered coldly.

"Whatever has taken place between all of you, I doubt any man would want her to walk around unclothed." Kyou responded.

"Luckily, I am not a man."

Kagome watched as Kyou shrugged out of his robe and handed it to her, his back turned the entire time. She felt a sense of shame she had never known in her entire life.

She had thought the times that Inuyasha would take off in the middle of the night to chase after Kikyo, the times that she had spent considering and reconsidering her position… the time that he had left her for Kikyo when they had been-

Even those times had not made her feel as low as when he left. She had thought that had been the worst pain, the gut wrenching sense of shame. As she disrobed Inuyashas fire rat and replaced it with Kyous simple cloth, she rubbed her fingers over the brutal mark the hanyou had given her.

As Kyou handed the red jacket to Kikyo, he paused to speak.

"I didn't know you were capable of being so vile." He said. "Where is your humanity?"

The man could not see the slight crack in her composure. He could not know how deeply the words shook her.

"Do not come near him again." The priestess said. "Should you cross paths, you must choose to turn the other way. You will only bring him to a place he does not wish to be, and a pain that I cannot guarantee I can mend."

Kagome turned her blue eyes towards the miko.

"Do I have your word?" She asked coldly.

Kagome pressed her lips together as she fought back the tears.

"Yes."

~.~

Kikyou watched as the pair walked away, the cloth of the fire rat still draped in her arms.

She felt her composure breaking as the figures became farther and farther away.

The question still burned in her mind, grasping at her heart.

 _Where has her humanity gone?_

Where indeed.

She was no more a human than she was alive.

She was a displaced soul, brought back by evil means and left to rot with her anger and sense of injustice. She felt such a multitude of emotions and yet… nothing at all. She was a mixture of hot and cold, angry and lethargic. She had a feeling that she would never know a sense of peace as long as she roamed the Earth.

He had called her vile.

Vile.

That was not the impression she had wanted to leave that man with.

Although she had not engaged in as much chatter as he had, she had enjoyed spending time with someone who did not look at her as an object of revolution, a being to be feared.

And now he did.

Kikyo did not enjoy showing people this side to her… this side she had not had before Naraku had schemed his way into her world.

She was so far from the miko she had once been. Years ago, when she had been righteous and pure, she would have shot an arrow through her clay chest without a second thought.

She could spot a dark being without even trying.

And she knew enough to know what was brewing inside of her.

As she knelt down beside the hanyou, she let out a deep breath.

The first time she had performed her ritual, she had done so out of fear. Inuyasha was on the verge of leaving her. She was not a fool; it was torment being in her company, because he missed hers so terribly.

Now she did so for completely different reasons.

She needed someone to think she was pure.

She needed someone to see her for who she was, not for what she currently is.

Inuyasha knew her back then. Loved her.

He had been her hope before, in so many ways.

He would have to be so again.

She was unsure what the result of this spell would be; he had already shown signs of reawakening since his episode with Kagome. She did not know if it would last, how long the spell would hold… or even if it would do damage.

But it was a chance she needed to take.

~.~

"Kagome…" he called for her. "Kagome- come back-"

"Shh. Im right here Inuyasha." He heard her voice. Soothing. Loving.

He opened his black eyes to see her blue ones staring down at him, black hair cascading around her shoulders.

He took a quick glance of his surroundings.

He was in her room, it was night. Late. He could feel the soft material from her blankets against his bare skin.

He was in her bed, naked. With her. Flesh against flesh. She gave him a soft smile as she moved his black bangs from his eyes.

"Are you okay?" She asked with a gentle smile.

He was human tonight. He had followed her though the well, unable to find peace without her nearby. She had not left in anger, as she had done so many times in the past; she left to attend to her duties in her time, a planned visit that happened more regularly than he cared for.

He simply couldn't wait for her to make her way to his side. Despite the new moon approaching, he leapt through the well without so much as a word to his companions. The fox could sniff out his steps and fill the rest in later.

He had come through the other side to find her family gone; something about procuring an artifact in a nearby town, but needing to spend the week.

He jumped through her window into her room, trying to find her as his senses began to dull. The sound of running water caught his attention.

Feh, it was just like his wench to run to the bath any opportunity she got.

He opened the door, already hungry for her. He was insatiable for Kagome. Never sated in his need.

Apparently in his human form, it took a toll on him.

He brought her body close to his, placing kisses on her shoulder, up towards her neck, paying attention to the spot that called for him. He longed to sink his teeth into her, but settled for a nip.

It felt like it was so long since he had last seen her.

It felt like she was about to slip away.

He closed his eyes as he yawned, stretching his arms over head.

And just like that, she was gone.

He looked around as the things slowly started to disappear.

"Kagome!" He screamed over and over again until he was breathless. He felt lightheaded, dizzy.

Who was he looking for?

Where was he?

"Inuyasha?" The voice called out to him.

He knew it.

Gods, he longed to hear her call his name. Yet something seemed off. What was going on? Why was she calling to him, worry lacing her tone? Why was he in a state that she should find him like this?

He opened his eyes, the brightness burning.

"K-Kikyo?" He asked. "Whats- What happened?" He breathed. "Wh-where are we?"

"What is the last thing you remember, Inuyasha?"

The hanyou closed his eyes as he sifted through his hazy memories.

"I- I think… I think it was the docks." He answered as he furrowed his brow.

The miko smiled.

"There was an explosion…"


	12. Chapter 12

Inuyasha closed his eyes, attempting to block the light. It had been difficult for him to travel by day since the explosion. He had been suffering from headaches that brought the hanyou to his knees. Sometimes literally. The pain would hit him out of nowhere, sometimes when he was jumping from the high branches of the trees. The onset of the pain was so brutal it would shock him to his core, causing him to lose balance. Ever since that damn explosion the world hadn't made sense.

 _She_ hadn't made sense.

Flashes of her. Bits and pieces. Only scraps of the woman he was not sure was real or figment.

But that was the case with many things.

He swore he heard voices of people, humans and demons alike, that were nowhere near him. Scenes of blood and loss, laughter and comradery all pooled together into a mix of images that he was unable to sort through.

One moment he saw Kikyo, her body made of dirt and clay, the next he saw her red soaked robes as she pointed her arrow towards him. He had done that? Had he used his claws to kill the woman he loved?

Loved?

Love?

He didn't know.

He didn't fucking know anything.

How had 50 years passed? How could he lose a gap of 50 fucking years!

For a demon a few decades may seem petty, but when he thought about it in human years…

They would all be dead.

All those little children that had stuck so close to Kikyos side, singing songs and only slightly fearful of the demon of the shadows, reassured by the kind priestess calling his name.

Dead.

The parents that he watched as he took cover in the trees, the relationships of the humans he could never understand, never get to know… all those villagers… the last concrete memories that he had..

All gone.

Everyone of them was probably dead.

And things had changed in the world. Things were different.

He felt old and outdated.

Inuyasha dug his claws into the Earth, trying to curb his frustration. He felt so fucking useless! He had to be told constantly what was happening. He would often have to ask the miko by his side what they were doing, which direction they were headed. He couldn't keep track of things going on in the present.

His mind was too busy trying to unravel the mysteries in his mind.

Even when he tried to focus, tried to push all of his memories or delusions or whatever the hell it was, to the side, he still found himself out of touch with reality and living in shaded hallucinations with the unknown woman.

Beautiful. Caring. Kind.

Loud. Angry. Demanding. Pushy.

Insatiable. Hungry. Lover.

She was so full of contradicting emotions he couldn't keep track. No wonder he couldn't make sense of her.

He couldn't make sense of anything.

Why they were on the road, why he carried around such senseless objects, a dull sword and fucking beads. Why he felt soothed by the scent of wild flowers.

He couldn't remember much about himself. Small details slipped away from him. When he thought about the last things he knew to be true, the events at the docks… he felt like he was no longer that person anymore.

He had reminded why the hell they were chasing down demons for those shards. He could remember the jewel… vaguely… He could remember it was important. But for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why it was his responsibility to piece it together.

Kikyo said that because she was charged with protecting the jewel in life, it was still her duty to do so in death.

That's all their days were about, that fucking jewel. Just like before.

He didn't care. It wasn't his fault the damn thing shattered.

Yet for some reason, he felt like he could _picture_ it breaking into a thousand sparkling pieces. He felt the anger from it, the urge to kill the person responsible.

 _I 'll just drop her from my back as soon as-_

Inuyasha shook his head.

It was like a memory.

Feh. He just had an over active imagination.

That's what Kikyo said anyway.

When he asked questions, trying to connect the dots, she avoided answering. When he had trouble remembering why they came to the cave, she gave evasive remarks.

She told him that he was delusional. That his imagination was running away with him, and that they would be better served if he focused his energy on tracking demons instead of creating fantasies.

Since then, he kept his questions to himself. When what seemed like a memory would surface, he would chant to himself that it was made up. A result of the blast. Too many hits to the head. It became his daily mantra.

It had been several weeks since he had woken up from the blast, a ringing in his ears like he had never heard before, the stench of the cave strong enough to make him dizzy. It smelled of strong herbs, rotten food, sweat and those damn things Kikyo used to cleanse an area. It did nothing to cover up the strong aroma of death that penetrated the cave. The mix of everything was so intense he could hardly pick up his own scent.

He had been recently bathed, his hair and body washed in a strong soap. He faintly thought this wasn't the kind he liked, that he preferred the other ones better, but couldn't remember what other soaps he could have been referring to. Kikyo had taken care of him, stripping his clothes to launder them, and to wipe away the debris and dirt he had acquired from the blast.

He blushed a deep red that rivaled his fire rat.

Kikyo had undressed him. Kikyo had seen him naked.

For some reason, behind the embarrassment, he felt anger.

As if she had no right to touch him.

As if his own body was forbidden, claimed.

He had told her that she didn't need to go as far as bathing him, that he could take care of himself.

It felt familiar.

Just not with _her._

Feh. Like someone else would have gone out of their way for him. Hes lucky he wasn't left for dead.

She replied by saying that she was used to it. She was a priestess, after all. She had done far more for far worse a person, she said. Inuyasha couldn't help but notice the dark look in her eyes.

It had been weeks since then. He was still missing pieces of his memory, still confused over the course of events.

He should have been happier to be with Kikyo. Truly, this is what he had wanted all along, wasn't it? To be with the priestess who showed him compassion?

But when he was with her, something boiled inside of him, clawed at his soul. He felt a guilt simply by being in her presence that he couldn't identify.

Was it for being a hanyou? For staying in her company when she deserved better than him?

Inuyasha tensed as the thoughts ran through his mind, then brought his hand up to examined it.

Clawed. Dangerous. Demon. Hanyou.

What was she doing with him anyway? Hadnt she said that she wanted him as a human, not as a demon? He was always so mindful of his features that made him different, careful not to draw attention to them. He-

 _He saw her delicate hand, small, fragile, reaching out to him. She took his hand up to her lips, plump and full, and gently kissed his claws, working her way up to his knuckles. It was a blurry, crude outline of a woman, but when she rested her cheek against his hand, he could see the upturn of her lips into a soft smile._

He looked down at his hands. There was no one near him, no mystery woman, yet she had come to him again.

She would find her way to him in the most unlikely of ways. When he closed his eyes, trying to catch a moment of peace; when he passed by hot springs, making a mental note of the route for a person that didn't exist. She came to him in the night, when he was lonely and starved with lust, taunting him in ways he did not know were possible, always bringing him to the brink, only to be forcefully pulled from the sweet, warm imagery.

Shakily, he jammed his hands into his fire rat, both eager and afraid for the scenes to continue. As he adjusted his hands, he made contact with the scar on his wrist.

It burned when he touched it, the blood in his veins calling to him.

" _Find her. Find her. Find her."_

~.~

"Kagome!" The fox demon cried. "You're back! I thought you weren't coming home for another 3 days?" he asked excitedly. "Good thing I've got this demon nose or I would have never known you were at the well!"

Kagome tried her best to plaster a smile on her face. She shouldn't burden Shippo with her problems.

"Kagome… you don't look so good." Shippou said worriedly. "Are you sick? Do you have a fever?" He asked.

She was sure she did not have a fever, but the kit was right.

She was not well.

Day by day, she began to feel worse. She felt drained, as if all of her energy was slipping away from her. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she had been shocked.

Pale skin, white as paper. Her eyes looked sunken, she had lost weight. She didn't look like herself anymore.

She looked ill.

Kagome shook her head, with a smile. She could push past this.

"Well, I was planning on staying longer in my time, but I decided I wanted to get back on the road right away."

"Are you sure?" The fox frowned. "That's all you've wanted to do lately. Shards shards shards. You never want to play anymore! Maybe you should take a few days to rest."

Kagome reached down to pick up the kit. She hugged him close to her and smiled.

"Im sorry Shippou. I promise I will make time for just the two of us, okay?"

"Are you sure youre okay?"

"Im sure." She smiled.

"Okay!" He exclaimed. "Im gathering some herbs for Kaedae, let me go finish that first."

"Sounds good to me." Kagome replied, putting Shippou down.

"Oh, Kagome! I forgot to tell you!" He gestured for her to come closer, as if he had top secret information to disclose. She obliged by bending down to his level.

"I heard Kyou talking the other night. He wanted to talk to you as soon as you came back. You know what that means, right?"

Kagome could only guess. Ever since the… incident… he had refused to go home.

When they… he… found her, she was wearing Inuyashas fire rat. When the miko demanded she strip herself of the garment, Kyou supplied her with a robe of his own. After she heard what Kikyo had said… that Inuyasha could not, _would not_ remember her… it was as if something inside of her had shattered. Snapped.

She had always held a hope inside of her that he would realize his mistake. That she would look up, and see his figure dashing from the trees, eager to remedy the situation. She dreamed of the time he would come to her, rough and demanding, declaring that she belonged to him.

But those were dreams.

But that had been enough to keep her going. Enough to kindle the small flame of hope.

Knowing that Inuyasha felt guilt from their union put a completely different spin on things. Their time together had been false. She had thought, hell, at times she had known! That he loved her. But when she looked back on it with sober eyes, she could see things clearly.

He had liked her, never loved.

He was damaged. He was sad.

He needed her. For a multitude of reasons, he needed her.

But not in the same ways she needed him.

And now that he was with the woman he loved, he could not stand the thought that he had betrayed her. That he had given into his primal urges, and laid with the willing flesh available to him.

She was a regret.

Whats worse, the very presence of her caused him pain. She could never be near him again.

She had known that with their separation she would not be able to engage in the same activities, share the close proximity that they once had. But at the very least, she thought she may cross paths. She thought she could exchange pleasantries.

With this, they couldn't even be friends.

From this point on, she was a literal stranger.

Shippou was right. She had been determined more than ever to find the shards.

She had to put as much distance between her and Inuyasha as she could.

And she had the ability to put 500 years between them.

As much as it would hurt, once the jewel was completed she would go through the well for the final time, and close the chapter on her feudal life forever. She briefly debated if she should stay home, leaving her friends and obligations behind in the past. But she couldn't leave things that way. She couldn't say her final goodbyes to everyone knowing Naraku was still on the loose.

There was also another reason she had to stay, although she hadn't disclosed it to the group.

Ever since she and Inuyasha had… well, ever since that time, she had begun to feel an awareness of his proximity to her, and when they were far apart, it manifested into an almost physical ache. It was as if her sense of him had been dulled in his absence, and when her body knew his once again, it was as if her senses had suddenly expanded. She had been so long without the dog demon that his imprint on her had faded, dulled. She had never experienced this before, not even when he left the first time, but she theorized that her powers had something to do with it. As if she her body had to be aware of where he was, to hunt him down on her own, because he would never do so again. She felt a pull towards his direction, as if she was tethered to him by some invisible rope that was constantly dragging her closer towards the hanyou. And when she resisted it, the almost magnetic force, the pain throbbed inside of her, burning her body from the inside out.

Yet she was thankful. At least she knew what areas to avoid. If she could go against the her body's call to him, she could put as much distance between them as possible.

The ache that she felt was almost soothing to her. She may not be able to understand the guilt that Inuyasha felt, but she was struggling to manage her own. The pain that their distance caused was just a small fraction of what she deserved.

How could she take advantage of him? How could she let him do those things, knowing that he wouldn't do so had he been in his right mind? How dare she use his body, use his lust, because she missed him, because she was in pain. Her friends tried to assure her that she had done nothing wrong, that she in fact was the victim in the situation.

How wrong they were. How little they understood.

She was the demon here, not him.

If she could complete the jewel, she could get to her world faster. The pain she felt there, so far in space and time from the hanyou was immense. But it gave her a sense of safety knowing that she could protect him from her, never having to repeat the mistakes she made again.

Kagome sighed as she adjusted the large yellow bag over her shoulder. Time traveling was beginning to take a toll on her. That he to be why she was feeling so sick.

Time travel and a broken heart. Never a good combination.

Kagome smiled as she waved at Kyou, who was walking towards her.

"You've come back early." He said kindly.

"Mm." She said simply with a small smile.

"Kagome, are you ill? You look pale! Let me-"

"Im fine Kyou. Don't make such a fuss." She said, swatting away his hand.

"Its my job to make a fuss, Kagome." He insisted.

"Kyou," Kagome said, letting out a deep sigh, "I keep telling you, what happened is not your fault. It has nothing to do with you."

"And I keep telling you that it doesn't matter what you say. Ive vowed to take responsibility for you."

"How romantic." Kagome said rolling her eyes. "Really Kyou, Im okay. I know you feel guilty because we were arguing when Inuyasha-" Kagome paused, pressing her lips together. "Kyou, if Inuyasha was looking for me, he would have found me no matter what. It had nothing to do with the place or the person. In fact, if he had found me in our group instead of alone, who knows how it might have ended."

"Youre a good woman Kagome. Its not just because I feel that I played a part. I've been with you for quite some time, and Ive watched how you suffer. When I found you…I promised myself I would never let you feel that way again. Im going to protect you." He said gently, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Kyou- I cant-"

"You don't have to say anything Kagome. Im not saying we have to get married tomorrow. Its going to take time. "

"Listen- I-" Kagome bit her bottom lip as she looked for the right words to say. It was a delicate situation.

In the days that followed her return to the group, Kyou had looked at her with unease. He would start to say something, and the words would die on his tongue. Finally on the third night, he worked up his courage to speak to her.

He asked to speak to her privately, away from the others. Sango waited for Kagome to confirm that it was indeed fine, and she entered the dark woods with him.

He explained to her that he had gone through this before. That he was the oldest of his fathers children, but that had not always been so. He had had a sister, only a year older than himself, who he had loved dearly. They were inseparable, until she became a woman. She had caught the eye of one of the village men. He was strong, handsome and had a certain charisma. He was also older, but infatuated with his sister. When he asked for permission to wed his sister, no more than 15 at the time, his father had agreed and she was more excited than he had ever seen her.

His brother in law had good standing in the village, and an important role in their community. That's why she never said anything. Kyou had been largely unaware of what was going on; he had gone to a neighboring village to help his uncle work the land for the season. In just a short span of months his lively sister, who loved to laugh and sing, who could bring joy to any situation, was no longer the girl he knew.

She was worn and beaten down. She had bruises on her body, old scars and healing wounds. Frail and weathered, she looked much older than her years. She looked at him with such a sadness in her eyes. Such defeat.

He was furious no one had intervened. Enraged no one had sent for him.

But his father said with regret, it was not their place. She was _his_ husband now.

He fought with her husband. Cursed at his father. Made a scene in front of the bystanders who let his innocent sister turn into such a sad state. He was home, and he was going to take her back.

He had come too late.

The shame, or the abuse… or not seeing a way out… Kyou would never really know. He could only speculate why she took her own life.

He couldn't save her.

Kyou knew somewhere in the back of his mind, that she was a danger to herself. The moment he had looked at her, saw the despair in her eyes… He knew…

Seeing Kagome brought it all back.

Seeing that look again, the one that tore at him, haunted his dreams… it brought him back to the place he was all those years ago.

He vowed that he would save Kagome.

He would take responsibility for her. Save her.

He wasn't going to let a second woman be destroyed. Not if he could help it.

Kagome bit her lip as she struggled with the right thing to say.

Kyou smiled at her kindly.

"Im not going anywhere Kagome." He said as he took the yellow bag. "Better start getting used to it."

~.~


	13. Chapter 13

Inuyasha sat with his back pressed against a rock, his shoulders tense and jaw set.

She told him not to fucking peek.

HIM.

Like he had any interest in some scrawny, loud mouthed bitch.

It wasn't enough that they had to stop what seemed like every few minutes to rest (although if Inuyasha was being honest, she was probably doing well, for a weakling. But it didn't mean it wasn't damn annoying) She complained she needed the break because her body wasn't used to walking around so much.

He scoffed at her, calling her weak and lazy. She retorted by telling him that in her world people didn't walk for miles on end.

To solve the problem and end her whining he had picked her up and thrown her slim body over his shoulder like a sack of rice. Which proved to be a mistake.

She protested so loudly that the hanyou had to flatten his ears against his head to deflect the high pitched racket. Dropping her to the ground he let out a frustrated growl. There was no fucking winning with this woman! When she stood up to dust off her skirt she sent him a look that would have sent shivers down a lesser mans spine.

But he wasn't a _human_ man and he didn't give a damn if she was upset. He wanted to get on his way and find those shards. And he fucking needed her help to do it.

The pace they were at seemed to be slower than a crawl. She complained that she was unaccustomed to such physical exercise, but he was suffering as well. His body was burning to run; He wanted to leap from tree to tree, feel the wind on his face and the muscles in his legs tense as he pushed off from the Earth below him.

She might be exhausted, but he was as well. It took significant effort to ignore his demonic needs. The hanyou felt anxious with pent up energy. This is why it was better to travel alone.

Feh, not like he had ever had a choice.

The only time she seemed to show any real effort was when they neared the hot spring. At first he cracked a smile, pleased that the wench had finally decided to exert some enthusiasm for the hunt.

But no, she wasn't trying to accomplish their goal or piece together the jewel _she_ freaking demolished. Nope. Not his traveling companion.

She was fucking running towards the hot spring, pep finally in her step and little sobs of "Thank Kami" as she stripped off her shoes.

Inuyasha stood with his jaw agape as his brows knitted together in utter shock. It was one thing to stop because her muscles were sore. It was another thing entirely for her to take a fucking spa trip!

"In case you've forgotten, we didn't come here for a damn vacation." He snarled as he stalked towards her.

The woman turned to him, anger written all over her features.

"I'm getting in that hot spring, Inuyasha." She said, her voice stern and unyielding.

"Like Hell you are!" He shot back.

He expected her to yell, stomp her feet or throw a fit. Instead, her calm voice was what made him stand to attention.

"Inuyasha, I have been following you around, doing my best to keep up. I have left everything behind me- my home, school, friends. My entire life is on the other side of that well, all to help _you_. I have been wearing the same clothes for days, my shoes are starting to fall apart and I have blisters on my feet. I'm tired and I'm dirty- especially since you decided to drop me in the dirt- and my legs are sore. I am getting into that hot spring."

Her eyes were ablaze, burning into him as she stood her ground. If he didn't know better, he would have sworn she herself was a half demon- for a moment he thought he saw her blue orbs turn red.

"You don't have long." He said with a snarl as he crossed his arms and turned his head.

"I will take as long as I take." She replied over her shoulder, walking closer to the water.

Inuyasha started to walk away as he heard her call out one last time.

"You better not look Inuyasha! I mean it- no peeking!"

So there he sat, fuming behind the bushes as the determined wench took her freaking bath.

His ears picked up the sound of her contented sigh as she entered the water, the way her breathing changed as she relaxed.

He suddenly felt a little guilty. Maybe he was pushing her too hard. She was a human after all.

But he had watched plenty of village women work hard in the fields, tending their garden and running their home. Many of them did work that rivaled their male counter parts.

Inuyasha frowned as he thought about the strangers he had observed from high in the trees. Those women had always seemed so… hearty. They had never known a way of life other than hard labor.

She wasn't like that. She had to grow accustomed to the way things were here. Sure, she wasn't rutting around in the fields picking herbs, but she was doing more than she was used to. He could admit that much.

He didn't have to look hard at her for confirmation. She had the body of a woman who never had to do more than necessary, a person who lived a life of privilege. Her thighs toned, but not overly so. She had curvaceous hips that flared nicely, accented by a narrow waist. Her flesh supple… and soft, from what he remembered. When she would get on his back he would take her naked thighs in his rough hands to hold her for support. He blushed at the memory, even then relishing in the act of holding her body in such an intimate way. She might be a pain in the ass- and annoying and loud and strange- but couldn't deny that when he touched her, he reacted.

Feh, well of course he would. She was a woman. He was a man. Nothing more to it than that.

Inuyasha ran a clawed hand through his hair in frustration. He was getting carried away with himself. She just seemed more appealing right now because he was forced to hide, while she was mere feet away, the water warming her bare body. And she told him _not_ to look, which would make him all the more interested too. Nothing was as desirable as forbidden fruit. He told himself confidently that when she emerged, she would be the same scrawny girl from before, not an embellished fantasy.

Even he wasn't buying it.

He might call her scrawny, or ugly or tell her that she reeked so badly the stench was nauseating- but in truth he meant very little of it.

Fuck, he meant none of it.

He couldn't help the words that escaped his mouth; his first instinct was to shut her down before she could get at him. Demons did not want to keep his company and humans would flee at the very sight of him. Normal, beautiful women didn't just easily accompany a half breed all over Japan. She would leave soon enough. It was better that he distanced himself from her- dull her features and attributes rather than acknowledge them before he got in over his head.

He wondered if she would know if he looked. One peek wouldn't really hurt, would it? Inuyasha slowly turned his gaze towards his right shoulder, daring to look towards the spring. He caught a glimpse of the figure, her raven hair tied up high on her head, the bounty of her breasts partially submerged. She looked like a water goddess, beautiful and serene in her element. Entranced, he shifted to get a better view. It took him half a beat before he realized he was being brought to the ground by the pull of the beads planted around his neck.

"Sit! Sit! Sit! SIT INUYASHA-"

" _INUYASHA!"_ She demanded, calling him back to the present. He exhaled deeply as he looked up at the woman before him.

"Kikyo? Wh-what is it?" He asked sluggishly. Although he answered to her call, he had not given her his attention. He was trying to hold on to pieces of the memory, trying to gather bits before they fled away.

He was confused. Disoriented.

He could no longer tell what was happening around him. One minute he was sitting on a tree branch, the sun high in the sky, the next he was protectively watching a group slumber on the ground below. When he would come to, as if awoke from the memory, he would find himself doing something completely different than he last remembered. He had been idle in a tree, and then would be marching along the road with the priestess. Unaware, he was going through the motions.

The scenes came to him more frequently than ever, lasting for longer each time. Part of him worried that he would eventually slip into this madness and never return to his waking life. He wasn't entirely sure he minded.

He felt far more comfortable in the mystery womans presence than he did with Kikyo. He craved the times his delusions would come again, hungry for the moments they shared intimately.

From what had figured, they had been companions, possibly looking for the jewel. He couldn't be sure of the time line, but he was certain that at one point, they hated each other, and at another he loved her from the bottom of his soul. He wondered if that was the progression of their relationship- for they had had one- or if they had been lovers first and enemies last.

The latter would certainly explain why he was with Kikyo and not with _her_.

Of course, there was always the possibility she was never real. That she was not a tangible person; that he had not drawn her small frame into his arms and his lips had never sought hers hungrily.

He would let the memories wash over him, the way she touched him in small, meaningless ways, and he- comfortable enough to reach out in turn. He marveled at the normalness they shared. With his clawed hand he would tuck a stray hair behind her ear, she responding with a slight blush and smile. Never a fear that he turn those deadly weapons on her; instead she confidently would reach out to grab his lethal limb, urging him to come her way.

He had been trying to recover a memory of the two of them. Alone, uninterrupted. He could remember the stream from the spring, the clean scent mingled with that of their coupling. She sat behind him, carefully combing his silver hair, parting sections to pull into a braid. He liked the feeling of her grooming him, the brush pulling gently on his locks, her tender movements and gentle fingers mindful of his ears. When she finished she wrapped her arms around his middle. Tiny, delicate. He placed his large palm over her knuckles as he turned to look at her.

And she was gone. What had they been doing before that, what was he about to do next? What had she looked like? Had she blue eyes or grey? Her body and shape became a blurred figure in his mind, shadowed and mysterious.

He had been trying to piece together the fragments when he was catapulted into the memory by the rock. They tumbled on top of each other, layers and layers of a life he couldn't remember.

He looked up at the miko who was standing above him, a disapproving frown on her face.

"You ask what?" She said, her voice was cold and stern as always, but lately she had expressed agitation with him. The more he was pulled into his memories, the less control he had of his present, the more dissatisfied she became.

"Sorry," He murmured. "I didn't hear what you said. What's the matter?" he asked, trying to reconcile. In general, he was a nuisance to keep around, a hanyou a thorn in anyone's side, but he knew now he was a poor excuse for company.

Kikyo sighed, causing him to flatten his ears.

"Are you ready to continue? You have been transfixed on the dirt for long enough."

"Y-yeah." He stammered, rising with embarrassment.

"Good." She said, picking up her bow. "We have made far too little progress as of late. Inuyasha, you must focus on the task at hand. Isnt it important to you?! You must keep your head out of the clouds if we are to defeat Nar-"

"Nar?" He questioned. He had heard that before, he was sure of it. Maybe if he dug deeper, focused on that word he could-

"Never mind it Inuyasha. Do you have somewhere you would rather be? Something you would rather be doing?"

"No." He answered hesitantly.

"Then I suggest you take your role seriously. Whatever it is that has you so deep in thought can wait until after the jewel is completed."

But even as she delivered her reprimanding words, the hanyou had tuned her out. Laughter had filled his ears, musical and light. He caught sight of the field before him, and a sudden image of the dark haired beauty appeared, running toward him breathless, chest heaving and her smile wide, a small fox demon close behind.

~.~

Kagome rubbed the scar on her neck, closing her eyes as the pain seared from her touch. When she had gone home, she had inspected it for infections, finding no trace of malignancy. To be cautious she had applied disinfectant and creams, an unusual precaution for her. Inuyasha was always so gentle with her; At first he had been terrified to touch her, his hands shaky both from nerves and fear of his claws. For a while he treated her like a fragile doll, as if he applied too much pressure or became even the slightest bit rough she would shatter into pieces. Feeling emboldened from her need, her desire to be touched in a rougher, more carefree way, had guided him, allowing him to test their limits.

Turns out, she was stronger than he thought.

Once they had worked out the bumps and became more adventurous, Inuyasha explored her body with nips and bites, on occasion drawing small drops of blood. When he had stopped, the copper scent shocking him, she had pulled her demon lover closer to him, begging that he continue. She would never forget the way he looked at her when she admitted she _liked_ it, the slight pain intensifying her pleasure. His amber eyes turned a lust infused gold, hooded with desire after being taken so off guard.

None of those bites had caused her concern. He never pressed hard enough to leave a scar, never sank his fangs into her flesh, making her cry out from _pain_.Kagome frowned as guilt consumed her once again. It would serve her right if she had an infection.

Although it had healed, the new scarred skin still caused her immense pain when she touched it. Left alone, it gave her a dull, throbbing ache. She needed to massage the area, work loose the knots in her shoulder; maybe then the constant pain would cease.

Kagome closed her eyes and sighed.

She was tired; exhausted really. She slept as often as she dared, knowing full well if she allowed herself to she would spend hours curled up in her sleeping bag. No matter what she did, she could never seem to get enough rest. At first she contemplated depression; she must be so tired as a side effect. Who could blame her, really, when one considered the circumstances. But as she chewed over the thought, she knew it wasn't the answer. She was sad, yes, but not depressed. She struggled with her own guilt, with the knowledge that Inuyasha had chosen to forget her, considered her a regret, but Kagome had shouldered his departure thus far; she was certain that the new, unfortunate events did not correlate to her current condition.

Her next thought was pregnancy. She felt a nauseous wave crash over her at the idea. It wasn't that she didn't want kids; Kagome had always envisioned herself a mother, and in her fantasies, her brood had always adorned dog ears. When the miles seemed endless, the path stretched out before them with no end in sight, Kagome had often drifted off into day dreams of calmer days to come. When Naraku was finally stopped and the jewel whole, the nomadic life she lived with Inuyasha would come to an end. In those times she dared to imagine what their lives would be like, together as man and wife. She pictured their home, simple and rustic, a far cry from the structure she had lived in 500 years in the future, but filled with comfort. And filled with Inuyasha.

She would blush as she fantasied about the hanyou. Slowly running her hands down the hard planes of his stomach, feeling his abdomen tighten and contract in response to her touch. His chest would rumble, a low growl escaping as her hand dipped lower, lower. Taking charge, Inuyasha would guide her to their futon, caging her between his muscular arms and the mat.

When her mind wandered down that path, Inuyasha was quick to pick up on her desire. He would turn to her discretely, his nostrils flaring as he inhaled her scent. His eyes totally transfixed on her, as if to alert her that the moment he got her alone, he was going to return her craving twofold. After he left, Kagome often stayed awake at night, longing for that look.

But when Kagome was not lost in her lewd thoughts, she often imagined their family. Three, maybe four children, a daddy's girl to wrap around his finger, and a son to idolize him. A mommy's boy that hides behind her skirt, and a baby in her belly. She pictured a mixture of her dark hair with dog ears, children with amber eyes and blue. Her heart ached as she thought about the gruff dog demon tenderly holding their little ones.

Yes, Kagome wanted children, wanted _his_ children, but it was different now. Back then, the biggest deciding factor would be if Inuyasha would let her stay; there was never any question which world she would live in if solely up to her.

But that was then.

If she was to carry his child, he would never know. He did not know he had a relationship with Kagome, did not know she existed, let alone the events that followed in the cave. She would carry the child, and the baby would grow fatherless. All her hopes and fantasies of watching the man she loved chasing their small child went up in smoke.

Luckily, Kagome was not with child. Even after her cycle, she tested to be sure, feeling both relief and disappointment when a second line failed to show.

She and Inuyasha had always been careful to avoid pregnancy in the past. With his demon senses he knew when she was in heat, as he so delicately called it. At first she had worried, but she found in time that Inuyasha was more aware of her body than she was.

She wasn't pregnant. She wasn't depressed. The scar on her neck had not shown any signs of infection.

But deep in the pit of her stomach she knew something was not right.

Her energy was low, her body weak and tired. Although she pushed and refused to slow the group down, her body resisted with every step. When her friends first noticed the change, they had made a fuss that she needed to rest more, that anyone would be exhausted in her situation. In the end it took Miroku, Sango and Kyou to force her into a room, each taking turns as a rotating guard. Shippou played his part too, the fox kit happy to be her bedfellow. She slept undisturbed for two days, rose for a meal, and slept for another. Despite their kind, although brutish efforts, it did no good in the end. Kagome was still as exhausted as she had been.

Whatever was wrong with her, Kagome didn't have a clue.

Some healer she turned out to be.

What worried her equally as much as her physical state was her abilities. The weaker she got, the duller they became. Lately she could hardly sense when the jewel was nearby. She was a weight on her friends, and her only redeeming quality that justified her stay was her power to see the jewel. And now even that was leaving.

Kagome opened her eyes as she heard Shippos quick steps approaching. They had stopped for lunch, and Kagome had chosen to rest under the shade of a tree. Reluctantly, she opened her eyes and tried to greet him with a smile.

"We've got a visitor Kagome!" Shippo said, half as a warning.

"Eh?" She replied, raising an eyebrow. "Who?"

"Ah, my lovely lady Kagome, it is so good to see you again!" She heard the flea announce as he hopped over towards her.

"Myouga?" Kagome asked. They would go long stretches of time without seeing the flea demon, then quickly see him in rapid succession. You never knew how long you could count on Myougas presence.

But she couldn't hide her surprise in seeing him. She had assumed that once he knew Inuyasha had left the group, their association with the flea would end as well. After all, he was a "faithful" servant of Inuyasha. She was glad to see him, and tried to perk herself up.

"And my, my, don't you smell as delicious as ever." He said, hopping up to her shoulder. "You-"

The typically chatty demon went quiet. In a movement far too quick for her to stop, the flea extracted her blood before she swatted him away.

Myouga was silent for a long moment, as if analyzing her blood. Kagome tilted her head to try and get a better look at the flea. Had he taken a sample instead of a snack? He was processing, contemplating what to say. Finally, he found his voice.

"What has happened?" He asked gravely. "What has been done?"

~.~

A/N:: Thank you everyone for the reviews! I know that I went a really long stretch without updating, but Im back at it! Thank you with everyone for sticking with it :) Theres probably only a handful of chapters left. Once this gets wrapped up Ill pick up on The Scent of Hate!

I also want to throw out a few acknowledgements.

Thank you to everyone who reads my drabble, but also reviews. It is such an amazing feeling to know that the nonsense I write is actually read by people, never mind _liked_. I do not share any of my writing IRL, and have always doubted my writing ability, so to hear feedback about how people actually enjoy my stories is just surreal. Seriously, you guys all make my day!

Alejandra2432- CONGRATS on your baby! I felt a little guilty reading your review, hoping Kagome was pregnant. I have other plans for her, but who knows, maybe it will be in her cards someday ;) I can remember you reviewing when you were pregnant, and Im so excited your little one has finally arrived! The baby stages go by in a blink of an eye- enjoy every minute of it. (Also feel free to message me if you want to gush about the name, gender- whatever ;)

VitaRubella- Thank you for your awesome review! It made my day when I read it!

Grapefruit Wannabe- Thank you as always for reviewing, being a diehard Inuyasha fan and sticking with my fics! I always look forward to your reviews!

Intothenest13- Thank you for your reviews! I always love to hear your feedback!

StoatsandWeasels- Im flattered that you think I can write angst so well. I worry that my stories all come off similar and the angst gets old. Thank you for looking forward to my updates, and for your wonderful reviews! I tried to make this one a bit longer for you ;)


	14. Chapter 14

"What has been done?" The flea asked gravely.

"Myouga?" Kagome looked at the small demon. He had suddenly gone pale, worry written all over his features.

"Shippo, would you run along and find Sango and Miroku?" He asked urgently. His voice had a firmness, and authority to it that she hadn't heard before. She was beginning to feel on edge.

"Kagome going to be okay?!" The small fox asked, panic and concern making his voice higher than usual.

"We will discuss everything once the group is together. Now go, quickly."

The fox kit looked at the woman, unsure if she should leave her or stay.

"It's okay Shippo. Im alright." She managed to give him a smile, hoping to send him off. He looked at her for a moment longer, as if trying to assess if she was going to disappear before he returned.

"I'll- Ill be right back Kagome."

She nodded in response, still trying to hold her composure together. Sure, she wasn't feeling well, but that's no reason to give everyone a scare like this.

"Myouga…"

"When was it, exactly, that you and Master Inuyasha mated?" He said sternly.

"Mated?" She echoed, her cheeks coloring by the second. "Well… we-we- for quite some time we have been… intimate…"

"No, you misunderstand Kagome." He shook his head as if he had no time for her ignorance. "You have coupled with Master Inuyasha in the past. What you two have done- or attempted to do- was mate."

"H-how did you know Inuyasha and I were-"

"I may be small, but I am still a demon. Of course I can tell when two people have engaged in-"

"Okay, okay!" Kagome covered her face, flushed with embarrassment. She was not longer sure if she felt faint from her illness or from this conversation.

"But- But what do you mean mated… if not… that?" She bit her lip as she tried to get a grip on the situation. "We didn't do anything… unusal…."

"Kagome, you mean to tell me this was done, and you had no knowledge of it!? I had told Master Inuyasha the dangers associated with mating, and he seemed to have understood! I have to admit when you went your separate ways I was a bit relieved… I always feared that this may become a reality. How is this even possible? When did you-"

"We ran into Inuyasha not long ago." Miroku answered as he joined the conversation, Sango by his side.

"He lost control… and kidnapped Kagome while in full demon form."

"So it was his demon that mated with Kagome?" He rubbed his chin, contemplating the situation.

"Wait, hold on." Sango said, trying to catch up with the rest of the group. "I have studied demons and mating rituals… I would have known if Kagome and Inuyasha had mated. She doesn't even have a mark!"

"A mark?" Kagome furrowed her brow. It was mortifying enough that her friends were openly discussing her sex life, that she had gone to great lengths to keep private, but now they were debating whether or not she and Inuyasha had done something she wasn't even aware of.

"That's right- demons leave behind their claim on each other. We would have definitely noticed that." Miroku nodded in agreement.

The flea sighed. "That is true- if it had been a successful mating."

"Can that happen?" Miroku asked, turning to Sango. Apparently everyone had forgotten Kagomes presence.

"Master Inuysha, while possessing many demon qualities, is in fact only a half demon, thus the chances of a successful bonding during a mating ritual… it is always risky."

"What do you mean risky? What happens-" Kagome bit her bottom lip, trying to make sense of what the flea was saying. Inuyasha and she… were mated? Or at the very least, he had _tried_ to?

But before that…

He had spoken about this with Myouga? He… he had thought that the two of them…

Kagome shook her head, trying to chase away the thought. No, that wasn't right. Perhaps they had only spoken of it as a precaution.

In the end, he was with Kikyo. And she… she was-

"Risky you say?" Miroku repeated, worry laced in his voice.

"Mating is a sacred ritual." Sango supplied. "It is more than just the physical act. It is the joining of two souls. It binds the two together in this life and the next, weaving their fates into one."

"Yes, indeed it is that way. It has such an impact that it is not done easily, nor is it done often. It differs from demon to demon, personality traits also are taken into account, but it is something done when the utmost trust is placed in someone."

"And you're saying that Inuyasha and I… are mates?"

The flea sighed. "No, unfortunately that is not the case. As I said, it is not an easy process to become mates, and because Master Inuyasha is a half demon… The side effects of a full blooded demon taking a human as a mate have proven to have disastrous consequences in the past. Master Inuyashas late father, as dearly as he loved his bride, refused to have the process done, if only to protect her."

"And with Inuyasha being a half demon… Im not sure Ive ever heard of a hanyou mating with a human." Sango said, her voice low. "The outcome… the side effects…"

"And what are those?" Kagome asked. "Is that why I have been so sick?"

Myouga closed his eyes.

"It is not that simple." He took a deep breath, looking at the woman with sympathetic eyes. "You are correct- you are ill because the two of you attempted to mate… There are benefits to mating, beyond what Sango has already said, but there are also negatives. When a partner is in danger, wounded, dying… The other feels it as well. There are even those who have died when their mate has, depending on what type of demon it was."

"Does that mean Inuyasha isn't well!?" Kagome sat up with a start, concern giving her more energy than she had felt all day. "Is he alright?"

"If I were to venture a guess, he is most likely fine." She seemed to relax a little at this, but her body was still tense. "Kagome, there is no easy way to say this… but the reason that you are ill…"

Kagome knew what the flea demon was going to say. She had known it before he had made his appearance, before he had tasted the change in her blood. She looked at the small demon, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Kagome… you're dying."

~.~

Inuyasha was confused.

Fuck, when wasn't he confused.

But this time it seemed justified. Kikyo was always so adamant that they hunt for the shards, relentlessly track down every lead; but this time, when the news of the wolf demon made its way to them, she had refused to pursue it.

There were rumors in the nearby town that a demon had been by, a fierce one with shards in his legs, angry and looking for a fight.

When the miko caught wind of it she declared it was a waste of time, that they would head in the opposite direction.

It felt familiar, all of it. And it pissed him the fuck off.

And what was worse, he had no freaking idea why.

Shards in his legs. Cheater.

 _'What the hell have you done to her, you mutt?!' The wolf screamed, his fangs bared and ready to rip him to shreds. 'You know she is MY woman! How dare you touch her!'_

 _He readied his claws. He wouldn't use his sword on this bastard. He wanted to use his hands. He wanted to take him down with his fists. He wanted to show him once and for all that she was HIS. Inuyashas. Not one part of her had ever belonged to the mangy wolf._

 _She was his. She had given him her body. She had given him her heart. She called out HIS name at night, begged HIM to take her._

 _And he couldn't wait to fucking tell him._

 _"Feh, shes never been yours, you fucking bastard. Shes MINE."_

 _"Like Hell." The wolf demon ground out. "Im going to finally give you what you deserve."_

 _"Go ahead." He said, his smirk showing his fangs. "Ive been waiting for this day ever since I laid eyes on you. I should have fucking killed you when you kidnapped her."_

 _He had been about to leap. He had been on the balls of his feet, ready to plunge at him. The sound of her voice, her panting cries made him halt. He squeezed his eyes shut as he ground his teeth together._

 _"DAMNIT."_

 _"STOP! Please!" She begged. Inuyasha immediately pushed her behind him, throwing her a heated look._

 _Why? Why couldn't she just let him fucking end him?_

 _Why couldn't he just defy her and do what every demonic instinct in his body told him to?_

 _Because he didn't want to upset her._

 _Because he didn't want to see the look on her face, the one of disappointment and disgust. He clenched his fists, ignoring the iron smell of his own blood._

 _"Im going to gut him Kagome! He violated you! He fucking took advantage of you when I wasn't there!"_

 _"Its not like that!" she screamed, twisting away from him. "I-" He could hear her swallow hard. "I love him."_

 _He hadn't heard that before._

 _"You- You what?!" The wolf gasped in disbelief._

 _She nodded her head. "I do. I'm in love with him."_

 _She loved him._

 _She had said it out loud._

 _She hadn't said it in a way that sounded fake or forced. She had admitted to being in love with a hanyou. A filthy half breed. She admitted to loving someone as fucked up as him._

 _And she had said it to Koga. That was a thousand times better than tearing those shards out from his legs, a million times better than ripping him limb from limb._

 _"Kagome, you don't know what you're saying. Hes done something to you. Hes-"_

 _She shook her head. He could see her ink black hair sway with her dismissal. "I have always loved him. I've always valued you as a friend… but that's all. I-Im sorry Koga."_

 _Inuyasha grabbed hold of her, pulling her back towards him._

 _He could after all. She was his._

 _She-_

It caught him off guard. It always did.

He scrambled to try and remember the crucial parts.

A wolf demon. Angry and ready to kill. Convinced he had… violated her?

The woman.

She loved him. She had said so. In that moment, she had chosen him over the wolf.

And he had called to her…What was her name? K-K-…

FUCK. None of it made sense.

And its not like he could do anything with the information, even if he had somehow managed to hold onto the memory of her name. Its not like he could just walk up to Kikyo and ask about the mystery woman that he clearly had been with.

"Kikyo, I think we should track down that wolf demon." He said, his voice not as firm as he wished it was. In his dreams-memories- whatever the fuck they were- he always sounded so confident. Like he was the one in control; a leader. The one in charge.

With Kikyo, everything sounded like a fucking question. He had no confidence.

"No, we will continue in this direction. At this rate it is simply senseless to turn back."

"But the bastard has two shards!"

"Which makes him all the more dangerous. The rumors say he is enraged."

"I can take that asshole down easily." He dismissed, "I don't even need my-" he stopped, searching for the word.

What didn't he need?

The miko stared at him, as if trying to assess the sudden change.

"I-I just feel like we shouldn't waste anymore time and get the shards if were going to piece back the jewel." He said, his voice lower.

"Inuyasha, you are in no condition to make judgement calls, not when you have not recovered your memories yet. Your thinking may still be impaired."

The hanyou blinked twice, trying to determine if there was a way to not take offense to that statement. He could feel his anger rising. He could feel it boiling to the top.

"Fuck this." He growled, grinding his teeth together.

"E-Excuse me?" Kikyo stumbled on her words, clearly shocked.

"I-I-" Inuyasha took several deep breaths. "Sorry." He ahad trouble meeting her eyes. "I've gotta go clear my head. Ill be back."

~.~

"Dying?" Kagome repeated, her voice slightly louder than a breath. She was unheard, as the group had gone into an uproar.

"That cant be right!" Sango pleaded.

"Don't say that!" Shippo cried, launching himself onto her.

"Myouga, you are certain of this?" Miroku asked.

"I… I don't know." He confessed. "Given the time that has passed between the mating, Kagome should have already passed by now if it was unsuccessful. Yet she is still sick, and her energy fading. The taste of her blood…"

"Perhaps it is Kagomes miko abilities." Miroku spoke up, causing everyone to turn their attention to the monk. "Maybe it is her spiritual powers that are stabilizing her." He turned to the flea. "Is there anything that can be done?"

"You may be right about that." Myouga nodded. "Yes, that certainly makes a degree of sense." He said, trying to connect dots in his head.

"But is there anything we can do?!" Sango asked, repeating Mirokus ignored question.

"This is just a theory…but it could be that Master Inuyashas demonic powers are at war with Kagomes abilities. Her body may be treating it as a virus to be defeated instead of accepted. It may be that because the mating was done unknowingly to Kagome that caused the ritual to fail… But if Master Inuyasha were to do the ritual again, perhaps it would be-"

"No. That cant happen." Kagome finally spoke up.

"Kagome, you have to- it could save your life!" Sango exclaimed.

She shook her head. "Inuyasha is with Kikyo. I cant be his mate."

"But you could die!" Shippos high pitched voice cut through.

"Even though Master Inuyasha is with Kikyo, he certainly would not let you die Kagome." Myouga agreed. "Im sure he would rather-"

"Its not just that." Kagome said. "He- He has no memory of me."

"What?" the voices seemed to say in unison.

"He.. He asked Kikyo to remove me from his memories." She tried to choke back the tears to get the difficult words out. "That time… when he- when he came back… got back to himself… he remembered me and-" Kagome brought her hands to her face, sobbing uncontrollably.

"It was awful. He was in so much pain. Kikyo said she could fix it… but she was unsure if there would be damage. She said that if it were to happen again, she couldn't guarantee that he-"

"Oh Kagome…" Sango sank down to her knees to embrace her friend. "Why didn't Kyo tell us any of this!?" Sango demanded.

"I begged him not to. Don't be angry with him."

"But even still, we should try and find Inuyasha." Sango looked at her pleadingly.

"If he remembers me, he could die. If he remembers me, and is some how fine, he is tethered to me unwillingly, for all of eternity. I cant do that to him." Kagome faintly smiled. "I love him. I wont."

"But you'll die!" Shippo yelled. "Don't you get it Kagome! If Inuyasha doesn't come here, youre going to die!"

"Shippo-"

Kagome couldn't hold her head up much longer. She needed to rest. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she readied herself to try and console the kit.

But she was too late.

He was already gone.


	15. Chapter 15

Kagome could hear the hushed voices of her friends; They were worried, sad.

Not that she could blame them; she herself was riddled with conflicting emotions, but the one thought that kept repeating, the same sentences that were on loop had nothing to do with her.

No, they were about _him._

Please, please don't go after him.

Please just let him be.

It was not that she wished to be a martyr- she had was not looking to make an example of herself, show that her love was great through sacrifice. What would that serve? The hanyou did not even know she existed.

And it was not as if she wished to die. Quite the opposite, really. After all the years chasing after the shards and battling demons… she knew how precious life was. She understood why it was such a sin to waste ones life, why the Gods punished those who did not value it. No, it had nothing to do with that. She was a young woman, in the prime of her life! Living in an exotic land, traveling Japan on an epic adventure. She had friends she loved, family she held dear… a man that she-

A man that she would give her life for. She knew that she would be unable to live with herself if she forced his hand in the situation. People had accused the hanyou of many things over the years- called him foul names, attributed his mere existence to natural disasters and human blunders alike. Villagers looked at him with fear, demons with loathing; both in disgust.

But he was not the monster that either side made him out to be. He was a man, tough and weathered from the brutal treatment he has endured, untrusting and with good cause. Yet for his harsh exterior and cutting words, he was also a gentle being. He felt deeply- more so than anyone would guess. He was a demon, strong and primal in his urges to protect, in his desire to meet his most basic needs. It did not make him a monster. It made him something altogether unique. He had his own sense of morals and in the end, he would do what he felt was right.

That's why Kagome was sure that if he found out her predicament, he would come without a second thought.

He would come, and complete the mating process. He would leave behind the woman he loved, for a woman he liked. Maybe. Who knew how he felt about her… especially after…

Inuyasha would sacrifice himself for her, sacrifice his happiness and tie his fate to hers in order to keep her alive. He risked his life for complete strangers; Kagome had little doubt that he would stand by idly and let her die. Despite his decision to follow Kikyo, the woman he truly was meant to be with, she knew that he had to have at least some feelings for her; at the very least as a companion who fought by his side. Kagome knew that the fearsome demon, disgraced hanyou that the outside world saw him as would set aside his own happiness to save someone else.

Kagome did not want that. She did not want him to have to sacrifice any more than he has in his life, to know that in his heart he hurt because he could not be with the woman he loved… because of her… because she could not control herself in his moment of need.

That was her fault. And this, this was her punishment.

Of course, Kagome was not looking forward to dying. Had she more energy, she might have been sadder. Strangely, she had reached a point of acceptance. It was far better to go this route than face the alternative. She would not be a burden to Inuyasha; she refused to be a hindrance any longer. He will be free to live his life, without her, just as he wanted.

He wouldn't remember her; he certainly does not now. She will pass on to the next life, a transition that he will have no notice of. After all, people die every day. Why should she, a stranger, be any different?

She felt a sense of unease, leaving the jewel incomplete. It had been her purpose for the last few years- hunt the shards, fight the demons, help the villagers. Sense the jewel, follow the trailer, keep it pure. It had consumed her life and set it on a path that even in her wildest dreams she could not have fathomed. Naraku had caused such devastation, hurt so many people… She wished she could have seen the journey through to the end.

And her friends… she would miss them dearly. She hoped that in her next life she would be able to find them, to know how they fared.

She wondered if it was selfish to hope to find him too.

She couldn't have him in this life… she was not meant to love him now. Would it be too much to ask that in her next lifetime, she could be with him? That their souls would find each other? Or was he destined to seek out Kikyos forever?

Perhaps she was never meant to love him; perhaps it was her destiny to carry Kikyos soul back to the Feudal era, to deliver her into Inuyashas arms.

She was merely a vessel for transportation.

Fate could be so cruel.

She prayed that in her next life fate was a bit kinder.

~.~

He had run so far, for so long, he was not sure where he was any longer. His sense of direction was gone, he was no longer to differentiate scents. His head was spinning, his sanity wavering. When was the last time he had slept? Had something to drink or eat? The idea vaguely crossed his mind that he might die from sheer exhaustion. When was the last time he had felt this way? Had he ever? Had he ever pushed his body to this extent?

The noise was deafening. The sounds of the leaves rustling in the trees, the chatter of the villagers, the distant voices of the phantoms in his head… they were incessant, a constant beating in his head. He couldn't seem to get a moment of peace; he couldn't concentrate on where he was going, what he was doing. It was too damn noisy! If it could just be quiet for one fucking second, if he could just-

 _"Inuyasha!" Her voice called after him. Laughing, happy. For some reason, it hurt. To hear her so happy, to be this happy… it stung._

 _"Inuyasha! Wait for me!" It was angry, shrill. He could tell she was getting farther away, but she wasn't giving up. He could hear the echo of her voice as he leapt into the trees. "Inuyasha! Don't leave me behind!"_

 _"I-I-I- Inuyasha!" She screamed. "Did you see that! Make it stop!" She was frightened, looking for comfort._

 _"In… Inuya…AHH!" It was breathy, beautiful. Like he had heard so many times. He couldn't get enough of it. He was still amazed it was his name rolling off her lips in such bliss._

 _"Inuyasha- SIT!" Anger. So much anger. Both from her, and from him. He fumed as he was thrown to the ground._

He couldn't stand it any longer. He was going insane!

The sound of her voice, so many contexts, so many times, calling him, over and over, it was bringing him to the brink.

He needed to find her, had to no matter what the cost.

He might lose Kikyo.

Fuck, that was probably a given.

There was no way the priestess would stay with him after he left her to chase shadows. What was worse, he wasn't sure that he minded. The time he had spent with her was as empty as the hollow shell of her body.

He longed for the mystery woman, wanted her with every fiber of his being. He had to find her, had to know who she was- Why he wasn't with her.

What if-

What if she didn't want to see him?

Fuck, he would deal with that when and if it came to that. He-

"INUYASAHA!" A small voice cried, coming at him with incredible speed.

"Wh-Wha?" He furrowed his brows together, trying to make sense of the orange blur. A strange mix of scents he knew, some he didn't came rushing towards him

"You're coming with me, you jerk!" The creature had landed on his shoulders and began to tug at the beads around his neck. He began to swat at his face, scratching and drawing blood with his small, but sharp claws. The scent of his own metallic blood filling the air.

"Who- OW!" The nuisance grabbed his ear, trying to direct him somewhere. "What the hell! Who the fuck are you!"

"So its true." He stopped protesting, but only momentarily. "You don't know who I am, do you?"

"That's what I fucking said!" He reached around, gripping the bushy tail in his hands. "Now tell me what the fuck you're talking about before I-"

"How could you forget who I am!" He howled, a new rush of anger at him. "How could you do this to us? How could you-"

"Will you just-"

"You have to come back with me! If you don't Kago-"

He dropped to his knees, releasing the small animal.

He covered his ears from the high pitched ringing, ground his teeth to try and bare the pain.

"I-Inu-Inuyasha!" The child cried. "What happened!"

He looked up, getting his first real glimpse of the small terror.

Orange hair, bushy fur.

A fox kit. Alone, and angry.

Where were his parents? Why did-

Inuyasha tried to steady himself, took several deep breaths as the ringing softened.

The hanyou panted on his hands and knees, looking at the kit with hard, angry eyes.

"I know you?" He asked with a snarl.

"You're kidding, right? That's what I've been saying this entire time!" He screamed

"Do you know the woman?" He asked, fangs bared.

"What?" The fox asked, as bewildered as he felt.

"The woman, with- with black hair- and bl-" He closed his eyes, urging his memory to piece together what information he had of her. "Blue eyes." He finished. "She-"

"You idiot." He rubbed his little temples in frustration. "You're listening hasn't imporved at all. After all this time, you're still the biggest moron I know!"

"Do you or not!" He managed to ground out.

"That's the entire reason I came to find you. If you don't come with me, shes going to die!" He said, emotion making his voice raw.

"What? Me?"

"Its all your fault, Inuyasha. You need to come and make this right. You should never of left her. You have to come and save her! Shes going to die!"

Inuyasha felt like the world was spinning. He left her? She was dying?

 _Save her._

 _Save mate._

His demon was raging, furious. He could feel his grasp on the situation slipping, could see his vision clouding red.

"Who-"

"You have to come and save Kagome."

 _Kagome._

 _Kagome._

 _…. Kagome!_


	16. Chapter 16

_"Let me take them off!" she begged. She had marched over to him with a smile, announcing that she was going to remove his beads._

 _At first he had been reluctant. Why? Why now, all of a sudden?_

 _Was it a trap? A test?_

 _But when he watched her grip the purple beads, felt the weight shift from his neck to her hands, he panicked._

 _He pushed her away and took to the trees._

 _"Inuyasha!" She called after him. "Wait up!"_

 _"Just leave them!" He responded._

 _"I don't understand you!" She screamed. "For how long have you wanted to take the necklace off? And now you're running away?! Come back here and talk to me!"_

 _They were far into the woods before he leapt down._

 _"You're too damned naïve." He said, a hint of malice in his voice._

 _"What?" She asked, angry now that he had made her chase him._

 _"Did you forget that I'm a demon? That these freaking things are the one damn thing you can use against me?"_

 _"That's why I don't want you to have them anymore. Im afraid I will continue to misuse them. They were put on you because Kaedae thought you were dangerous… and I used them as a punishment when I was mad… Im sorry." She apologized, a sad smile on her lips._

 _He looked at her for a long minute._

 _Her chest was heaving, still trying to steady her breathing after catching up to him. Her full lips pouted at her confession._

 _"Too naïve." He said, pushing her against the trunk of a tree._

 _"Wha-?"_

 _"You think Im not a danger to you?" He asked. He held up one hand to demonstrate a point. "Have you forgotten-"_

 _She reached out, grasping his large clawed hand in her own. She brought it close to her lips, giving it a soft, gentle kiss._

 _"I know you wont hurt me, Inuyasha. Even as a full demon, you don't want to. Have a little faith in yourself."_

 _His nostrils flared as he tried to control himself. He was doing this to prove a point, after all._

 _Grabbing her chin, he brought her pink lips to his. He crashed down on her, hungrily dominating the kiss._

 _No, he didn't need the beads to stop him from attacking her. Not in the way she was thinking._

 _Something had changed in their relationship recently; they were no longer friends, but something altogether different. Something he had only dared to dream about._

 _He kissed her deeply, as he had done so many times before._

 _In the past the would share an embrace, and the moment would pass it. It would feel like an eternity before he was able to recreate those events, relive the actions._

 _Now it was becoming a daily occurrence, and as much as he was enjoying it, he was hungry for more._

 _Starving, if he was honest._

 _He licked along her jaw, giving her small nips as he worked up to her earlobe. He could hear her breathy moans, loved the way her nails were digging into the flesh of his back._

 _He closed his eyes as he spoke._

 _"This is why. I-I cant guarantee that I can stop myself." He steadied himself to look at her. "I want you to use these beads if I ever take it too far."_

 _At that, he began to back away, planned to end it there._

 _He didn't think she would react that way, didn't plan on her grabbing that damned necklace to drag him back, her body pressed against his, holding him tightly as her mouth sought out his own._

 _"Kago-"_

 _She pressed against him in response, and he lost his will to fight. He could never win against her any way._

Opening his eyes, he wanted to get his fill of her, this woman who had complete control of him.

And just like that, she was gone.

The hanyou looked around, frustrated and angry.

He had done this before, had been here before.

FUCK!

 _"You're just going to leave?" she asked. He could see her before him, could see the scene playing out before him._

 _She was sad; tears were rolling down her cheeks as she bit her bottom lip._

 _"I have to." He found himself saying, although he wasn't quite sure why. "I have to go to her."_

 _She was at a loss for words. He could see that she was trying to look anywhere but at him. Her eyes darted to the ground, the sky, pleading with anything to give her the strength to do something. Anything._

 _"I have to go." He said, not believing the words were coming from his own lips._

 _He was leaving her._

 _He was really leaving her._

 _She was still struggling to form words, still trying to find a way to protest. He had to go now. He knew if she gave an ounce of resistance, he would lose his will._

 _He turned his back and muttered a goodbye._

Images flooded his mind, filled his head to the brim with memories. Watching her sleeping, wishing he could comfort her as she tossed and turned. The sound of her laughter, the bitterness of her tears. The way she ran, the faith she had in him. He could feel the excitement as she wrapped her arms around his neck as they leapt into the trees.

It was all coming back to him.

 _Kagome._

It was as if a bolt of lightening had been struck him. His body shook as he closed his eyes tighter.

Kagome. Kagome. Kagome.

He wasn't aware he was saying the words out loud, didn't realize that he was holding his head, slightly rocking back and forth. He struggled to sort of the mass of memories that were brought back to him.

Kagome. Kagome. _Kagome._

He was afraid he would lose her again.

Terrified he would remember, only to forget once more.

"YES KAGOME!" A voice screeched. "SNAP OUT OF IT INUYASHA!"

With great reluctance he cracked open his eyes, the bright light burning.

Shippo. He had forgotten Shippo.

"Are you okay? You look like a maniac!" The child said worriedly. "You need to come with me, Inuyasha! Kagome is sick- Shes dying!"

Dying? Kagome?

His Kagome?

He had left to protect her- left because he was a coward, he was afraid. Kikyos threat.. he knew was serious, and he doubted his ability to stop the dead miko.

He left to save Kagome.

She was dying?

Kagome?

His body began to shake, his head was pounding, the noises and scents around him became to intermixed they were indistinguishable. A warm, burning sensation flowed through his body, and that was the last thing he remembered before it all went black.


	17. Chapter 17

Shippo placed the bucket of water on the ground with an exasperated sigh. He had had enough of this madness.

It had been well over a week since he had found the hanyou. He had been fortunate that he wasn't _too_ far away- it was almost like he had been looking for the group himself.

Kagome had been right- Inuyasha couldn't remember her, or him, or anything for that matter. When Shippo approached him, the dog demon scrunched up his face as if he was trying to make out who the heck he was.

But before he could lay into the idiot about what a moron he was, he couldn't stop his temper from flaring.

When he had demanded that he come back, unaware of the situation or not, he had blurted out Kagome's name.

It was like hearing her name triggered something in him; he just kept repeating it over and over. As if it was sinking in, making sense.

Shippo couldn't believe how easy this was.

Everyone back at the group waited around and talked things to death before they made any kind of move, all the while Kagome was lying there dying.

Shippo decided to take things into his own hands and find Inuyasha.

Easy. Finding him was a piece of cake.

And his memory?

The dumb dog had forgotten them?

Simple.

All Shippo had to do was say the magic word and he was getting them back.

But just when he thought his good luck was finally kicking in, the dumb idiot passed out.

That had been days ago.

It was with great difficulty he moved Inuyasha to a safe area; he managed to find shelter, and was even lucky enough to find a place near water.

Inuyasha was sick with a fever; his body was scorching hot, and no matter what Shippo tried to do, he couldn't bring down the fever. He was sweating, moaning in his sleep. In all that time, he hadn't been able to wake up.

Shippo had to figure out how to get Inuyasha to drink; He struggled to hold up the big morons head as he poured small amounts of water into his mouth. He had taken a large leaf as a makeshift cup, giving the hanyou a miniscule serving. It wasn't much, but it was enough to keep him from dehydrating.

And it was time to go get more again.

Shippo rubbed his temples before he stood up again; He was exhausted. He was angry. And most of all, he was worried sick.

Of course, he was worried about Inuyasha; how could he not be? He was terrified that this illness was going to claim his life.

But what was worse… he was worried about Kagome.

Kagome was so far away, and she had been so sick when he left. He hadn't even said good bye.

Was she alright? Was she getting worse?

Was she even still here?

It wasn't like he could leave and go check.

He couldn't leave Inuyasha here alone. Gods knows what could happen to him. He was totally vulnerable.

Shippo was stuck.

But none of that mattered now; there was nothing he could do about it.

Right now, all he could do was focus on the things that needed to get done.

Right now, he had to go get more water.

~.~

"It really is like a miracle!" Kyou said in wonder.

"I think you've said that a thousand times now." Kagome laughed.

"Hes right Kagome; I just cant get over it." Sango said with a smile. "I was so sure we were going to lose you."

"I was a little scared myself." She admitted.

It was two days now since she woke up.

She had been on the verge of death; she had wondered if her mother would know, 500 years in the future; if she could feel the loss of her daughter from the other side. She felt sorry for her family, to leave them in suspense like this.

She felt sorry for her friends, to leave them behind with so much unfinished business.

The jewel was still incomplete. Mirokus hand was still a danger. Sangos brother was still at the mercy of Naraku, and the many lives that had been lost had not been avenged.

She was going to have to leave them all behind.

And what was worse, she was taking something precious with her.

Inuyasha had mated her; It was the result of the failed mating that caused her to become ill.

She had tricked the man she loved, the man who was not in control of his mental state and taken advantage. She was despicable.

She was paying the price for her sin.

She was sure she would carry it to the next life as well.

If she had the chance, she would keep her distance.

If she had the chance, she would cheer him on silently.

She just wanted the best for him.

Maybe if she was lucky, the Gods would let her wait before her soul was reborn. Maybe if she was lucky, she could watch over him, and witness his the happiness he deserves blossom.

She hoped he was alright. The result of the mating was taking her life… she prayed that Inuyasha was not feeling any pain.

She hoped that he could let what he didn't know pass, and live his life without regrets, happily with the woman he loved.

Her last thoughts before she slipped into unconsciousness were of him.

But then, just like waking from a long slumber, she stretched and sat up.

As if nothing had been wrong.

As if she hadn't been on deaths door step.

To her side were her friends, sleeping in awkward positions; they had obviously been trying their hardest to stay up and attend to her.

She went to make a move, but her body was so sore.

How long had she been lying in Kaedes hut?

How long had she been…?

At her slight movement, she had awoken her friends.

There had been so many tears, so many hugs and a bath that lasted so long her skin was as wrinkled and pruned as her grandfather when she emerged.

"We are all grateful." Miroku said, bringing Kagome from her thoughts.

She couldn't help but notice his tone.

He sounded…

Almost sad.

"Are you sure you are feeling alright?" Sango asked.

"Really, I feel fine. I think you're all being overly cautious."

"Its not like you can blame us." Said Kyou. "How can someone be so… and then the next minute… Its just a miracle."

"Well miracle or not, I still think we should leave today."

Kagome was in a rush; She had heard that Shippo had taken off to find Inuyasha, and she was worried sick about the fox demon. He was out there on his own, enduring this all for the sake of her.

Just another victim from her selfishness.

"We will leave tomorrow." Kyou said firmly. "Tonight you will rest. You shouldn't push yourself."

"He's right." Sango nodded in agreement.

"There will be plenty of time to get back on the road. You need to regain your strength." Mirkou said.

"But I'm perfectly fine!" Kagome protested.

The monk opened his mouth, as if he was about to say something, but let out a deep sigh and looked down. Kagome was about to push him for an explanation, but Kyou cut in before she had the chance.

"You need to eat liver tonight, even if you feel alright now."

Kagome gave the man a horrified look.

"Wh-what did you say?" She asked, her face going pale.

"Liver. It's the best thing to eat after you've been sick." He explained simply.

"Th-thanks, but no thanks. I don't like liver." She said, holding up her hands defensively, as if the detested meat was near her now.

"Even still; That's what you need to eat. I'll make sure you get liver."

"Really, its not necessary." Kagome tried.

"I told you I would take care of you didn't I? What kind of man would I be if I didn't make sure you were fed properly after you were ill?" He raised a brow.

"But-" She protested.

"No buts." He called over his shoulder as he set off to fulfill his promise.

"It looks like you're doomed to eat liver forever Kagome." Sango said with a chuckle.

~.~

"Ka…Kagome…"

 _He was lying down, his head slightly elevated. He could feel a cool breeze blow by as he relaxed in the shade of the tree._

 _With her._

 _He must have fallen asleep; when he looked up, she was reading a book, her long black hair moving with the breeze._

 _She must have felt his stare, because she looked down at him._

 _She gave a kind smile as she put her book down._

 _Leaning down, he felt her soft lips brush against his forehead, her hair creating a curtain around them._

 _…_

 _He could see her black hair; he could feel its silky texture between his fingers as he moved her head to deepen the kiss. He wanted more of her; wanted to hear the delicious noises she was struggling to hold back._

 _He felt her small hands run up his shoulders, her blunt nails digging into his flesh as she tried to control her desires._

 _It all felt surreal; he still couldn't believe that she was here, in his arms. He had difficulty believing that she was really his; that the woman he had loved for so long returned his feelings. A filthy hanyou like him, with someone so pure like her._

 _Even just thinking about it hurt._

 _That's why he needed to touch her, to know that it was real. To check for himself, that he hadn't fantasized the situation; that his senses were not lying, and that the woman before him wanted to be there._

"Kagome…"

He could feel his skin split as he raked his claws against his skin, razor sharp the wounds were deep.

 _"_ _I can't keep doing this Inuyasha… I can't continue to-"_

 _"_ _You know that I-" He ground his teeth as he halted his words._

 _She knew that what? That he loved her?_

 _Had he ever been man enough to say that?_

 _That he valued her?_

 _Treasured her?_

 _Fuck, he couldn't fault her for not being a mind reader._

 _All the things he wanted to say, but couldn't, he kept them locked away in his head. He hoped that she could read between the lines, knew him well enough to know that she was special to him._

 _He loved her. Gods, the feelings he held back, He couldn't say the words, not when he had given vows to Kikyo._

 _He owed both women his life._

 _Kikyo, for the heinous way that she was killed. For his involvement, for being unable to protect for._

 _And her…_

 _What didn't he owe her?_

 _He took her body, took pleasure from her flesh. Wrapped her up in his chaos, clung to her in ways he didn't deserve._

 _By all rights, his life should be hers._

 _Every fiber of his being, every ounce of him wanted her; wanted to be with her. He wanted to spend the rest if his days proving he could be worth of such a woman._

 _But how could he?_

 _Until Naraku was defeated… the jewel made whole…_

 _Until then, her soul couldn't rest._

 _Until then, he owed a debt._

 _He looked forward to the day that he could tell her his feelings._

 _He wanted to tell her when his burden was light, so that she would not have to shoulder any of it._

 _He wanted to tell her at that time how deep his feelings were, and that he could finally love her freely._

 _He just hoped that in the meantime, he would be able to express himself through his actions._

 _From the tone of her voice… from the weight of the conversation, he failed._

 _"_ _I can't-" she bit her bottom lip as she struggled to find the words, her eyes searching the sky line._

 _He was afraid to speak, but terrified to let her continue._

 _After a moment of silence she spoke, the corners of her lips turned up in the saddest smile his amber eyes had ever seen._

 _"_ _Let's end this."_

"K-Kag-Kagome…"

"Inuyasha?!"

He could hear someone cry out somewhere, a familiar voice calling his name.

He knew it. So familiar… so small…

"Inuyasha! Are you awake?!"

 _"You're just going to leave?" she asked. He could see her before him, could see the scene playing out before him._

 _She was sad; tears were rolling down her cheeks as she bit her bottom lip._

 _"I have to." He found himself saying, although he wasn't quite sure why. "I have to go to her."_

 _She was at a loss for words. He could see that she was trying to look anywhere but at him. Her eyes darted to the ground, the sky, pleading with anything to give her the strength to do something. Anything._

 _"I have to go." He said, not believing the words were coming from his own lips._

 _He was leaving her._

 _He was really leaving her._

 _She was still struggling to form words, still trying to find a way to protest. He had to go now. He knew if she gave an ounce of resistance, he would lose his will._

 _He turned his back and muttered a goodbye._

Images flooded his mind, filled his head to the brim with memories. Watching her sleeping, wishing he could comfort her as she tossed and turned. The sound of her laughter, the bitterness of her tears. The way she ran, the faith she had in him. He could feel the excitement as she wrapped her arms around his neck as they leapt into the trees.

It was all coming back to him.

Kagome.

It was as if a bolt of lightening had been struck him. His body shook as he closed his eyes tighter.

Kagome. Kagome. Kagome.

He wasn't aware he was saying the words out loud, didn't realize that he was holding his head, slightly rocking back and forth. He struggled to sort of the mass of memories that were brought back to him.

Kagome. Kagome. Kagome.

He was afraid he would lose her again.

Terrified he would remember, only to forget once more.

"YES KAGOME!" A voice screeched. "SNAP OUT OF IT INUYASHA!"

"FUCK-" He dug his nails into his flesh as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"Are you really-" Shippos voice caused the hanyou to flatten his ears against his head. The fox demon watched in horror as his body twisted and turned, hot tears streaming down his cheeks.

"What can I do?" the child begged. "How can I help you Inuyasha?!"

"I need- I need it quiet." He said, his breathing ragged.

"Quiet? I- I can be quiet- I-"

"Shippo…please… shut up…" the hanyou begged.

The kit nodded his head, looking around eagerly.

Inuyasha was finally awake.

Inuyasha had called his name- he had called him Shippo!

They could finally find the group.

The could get back to Kagome, and save her life.

Everything was finally going to be alright.

He placed his small hand on the hanyou forehead. It was drenched in sweat, but the fever seemed to have broken.

One hurdle down.

Saving Kagome was next.

But how was he going to tell Inuyasha?

How was he going to tell him that the only way to save her life, was to-.

Shippo closed his eyes.

He was going to have to explain everything to the dumb idiot.

He wasn't looking forward to the reaction of the news that Kagome was on her deathbed.

He waited a moment before he spoke, his voice so low a human would not be able to distinguish it.

"Inuyasha… we have to talk…. It can't wait."

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, and asked for updates! I promise I will try to get the next chapter out as soon as possible! Your reviews definitely gave me motivation!


	18. Chapter 18

"Should we stop here for lunch?" the slayer asked, surveying the area before them. "I think there is a river nearby."

Kagome shrugged as she looked at her friends. "I'm not very hungry, but if everyone else is I don't mind." She said. Kagome had no interest in eating; she was too focused on finding Shippo. She has been filled with anxiety since the moment she had learned that the kit had left.

"Lunch sounds like a good idea." Miroku said, looking over at Kagome. He had been acting weird for a while now. Every so often she would catch him looking at her, stealing glances when he thought she was unaware.

It wasn't in his lecherous way; thats almost what worried Kagome more. He looked at her as if he was trying to puzzle something out. Trying to figure the best angle to approach his problem.

She didn't like it one bit.

"Well then, I will head to the river and get the fish." Kyo offered as he left in the direction of the river.

Kagome began to gather wood for the fire, all the while feeling the eyes of the monk burning her back. Seriously, this was getting excessive.

"Hey, Miroku- can you help me with the fire wood?" Kagome asked innocently.

"Eh?" The man jumped as she called his name in surprise. "Sure." He managed out, less calm than he hoped.

They wandered into the forest, far enough so that they were out of ear shot. Steeling her shoulders, she turned on her heels and faced him. For good measure, she crossed her arms over her chest, just as a certain hanyou was prone to do.

"Okay, spill it." She said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Spill it?" He repeated, trying out the phrase for himself.

"Yeah, spill it. As in, tell me why you have been watching me from the corners of your eyes!"

"Ah, so you noticed…" He said, an awkward pitch to his voice.

"How could I not?!" She threw her hands up for effect. "I've been feeling your eyes burn a hole through my back!"

He gave her an apologetic smile in return

"So…?" She raised an eyebrow as she waited.

The monk took in a deep breath to steady himself, slowly releasing it.

He was taking his time.

When he saw that she would not give on the subject, he finally answered.

"Okay… I have been trying to find a way to approach you, but I wanted to be sure before I did…" His eyes seemed glued to the ground, unable to meet hers.

"Thats a start." She nodded, urging him to continue. "Be sure about what?"

Miroku finally looked up, his eyes hard as stone.

~.~

Inuyasha felt as if his head was going to explode. The leaves rustled from the wind; animals chirped, squeaked, yipped. Off in the distance he could hear the flow of water, waves crashing against the banks, making him feel as if his brain was swelling. Simply existing in the world was painful.

And Shippo, standing over him, breathing…

For the life of him he couldn't figure out what the fuck was going on. He didn't know where he was, why he was in pain, or why the hell the fox kit was standing over him, a frantic panic in his voice.

"Inuyasha…" Shippos voice stopped him from his pleasant thoughts. It was low. So low that humans would not be able to distinguish the sound. "We need to talk… it can't wait…"

The hanyou responded by nodding his head. He still did not have the strength to open his eyes. Not yet.

Gods, he wish he knew what the fuck happened.

"Inuyasha.. I- I dont know how to say this-"

Something wasn't right.

Panic began to rise.

Anxiety.

He could feel his blood quickening.

"-But- But-" The fox stumbled on his words, only causing Inuyasha to worry more. Clearly whatever news the kit had to share was not going to be pleasant.

Making a quick scan, he tried to sniff out his surroundings.

It was just the fox. The rest of the group wasn't with him-

Fuck!

"Spit it out." He managed, more venom in his tone than he intended. He simply wanted to hurry the kid along.

"Inuyasha… Kagome- Kagome-"

Kagome.

It was if a shock went through his heart.

It seemed like so long since he had heard her name.

It seemed like forever since he had thought of her.

"…needs your help." He took a deep breath for half a beat. "She's in trouble." Amber eyes shot open, each ray of light burning him in greeting.

"Kagome is… She's-"

"She's what?" He breathed, a large fang showing as he unconsciously growled. His hands had clenched into tight fists, his claws digging into flesh.

"Shes dying!" The fox burst into tears. "She's dying and it's all your fault!"

For a moment, everything went black.

And then, the world turned red.

~.~

"Kyo, should you not return to your village?" Sango asked as she handed him a fish. "It's not that we mind having you with us, its just that I worry you are leaving so much behind."

"Couldn't the same be said for you as well?" He asked, not meaning to be as harsh as it came across.

Miroku sighed before he answered. "For us, we have no home to go back to. Not really."

"You have heard about my village, Miroku's hand, about Shippos parents… What we have left…" Sango shrugged, "What we have is to fight."

"But you have to know that you have a home at Kaede's village as well." Kagome interjected. "When all of this is over… she is hoping that you will stay." She gave a kind smile as her eyes twinkled in amsuement. "And build a home together."

The slayer and monk both blushed.

"What about you Kagome?" Kyo turned to look at her as he asked.

"Me?" She asked, rather confused. "I- I-"

"I was hoping… that you would come back to my village… with me." Kyo said.

He was so sincere, so full of optimism.

She didn't want to get tarnished.

"Kyo…"

Boldly, he took her hands in his, locking his brown eyes onto her blue.

"I know that you think I am not serious about my proposal, but please, give it some consideration." He smiled at her.

"And until then-" He turned to the slayer and monk, shamelessly listening. "I will stay until she decided to leave with me." He gave them a smile as well, causing Sango to blush.

"Er- Shouldn't we get going?" Kagome asked as she rose to her feet. "Shippo is out there…" She gathered up her supplies and placed them in her bag. As she was about to swing it over her back, she felt the weigh of it lift out of her hands.

"Eh?" She turned to see Kyo maneuvering it onto his own shoulders. "Kyo, I can carry that myself."

"Why would you do that?" He asked, eye brow raised in question. "I keep telling you- you need to let me take care of you."

"But-"

"Nope." He shook his head. "No buts. Lets go."

~.~

"Inuyasha! Get a hold of yourself!" The fox screamed, jumping onto his shoulder.

It was dangerous. He knew that.

Inuyasha was bordering on becoming a full demon; loosing all sense of rational thought.

It was risky to approach him when he was in this state; deadly to touch him when his sense were on high alert.

But he couldn't let the hanyou transform, not if he wanted her to save Kagome.

He watched as the red eyes flashed yellow, finally settling into an amber.

He could hear Inuyashas ragged breathing; he knew that he was trying his hardest to stay in control.

In a speed that only a demon was capable of, he gripped Shippo, protecting him from falling as he jumped into the trees.

"What do you mean she's dying? He ground out, trying to sniff out the trail Shippo had left.

"She- Shes-"

"Say it clearly."

Upon hearing the foxes confession, it didn't matter how much pain he was in.

He had to find her. Had to save her.

"She's been ill, ever since…"

Amber eyes cut to look at the kit. Why couldn't he be a little more straight forward?

"Ever since you kidnapped her in her demon form."

"I did what?" His heart was pounding. "When did I-?"

A shot of pain bolted through him, causing him to stop. He brought a shaking clawed hand up to his head.

Fuck, it hurt like hell.

"Inuyasha?" Shippo furrowed his brows in concern, craning his neck to get a better look.

"I'm fine." He said, trying to stop the fox from his questions. "Tell me what happened."

"Y-you just took her. I- I wasn't there. Ky- I mean-" Shippo stumbled on his words. "Get going!" He demanded. "I can talk as you run, dummy!" Inuyasha growled in response.

"So get talking then. I'm losing my damn patience."

"Oh, you had some?" Shippo countered dryly.

"Fucking pest." The hanyou mumbled.

Shippo let out a deep breath as he gripped Inuyashas hoari tighter.

"We hadn't seen you in a long time. Months." He swallowed. "I guess you came running at her in full demon form and just took her."

"Months?" He echoed.

Months?

That couldn't- that couldn't be right. He couldn't have left Kagome…

He felt an ache in his heart, a throbbing indicator that he knew, deep in his gut that the kit was telling the truth.

But it didn't make sense.

Why would he leave her? HOW could he leave her?

And for fucking months!

Did she-

Did she ask him to leave?

He had so many questions, all of them swirling around his head as he tried to keep up to Shippo.

"Yeah, months." He gave him a strange look. "You really don't remember?"

"Never mind that." It could wait. He could piece together that shit later. "Tell me about Kagome."

"S-so I guess when you took her- Y-you-" He could hear the beating of Shippos heart pick up. "While you were a full demon you tried to mate her."

"I tried to-"

"Actually, you did." He cut in, correcting his earlier statement. "Thats why she's dying. It went wrong."

Inuyasha felt sick.

What had he done? What the fuck had he done to her?!

"So this is my fault?" Inuyasha said darkly. "I've done this to her… Why the fuck would you bring me back? I should be as far from her as I can!"

"It is your fault." The fox confirmed. "But you can save her."

"Me?" He asked.

How could he face her? How could he go to her, when it was him who put her in this position? Him and his stupid, animalistic ways. If he wasn't such a pathetic half demon, he would have more control of himself.

"Yeah, you, you idiot." Shippo spat.

"You should find someone else." He said without breaking his pace. "I have no right to-"

"It has to be you." Shippo said firmly. "It can _only_ be you."

"What do I have to do?"

"Myouga said if you mate her- the right way- again that you might be able to save her."

"I- I can't do that!" Inuyasha became filled with anxiety. How could he even ask that of him? What if he failed? What if-

"Inuyasha, if you don't, you'll be responsible for killing her. Is that what you want?" He screeched, pulling at his silver hair.

"Obviously that ain't what I want!" He sneered. "How can I- How can-" He struggled to say the words.

How could he bind Kagome to him, not just for the rest of her natural life, but for all of eternity? A mating ritual… it is a unalterable connection of the souls, for this lifetime and the next.

 _Mate._ His demand sang.

She had been his mate all along. His demon had claimed her before he did.

There was no one he wanted more; no one who even compared.

How could he ask that of her now?

As much as he loved her, he wouldn't have asked her to begin with.

Because he loved her, he wouldn't.

But now-

Now that he had committed this crime… taken her in his demon form…

He had no right to even lay his eyes on her, let alone claim her as his.

"If you want to save her, then you will." Shippo cut in. "Please Inuyasha…" As he begged, he sounded like the child he was; begging for the life of his family. "Don't be selfish. For once, put her first."

"That's what I'm trying to do!" He spat.

"Then hurry up and find her. You have to perform the mating ritual right." He said. "Find her, and save her."

Get it right?

Fuck, he hardly knew what to do in the first place. How the hell was he supposed to know what he did _wrong?_

He tried to think- tried to remember- but nothing was coming back to him.

He could remember Kagome- he could remember everything they had survived.

But for the life of him, he could remember the last time he had seen her. It felt like so long. In his heart, he felt as if he had been searching for her for quiet some time.

He retraced his memories, to the last time he had seen her.

Smiling.

The sun behind her as it began to set.

She was grabbing his hand, pulling him towards her, a look of mischief in her eyes.

He knew that look well. Gods, how he loved it.

He could feel the sting of tears building up as he tried to suppress it. Why was he crying? Why would that memory hurt so badly?

The pain again.

Any time he tried to probe further, it burned.

He needed to focus. He needed to remember what the fuck had happened.

He needed to save her.

~.~

Kikyo walked up the hill, over looking the small village below.

She could feel him; she had for some time. As she hunted her prey, she became aware that she was someone else's.

She decided to lure him to a place far from people.

No need to entangle them in the spiders web.

"What is it you wish to say, Naraku?"

She did not craw her bow, nor even think of it.

Naraku would not hurt her. He did not come for a battle, she could tell that much.

And whether he was a puppet, or hiding behind the mask himself, she was in no state to fight. She had not collected souls yet.

"So, you noticed me?" The monkey chuckled, coming out of the shadows. "I must admit, I was wondering if your skills were beginning to dull. Or perhaps they have been, since coming back. Tell me, are you bitter that death has made you-"

"What is it you want, Naraku?" She repeated.

"I could't help but notice that Inuyasha is no longer with you." He said calmly. The pale miko raised her brows, only slightly.

"So, you were watching us then."

He gave a small laugh. "Always."

"So, you chose to come out of hiding, to inform me that my companion is gone?"

"I came to tell you how to get him back."

"I do not need your aid-"

"But I think you do." He cut in. "You've failed on your own."

"A miscalculation. And none of your concern."

"Take it as advice. Your spell will never work. Not with the reincarnation alive." He watched as she sized him up and down, saying nothing. He took it as a signal to continue.

"His bond to her is too strong. If she lives, he will continue to seek her out. In order to erase his memories, the girl must die."

"And what do you receive from this? What benefit are you gaining?"

Naraku laughed again.

"The hanyou losing the woman he loves? The pain that that would create… the misery…"

"That he would not remember." Kikyo said.

"But I will." He supplied. "However, there is one small issue to this plan." Naraku paused. "You cannot kill her."

Kikyo could practically see the smile on his face.

"The one who casts the spell cannot be responsible for taking the life of the one being erased. Probably to avoid situations like this, eh?"

"I am aware." She said, getting rather annoyed.

"So bring the girl to me." He said. "I will end the girl."

Yes, he would kill her.

And bring her back.

He would plant a shard in her, just as he had done to the boy.

He would use her; oh the plans he had.

She could collect the shards. She could gather them under his control.

And when the time was right, she could taunt the hanyou, and bring him to his demise.

Kikyo looked at him, debating whether or not she should fall into his trap. She was not such a fool as to think he did not have an ulterior motive. She wondered it if mattered.

She made no notice of her shards turning dark as she made her decision.

A/N:: Thank you all so much for the reviews! I am so sorry it has taken me so long to get this up; I've been swarmed with school work and finals. I will try to get at least a chapter out a month. Your reviews always mean so much to me. I am genuinely touch with each and every one.


	19. Chapter 19

Inuyasha leapt through the trees, cradling Shippo in his arms. From the motion of his steady running along with how exhausted he had been from caring for the hanyou, the young boy fell into a deep sleep.

He had ran through the night, the dark hours slipping into daylight. His body felt fatigued; he was still in pain from the time he had spent unconscious, the pain he suffered every time he tried to piece together what happened.

From what Shippo had said he had been away for a long time. It didn't take a genius to figure out why they wanted him to keep his distance now, but he didn't understand why he was apart from the group to begin with. Had they exiled him? Finally realized that a hanyou was unsavory company?

Inuyasha shook his head, clearing away his thoughts.

No, his friends wouldn't do that.

 _She_ wouldn't do that.

How many times had he doubted her, pushed her away due to his fears, only to have her pull him in deeper? How many times had he cursed his hanyou features, only for her to kiss his killer claws?

He was afraid to hold her, afraid to hurt her with his razor sharp weapons; yet she laced her fingers around his, commenting on how those very hands protected her. Saved her.

Made her feel safe.

Gods, what had he done to her?

The anger he felt welling inside himself, the utter anger and disgust that he had taken her- hurt her- fuck it was too much!

Shippo said that he was the key to saving her, and he had no fucking clue how to do it.

He couldn't handle the thought of her dying. Couldn't bare the mental image of her lying down, hands limp at her sides the stench of death clouding her.

He-

The hanyous eyes grew wide as he picked up speed. The leaves from the trees becoming nothing but a blur of green. It didn't matter. He knew the way. He had her scent.

He had found her.

~.~

"Can you detect his scent Kirara?"

The fire cat looked up at Sango and gave a small mew.

It was faint, but it was there.

"We need to cover a decent amount of ground. I hate to think of him out there on his own." Kagome said, her voice sad.

"I know that it is worrisome, but remember that Shippo is a demon." Miroku said sympathetically.

"He's still just a kid." Sango cut in.

"True, but his instincts are keener than ours. He will not go hungry, and he can travel further and faster."

"But its dangerous… He's so little!" Kagome drew in her bottom lip as she worried it.

"Which can be to his advantage. Do not underestimate young Shippo. He has more tricks up his sleeves than he lets on. You girls often baby him." The monk lightly reprimanded. Kagome rolled her eyes in response.

"Now you sound like Inuyasha."

"He may have been thick headed and stubborn… and the biggest idiot I have ever known…but he did have a point about this."

"Just like you to defend that moron." The slayer said in a tight voice.

"I simply speak the truth, my dear Sango." He gave her a small smile.

Kagome opened her mouth to speak, ready to defend the hanyou, even when she disagreed with him; but the words died on her lips.

She could sense him before she saw him; A chill ran up her spine from the familiar feeling.

He was here.

Inuyasha was back.

She tried to steady herself, tried to quell the frantic beating of her heart.

She waited.

For what seemed like an eternity, she waited.

He was behind her, simply standing his ground.

Slowly, she turned his way.

~.~

She was standing. Breathing. Living.

She was here.

He had prepared himself to see her on her deathbed, just as the kit had described.

He prepared himself for the stench of death.

He prepared himself to be unprepared for the sight of her.

He hadn't expected this.

She was in front of him.

Kagome.

His beautiful priestess; the woman from the future pulled to the past.

She was in front of him, allowing him only the view of her back.

Inuyasha felt unsteady, reluctant to make a move or sound.

The world around him went dark. She alone stood out.

There was only Kagome.

Only her.

He could feel his heart pounding, threatening to burst from his chest.

He felt as if he had been here before; done this before.

Like Kagome had always been out of his reach.

Slowly, painstakingly slowly, she turned to look at him.

The hanyou tried to swallow, his mouth dry. He could feel his muscles shaking. He worried he was going to fall to his knees from the mere sight of her.

Why did it seem like he hadn't laid eyes on her for an eternity?

His demon was discontented; it screamed at him to embrace her, thrashed against his consciousness rivaling for control. He wouldn't waste this opportunity. It snarled at him, claiming he had known what to do all along.

None of it made sense.

Why didn't she move?

Why did her eyes look like that? Had- had he ever seen such hurt in them?

Was that because of him?

What he did?

The world around them was nonexistent; it was just the two of them.

He was afraid if he didn't reach out to her, she would fade into the nothingness.

Just like before.

 _Just like before?_

The question hurt; fuck, it killed! But he couldn't tear his eyes from her. He needed to focus.

He needed to touch her; validate that the woman before him was real.

~.~

She was shaking; He was here.

Inuyasha… was really in front of her.

The shock was still coursing through her body, but she was aware enough to survey him.

His eyes were golden. There were no streaks across his cheeks.

He was himself.

And he was okay.

The last time she had seen him… he was ill. Screaming in pain.

She had left him in Kikyos care; she had left… because it was what was good for him.

The time she had spent with him in the cave… truly, the only demon that was there was her.

And the pain she had caused him… the selfish acts she had engaged in…

Had he come to condemn her?

Had she caused some irreversible damage to him?

Kagome could feel the sting of her unshed tears.

Despite the pain, Gods-

She was so happy to see him.

The man she loved, with every ounce of her… she finally could see him-

' _Should you cross paths, you must choose to turn the other way. You will only bring him to a place he does not wish to be, and a pain that I cannot guarantee I can mend.'_

Kikyos words rang through her mind.

She was vile. Even with the priestess warning in mind, the vow she had given to turn away, she still couldn't gather the courage to leave him.

Selfish and spineless to the end.

And then she heard it, the shaky voice that called out her name, a direct hit to her heart.

"K-Kagome…"

~.~

He couldn't stand it any longer.

He needed to touch her, needed to bring her small frame against his body, touch her flesh to affirm that she was real.

He wanted to bury his nose into the crook of her neck, overdose in her intoxicating scent.

He wanted to apologize, wanted to fill in the gaps in his memory.

He wanted to cry, from happiness that she was alive, the pure joy in seeing her, the pain he felt without her- he wasn't sure which.

He let out a deep breath, confidence building as he inhaled; _wild flowers_.

Taking a step forward, he called out to her, hating the sound of his voice as it trembled.

"K-Kagome…"

He watched as her eyes grew wide, his chest tightening. He was drawn to her like a magnet.

But as he took that step, the connection was shattered.

Something had gotten in his way.

 _Someone._

Inuyasha's amber eyes quickly darted, making note of the people around him.

The slayer. The cat. the monk.

Then who the fuck was this?

He heard a growl so deep and angry, he hardly recognized it as his ow.

A stranger stood before him, blocking his view of Kagome- _his Kagome-_ The mans arms out stretched to shield her.

Hard, unforgiving brown eyes dared to meet his as he spoke. "Stay the Hell away from her."


	20. Chapter 20

Shippo blinked open tired eyes, trying to make sense of his surroundings. One minute he had been riding with Inuyasha- he must have fallen asleep- and then next he was abruptly dropped to the ground. It seemed to happen in slow motion; He saw Kyou stretch out his arms, blocking Kagome from Inuyashas view. The next thing he knew the dog demon pounced on the human. As the kit focused his attention panic flooded his body.

Inuyasha had Kyou pinned to a tree, his clawed hand wrapped around the mans neck, slightly raising him off the ground; Shippo could see the restraint the hanyou was using, as the muscles in his arm flexed.

He looked utterly fearsome, his upper lip drawn up to reveal his fangs, a nasty snarl coming from deep inside his chest. Shippo couldn't see the look in Inuyashas eyes, but he wagered it was one reserved for the likes of Naraku.

Why hadn't he told Inuyasha about Kyou? Why hadn't he given him some kind of warning? Instead, he had fallen asleep, like a tired little child.

Kyou was hopelessly trying to pry the deadly claws away from his neck, yet in his desperation he did not back down, did not show fear- at least not in the way that Shippo had expected.

"Inuyasha!" The voices seemed to blur into one, the sounds coming at him from all angles.

"Who the fuck are you?!" He growled. His voice was low, terrifying. It would have been less unnerving if the hanyou had screamed.

"Inuyasha! Let him go!" Sango screeched.

"How can you expect him to answer you in this state?" Miroku reasoned.

Kagome felt frozen in place. One minute they were talking, normal as can be. The next, Inuyasha blazed into her life, pinning her friend against a tree, hungry for blood and explanations.

"I-Inuyasha!" His ears twitched and turned in her direction as she rushed to his side. "Put him down!" Shaky hands reached up to rest on his arm.

Just the mere touch from her, her small dainty hands- it was enough to sway him, enough to focus his attention elsewhere.

He whipped his head to look at her; her blue eyes were filled with concern. He turned to look back at the man in his grip, snarling.

"Please, Inuyasha." She gripped his fire rat, her voice sounding small; scared. He could smell the panic rise in her scent, the fear. His demon was demanding he spill blood- the bastard challenged him! But more than that-

He didn't want to see Kagome like this. Not if he could help it.

He glanced back and forth once more, letting out a frustrated yell.

"FUCK!" He spat, releasing Kyou to fall to the ground. The dog demon turned on his heels to face Kagome.

"Who is he?" He asked, his voice deadly.

"Inuyasha, why-" Miroku tried, only to earn a growl in response.

"Who. Is. He?" He repeated, amber eyes fixed on hers.

"My name is Kyou." The man spoke, standing to face the hanyou. "And I meant what I said- stay away from her."

Kagome had seen many expressions over the years from the hanyou, but rage- pure rage- was not one she saw often. Anger, yes. Hatred- saved for Naraku and Sesshomaru. But rage- the kind that destroys the soul… that rage was about to find an outlet in Kyou.

"You fucking-!"

"SIT!" She screamed in a panic. The beads pulled the dog demons body down to the ground with a heavy thump. "SIT! SIT!" She cried out.

Kyou looked at the beast before him, once ready to tear his flesh limb from limb, taken down so easily by a mere word.

"Kagome, while he his down, let us take our leave-" He took her elbow to lead her away.

"You bas-"

"No!" She screamed firmly, shaking the man away "I-Im okay."

"Kagome-" He tried, only to have the demon rise up before him. Kyou straightened his back, hoping he looked braver than he felt.

"Inuyasha, let him be!" Kagome screamed, grasping at him. Miroku and Sango came to her side.

"Let Kyou be, Inuyasha. Don't make us use force." The slayer said.

"You threatening me?" He asked.

"Only if you can't get a grip on yourself!" She replied.

"My friend, you must calm yourself." Miroku interjected. "You are dangerously close to losing control."

"Why wont any one tell who the fuck this asshole is?!" He asked.

"I'm-"

"He's a friend!" Kagome said quickly, causing the hanyou to look her way. "A friend."

This wasn't going the way he wanted.

He was unsure of many things, missing a gap of time, many of his memories fractured. He had no idea how long he had been away, and who this asshole was who easily stepped in his place.

But he knew this wasn't the way to go about it.

More than anything, he wanted Kagome.

As angry as his demon was, as hurt as his human heart felt… all sides of him were in agreement- they needed her. Alone. He needed to hold her, breathe in her scent. He needed to confirm she was real… that she was here… Every part of him ached to have her.

Inuyasha took a deep breath and backed away from the group of people suffocating him. He crouched down and looked over his shoulder. He did the only thing he could think to do.

He called to her.

"Kagome?"

His amber eyes had cooled; they were tired. Sad. His was in control and no longer a danger. He was asking her, after all this time, to get on his back and whisk her away. She looked at him, considering his silent plea.

"You can't seriously think that-"

Inuyasha couldn't hear the rest of Sangos words; The miko had climbed onto his back, taking the bait. As soon as her hands touched his shoulders, his feet left the ground.


	21. Chapter 21

Thank you for those of you who messaged and commented about the formatting!

And thank you as always for reading and reviewing 3!

Kagome could not believe her weak resolve.

Just like that, she had crawled on his back. He beckoned, she came.

Just like that.

They had taken flight into the cover of the trees, the shocked faces of their friends long gone; the familiar position, the feel of his claws on her thighs, her hands gripping his broad shoulders. Only this time, his hands seemed unsteady; every so often, he would grip her flesh a little tighter, just to ensure she was there. She felt nervous and anxious, glad that her face was pressed against his back. She wasn't sure she could look him in the eye- not yet.

She had asked how he was, his health the first thing on her mind. She didn't know what effect remembering her was having on him; Kikyou had warned her that if she cared for Inuyasha, she would keep her distance, lest he be triggered. Yet there she was, on his back; Selfish to the end. He had muttered that he was fine, but had failed to elaborate anymore on the topic and the conversation quickly died.

How was she going to talk to him about what transpired? How was she to adequately beg his forgiveness? There was no justification for her sins; no atonement that could be made. Even still, she breathed him in. His woodsy scent, the slight sweat from running, mixed with something wholly _Inuyasha._ She gripped his fire rat tighter, getting high off of the contact, feeling sick from the guilt.

Inuyasha finally came to a stop. He didn't want to, not really.

He had faced demons thrice his size, cut down beasts he was sure he had to chase against. He had gone face to face with Naraku, as well as claimed his brothers arm in combat. Yet now, as the petite woman slid down from his back, he was afraid. He could hear her unsteady breathing, could smell her nervous state.

Was she afraid to be with him… because of what he had done to her?

They were faced towards each other, not far in distance physically, but it felt like a mile apart. He couldn't bring himself to look at her. His amber eyes scanned the ground, focusing on her small shoes, her pale legs. He had to work up the courage to speak- to look her way… His mouth was dry, the words sticking in his throat. He couldn't figure out the right thing to do; he had brought her here, hadn't he? Had he used up all the nerve he had in that single move?

And then all at once, she was on her knees before him, head bowed low to the ground. Apologizing.

Kagome… was apologizing?

"Wh- What are you doing?!" He panicked, utterly confused. His stomach was in knots seeing her in such a humiliating position.

"I-I'm so sorry Inuyasha!" She said, her voice bursting out. "I know you can't… that I don't deserve your forgiveness… but Im so sorry…"

He could smell the salt, hear the sound of her small sobs. "

Kagome, stop it!" He begged, gripping her arm in an attempt to lift her. She swatted him away. His amber eyes grew wide as she continued to hold her position.

He hated this. He had no clue what was happening, why on Earth she was begging for _his_ forgiveness, but he knew he needed to stop.

"STOP IT KAGOME!" He barked, this time pulling her towards him into is lap. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Blue eyes looked up, soaked with tears. Wide and shocked from finally seeing him.

"You- You don't remember… do you?" She asked.

Inuyasha slowly shook his head, still holding on to her, fearful she was run away.

There was a gap of time missing… and he was unsure about so many things. He had no idea how long they had been separated, why… and who the fucking hell that bastard was- Was that why she was sorry? Because of him? His nostrils began to flare as his thoughts ran wild.

"Did- Did something happen with that asshole?" He managed to say.

"What?" She asked, trying to piece together his thoughts. "Wait, what? Oh, No! No Inuyasha- listen-"

"Who is he?" He asked again, his question still unanswered. His mind was spinning.

"I told you. He's a friend." She said. "Inuyasha… thats not what-" She bit her lip, trying to find her nerve.

"I should be the one apologizing to you." He said, his silver bangs covering his eyes.

"Eh?"

"Because of me… and what I did… you almost died.." He said darkly. "Because I couldn't fucking control myself-"

"No Inuyasha, you have it wrong." Kagome cut in. "Its my fault… because I- I shouldn't have let that happen. You were not in control… and it had been so long since I had seen you-" She covered her face with her hands as she began to cry. "I- I- I took advantage of you-"

"Advantage? Of me?" He echoed. "Are you fucking out of your mind?! I was completely demon- you couldn't of stopped me if you tried!"

"But I didn't. I… I didn't want you to stop." She admitted.

"You couldn't of stopped me." He said darkly.

"That doesnt-" She took a deep breath. "That doesn't excuse my part. If you had been in your right mind… you wouldn't … you wouldn't have wanted to be…intimate with me."

Inuyasha blinked several times, trying to make sense of what the woman in his arms had said. He was at a total loss of words. The woman he had pined after for years, wanted so badly he ached. Dreamed about, obsessed over. The woman he loved. His Kagome. He wouldn't have wanted her? The woman who drove him to the brink of madness with ecstasy, showed him acts of pleasure he couldn't have imagined… the woman who sought him out in the night just to be held by him… and he, comforted by her small smiles, the soft scent of her hair, how happy he became just by hearing her laugh.

He didn't want her?

"What?" The only response he could think of.

"If you hadn't of been full demon… you wouldn't have chosen me for a mate." She explained.

"Bullshit." He said, cutting her off.

"Its true." She said, a small sad smile on her lips. "I- I shouldn't even be with you now." She said, wiping away the tears. She tried to stand, only to be pulled back down. He looked her hard in the eyes.

"What the hell are you talking about? How the fuck do you know what _I_ want?"

"Inuyasha- you-" She bit her bottom lip before continuing. "You left… You broke up with me."

"What?" He said once more. It seemed to be the only thing he could say today. "I wouldn't do that."

Kagome shrugged. "But you did. Al-Almost a year now."

A… A year? A year without her?

"Thats why I know if you were in your right mind, you wouldn't have slept with me. You wouldn't have mated me."

"Kagome!-"

"I took advantage of you- Because I wanted you." She rushed, "Because Im selfish. Because I missed you… Because I love you. I- Im so sorry." She started to cry once again.

"Kagome… I dont… I dont remember any of this." He confessed. "But-"

"Its because-"

"BUT-" He cut her off, grasping her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. "I know that you have nothing to feel sorry for. Kagome, I don't know- fuck I don't understand what the hell happened. All I have ever wanted was you."

He looked so honest and sincere.

It hurt.

Gods, it hurt.

"No. Inuyasha… You love Kikyo."

"Seriously-"

Again? They were doing this again?

She just nodded.

"I loved her once… maybe. I don't even know." He shook his head. "What I felt for her was nothing like how I feel for you."

Kagome stood up, frantic to get some space.

"Inuyasha, you need to go back to her. You _love_ her. Kikyo. Not me."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" He accused.

"What? No!" "Is it that guy from before? Someone back at your house?" He raged.

"What on Earth are you talking about!" She countered, voice rising to meet his. "Youre confused right now. You need to go back to Kikyo."

"Stop trying to tell me what the Hell I want!" He said angrily. "I want to be with-"

"You wanted to be with her so much, that you left me without so much as an explanation. You broke it off with me so easily. You love Kikyo so much- felt so much guilt- you-"

"I?"

"You asked her to erase your memories of me."

Clawed hands reached to cover his ears, the blasted ringing so loud and high pitched the hanyou fell to the ground, suddenly unconscious.


	22. Chapter 22

"Inuyasha?!" The voice called from over him. "Inuyasha! Wake up!"

He could hear her.

Thank the Gods, he could hear her.

Kagome hadn't left.

He took a deep breath, inhaling her sweet scent.

"Im awake." He grumbled. "Relax."

"A-Are you okay?!" She panicked. "You fell to the ground so suddenly…"

"I'm fine." He reassured, slowly sitting up.

"But-"

Her words were cut short; The hanyou reached out his clawed hands, pulling her small frame into his arms.

"In-Inuyasha…" She stuttered. "L-Let me go."

"I cant." He admitted. "You're so anxious. Your scent is putting me on edge. I wont let you go until you calm down."

"If that's the case then let me go!" She screamed, pushing against his chest. "Of course I'm anxious! I haven't seen you in months, and all of a sudden you reappear, collapse and now you're- you're hugging me! I shouldn't even be near you! Its too dangerous for you!"

He growled as he held her arms, looking her in the eyes.

"What makes you think Im so fragile? Have I ever needed protecting before?!"

Kagome set her jaw and challenged him with a fierce look.

"Do you want an honest response?"

"Wench-"

"Look Inuyasha, it doesn't matter what you _think_ you need. The fact is, you passed out-"

"Briefly."

"Because of _me._ You shouldn't be with me." Her voice became low, sad. "You should go back."

He gripped her tighter. "Like hell."

"Inu-"

"What makes you think I'd leave you?" He ground out.

"You did it before."

"I don't remember that."

"But I do." She said. "And you did." She said a bit more gently.

"I wouldn't- There must be a reason…"

Blue eyes met amber; raging fire against the serenity of water. The smile on her face was one of the most bittersweet images he had ever seen.

"Isn't love reason enough?"

~.~

"Shouldn't we go after them?" Kyou asked. He had spent the better part of the day pacing; he wanted to leave, wanted to find them and tear that monster away from her more than anything…

But he had no idea where to go. No idea where to look. He hated the idea of Kagome alone with him.

After what she had endured… why would she willingly go with him? No matter how he looked at it, it made no sense.

"Kagome left on her own. It's not our place to chase after them." Miroku said.

"But what if-"

"He's an idiot- and an insufferable jackass and-"

"Sango" The monk cut in, reprimanding the slayer.

"BUT, he wont hurt her." She said begrudgingly.

"She's right." The fox agreed.

"It doesn't matter- she should not be alone with him!"

"While I agree with you, I believe our motives may be slightly different." Miroku said.

"What?" Kyou responded.

"Hes saying jealousy is looks bad on you." Said Sango.

"So does stupidity." Shippo said, chiming in. "You're nuts if you think Kagome would give up inuyasha for you."

In the time they had spent together, Kyou had never felt as if he was part of the group; he hadn't felt unwelcomed, but certainly an outsider. He was not part of their exclusive world, their stories and adventures that made the history and backbone of their bond. He had pain, but it was not the linking connection of a shared one.

It didn't matter. Not really.

He came for justice, for revenge.

He stayed for her.

As long as she knew he was serious, that he meant to take her as his bride… it didn't matter if he was part of their exclusive circle. What mattered was that she was under his care.

And just when he thought he was making some progress, a crazed dog demon pinned him to a tree and shot off into the canopy with his woman on his back.

"Don't be cruel, Shippo." The monk said, lecturing the kit. "You cant know for sure what is in Kagomes heart."

"But judging by the turn of events, we could take a guess." Sango said, her tone sharp.

"She will come back unharmed." He reassured.

"Its not the physical part Im worried about." Sango added. "It's the emotional ramifications im concerned with."

It was killing Kyou to just stand around, but presently, he could do nothing but bide his time.

~.~

"I'm not leaving." He said, folding his arms across his chest.

He wouldn't do it; he wouldn't leave her. Not again.

Not that he remembered doing it in the first place.

But she was right- she had to be. Why would she make it up? When had he ever known her to be a liar?

"Ugh! Aside from the fact that I still think its in the best interest of your health to leave, you're missing part of your memory- you know- the part where you left me because your in love with Kikyo!" She screamed. "So go!"

"Feh. Fat chance."

"Do you know how difficult this is for me?" She asked. "This is cruel- Do you know how hard it is to tell you to leave?" her breathing was heavy, labored. Inuyasha stalked to her, pressing her back against the trunk of a tree, caging her in with his arms.

"Then don't."

There was a fire burning in his eyes, slow and smoldering.

Gods, was he hard to resist.

"I have to." She said solemnly. "Because right now, I know better than you. And when your memory comes back… you can look back and remember that I tried to do the right thing here." The corners of her lips turned upwards slightly. Maybe this could atone for some of her sins. "I cant be with you, Inuyasha."

"Cant or wont?" His voice was gruff and angry; but underneath, Kagome could hear the pain. The Inuyasha right now was in the same mind set as before he vanished. And that Inuyasha was currently being rejected.

"Both." She felt the warm tears trailing down her cheeks. "I love you, but both."

He looked at her for a long moment, processing what she had said, the reality of their situation.

"I wont leave you, Kagome. We can go back, but I wont leave."

"I can't- we cant-"

"I'll wait." He said. "Ill prove it to you."

She shook her head sadly.

"I'm sorry." He said, eyes drawn to the ground. "I'm so sorry Kagome. I- I don't know what happened…" The hanyou looked up, demanding eye contact. His golden eyes looked hard and determined. "But I wont leave you. I wont make any demands of you- but I- I need to be near you."

"Inuyasha…"

"I know I constantly fuck up, and I always make things unfair- and ask too much of you, But bare with my selfishness a little longer… please."

Kagome felt drained and defeated.

She never could win against him, not when he looked at her that way.

"As friends?" She asked.

The dog demon nodded in response.

"If… If its okay with the others…. Its okay with me."

Inuyasha turned and knelt. The familiar feeling of the weight of her body pressed against his, her small hands gripping his shoulder in anticipation of lift off. He wasn't sure why, but it felt like the first time he had breathed easy in a long time.

~.~

A/N:: Thank you everyone for your reviews! It definitely helps motivate me to write! Im so excited that the story has hit this point- Ive had a very clear idea of what I wanted to do with the characters after the meeting, and Im hoping you all love it! Thanks for reading, and I will update soon!


	23. Chapter 23

"So, you think you can come back, just like that?" The slayer huffed.

"It appears Inuyasha thinks us easy people, dear Sango." Miroku said.

"Feh, you just figuring that out now?" He chided.

"You're not helping your case." Kagome furrowed her brows at the hanyou.

"What an idiot." Shippo folded his hands over his chest.

"You're the one who rushed to bring me back." Inuyasha said, looking at the kit.

"Because of what you did to Kagome!" He screeched. "Not that it mattered Kagome-"

"Pulled through on her own. Lets not talk of it anymore." The monk cut in. "The matter at hand is if we should accept Inuyasha back into our company."

"Feh, company. This started out as just me and the wench. Then it snowballed into this disaster."

"You really don't know how to ask for forgiveness, do you?" Sango asked.

"Will that do it?"

"Who knows." She said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Look- I never intended to hurt anyones feelings. At least I don't think so." He scratched the back of his head. "You should know by now you guys are… _important_ to me." He said it a bit lower, as if it was shameful to have those he cared about. Sango and miroku looked at each other in surprise, while Shippo and Kirara raised their eyebrows in mild shock. The hanyou was not often so honest. It caused Miroku to mumble out a response.

"W-Well if there no objections then-"

"Wait, I have a few." Kyou said, stepping forward.

"Who are you?" Inuyasha asked again.

"Kyou." He answered coldly. "And you're all insane if you think it's a good idea for him to join us!"

"Who the hell said you get a vote?" Inuyasha asked. "I don't recall asking for _your_ opinion."

"To be fair, Kyou has been with us for quite some time. He has helped and contributed. He should have some say in the matter."

"Whose side are you on here, monk?"

"The side of fairness." He said closing his eyes. "Let us hear Kyou out."

"Did you forget he kidnapped Kagome? She was on the brink of death-"

Kagome stepped in, putting her hand on his shoulder. The small touch drove Inuyasha wild with jealousy. Since they had been reunited, she had been so hesitant to touch him, so worried about being inappropriate. Yet she so easily reached out to _him_.

"Kyou, it may not seem like it from your point of view, but please do not think of Inuyasha that way. He has saved and protected me more times than I can count. I told you that day, didn't I? I knew he wouldn't hurt me."

Kyou turned to look at her, his eyes hard and unmoving.

"But he did."

"Then don't you think that if I can forgive him, you should too?" She smiled kindly at him. He noticed how the man faltered, how his blood boiled from it. "Inuyasha is a good person."

"I don't like this Kagome." He said.

"I didn't ask you to." Inuyasha interrupted. The scene had gotten much too cozy for his liking. "I asked for _their_ forgiveness, not yours." He turned to his so called friends.

"Lets just try to get along." Sango said. "The jewel is nearly complete. Can't we all be happy that Kagome is alright?"

Kagome blushed from Sangos words.

"Fat chance of that happening." Shippo said, jumping on the mikos shoulder. "When has Inuyasha ever been the type to get along?" The kits words earned him a nasty snarl.

"While its true that he can be… testy… there were many months of peace…" Miroku stroked his chin, wearing a lewd grin. "I wonder why that was…"

Kagome and Inuyasha blushed under the monks suspicions.

Miroku was fully aware of their relationship, or rather, what it had been. He knew Kagome was not going to go back… or so he hoped. He loved them both dearly, and wanted nothing more for them to be unified… however…

He knew that given Kagome's circumstances, she would have reservations before she jumped into anything. She was smart, with a bigger heart than her body could handle. He was proud to know her and call her a friend.

That's why it hurt so badly.

He wanted her to be happy, she _deserved_ to be happy. Why did it seem like with Kagome, it always came at such a great price?

"Don't go there, monk." Sango said, her eyes narrow. "You're going down a dangerous path."

"Perhaps if I tried their methods you would- OW!" The hayou smacked him before he could finish his lewd remark.

"And here I am fighting for you to stay!" He said.

"Feh."

"I still don't like it." Kyou huffed.

"Never been much of a people pleaser." Inuyasha said.

~.~

The day had been nothing short of awkward.

Scratch that, it was so awkward Kagome wanted to crawl into the well, time travel 500 years and leave all the tension behind.

After Inuyasha had been formally accepted back into the group and Kyou had made his displeasure more than obvious, they had decided they had wasted enough time and needed to hit the road.

Well, it was more like Inuyasha yelled at them for lollygagging and demanded they get moving.

Business as usual- being bossed around by a grumpy hanyou.

Except Kyou wasn't taking that.

 _"Who made you the leader?"_ He had asked.

That had been the wrong question.

Especially to a dog demon who was trying to reclaim his territory.

They had started to argue so badly that it took Kagome and Sango both pulling them apart make them stop. And when Kagome put her hand on Kyou's chest, urging him to back away…

Well, needless to say a certain demon snatched her wrist in a speed she was no longer used to. Had he always been so jealous? Or was it just that she was unaccustomed to it now?

She understood that as much as she was struggling, he was as well. For her… she had had months to deal with the loss of their relationship.

For Inuyasha, this was a new and raw break. As far as he was concerned, they hadn't been apart at all. In his mind, in his last memories, they were still a happy couple. No heartbreak, no sadness there. For him, their new, strained relationship was a shock.

Part of her expected him to run.

To take off for a few days and process what had happened.

But he didn't.

Instead he tried to stick to her like glue, and to keep everyone as far from her as possible.

It wasn't like she could say Kyou was acting any different.

When Inuyasha had bent down on his knee, lowering himself and offering his back…

It felt like second nature to Kagome. Without much thought, she had jumped on, his clawed hands gripping her bare thighs. It was something that had been torture for her in their early days; they feel of his hands, the danger and the closeness… it was difficult to dampen her desire before the hanyou caught wind of it. And then when they were together… Gods, how he would tease her. Running his hand higher, higher up her legs until he was caressing her ass, all the while managing to maintain composure and balance, while she was nearly falling off of him from his games. She had been riding his back from the moment they met. Getting back on was second nature.

And then Kyou commented how extremely inappropriate it was. How wild and bizzare that Inuyasha should be allowed to touch her bare skin, her thighs and she, ride on his back as he leapt from branch to branch.

It caused the hanyou to stop in his tracks.

He turned his head and narrowed his amber eyes, holding onto her a bit tighter.

And when Kyou had attempted to pull her down…

Kagome wasn't sure that she had ever heard him growl like that. He bared his teeth, as he clutched her closer.

 _"If you_ _ **ever**_ _dare to take her from me again, I will-"_

 _"Inuyasha, sit!"_

He fell to the ground, bringing Kagome with him.

 _"Damn it wench! What the hell!"_

 _"I've had it! You're both making me lose my mind!" Inuyasha rose up from the dirt to look her in the eyes._

 _"Well if this asshole didn't try to put his hands on you-"_

 _"Please, if I even look in her direction you act like you're ready to rip my eyes out!" Kyou shouted._

 _"Exactly! So stop fucking looking at her!" He screamed._

 _"She doesn't belong to you!" Kyou responded._

 _"Like Hell she-"_

 _"Sit!" Kyou said, a rather smug look on his face._

 _For a moment, no one moved. Inuyasha raised a brow, as the rest of the group tried to restrain their laughter. Finally, no longer able to control himself, he burst out laughing._

 _"Fucking idiot!"_

 _"Why didn't it-?"_

 _"It only works for_ _ **Kagome**_ _, you moron." Shippo said, jumping on his shoulder. Kyou blushed._

 _"Let him be." Miroku said. "How was he to know?"_

 _"So he thinks he has the right to use the beads on me? Like that would keep me from ripping his throat out?" Inuyasha showed a dangerous, toothy smile._

 _"You're bark is worse than your bite. Im not afraid of you. And I will protect Kagome from you!"_

 _"You fucking-"_

 _"SIT! SIT. SIT. SIIIIT!" Kagome screamed, walking over to Sango and Kirara._

 _"Where-?"_

 _"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" They asked at once._

 _"HOME!" She yelled, climbing on the fire cats back. "I've had it with you two!"_

 _Shippo and Miroku looked down at the pitiful pair._

 _"Bunch of idiots." Shippo said as he shook his head._

 _"They do it to themselves." The monk replied, a smirk on his lips._

So Kagome had left them, far below, and flew off with her best friend to travel back home.

She needed some space.

She needed some time away to clear her head.

She needed an hour long bath to contemplate this crazy life of hers.

"Thanks for running the bath mom!" She called down.

"No problem, sweet heart. I'm going to the store, and Gramps is out with Souta. Why don't you order something to eat?"

"Sounds great." She replied.

Kagome shut the door, climbing into the large tub. The hot water stung as she sank deeper.

What was she going to do?

Could Inuyasha and Kyou really coexist peacefully?

As much as she liked Kyou, and his offer was made with genuine feelings…

There was no way she could accept- or should accept… right?

And now that Inuyasha was back, was that even a question?

She had known long ago that he was possessive. It eas in his nature as a dog demon, but even more so as a _dog_ demon. They simply didn't share well. And it was one of the things that she loved about him.

She had also known from the get go that if there was to be a break, it would not be one from her side.

Aside from the fact that she loved the hanyou desperately, she also knew that if she was to leave him, he would find a way back to her.

That is, if his feelings were still the same.

No matter how many times she left in anger, running home 500 years into the future, he followed. Maybe not right away, but he was always at her heels.

When they had progressed their relationship it was even more intense. The fights and arguments were less often, but when the occurred and apologies were given… the make ups were all the sweeter.

No, she had always known that he would have to be the one to end things. Even when she had told him they needed a break, he was unable to keep his distance. Unable to sustain that barrier in their relationship for more than a month.

Back then, they seemed to need each other like oxygen.

Until suddenly, he didn't.

One day, out of the blue he left, a sly apology muttered to the wind.

No explanation. No room for a conversation.

He turned his back and was gone, leaving Kagome to puzzle out the situation on her own.

For so long she thought he would come back.

Day after day, she wondered when he would turn up.

But days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, and there was still no sign of the hanyou.

She began to lose hope, until finally, she had none at all. She had to accept that he was really gone.

And now, here he was.

And for a moment, she was ready to sink into his loving embrace. Ready to bury all of her hurt, put the past and present on pause and just… be. With him.

But it was selfish, and wrong.

If he wasn't going to return back to Kikyo, then she needed to create a barrier between them.

For his sake, and for hers.

If he left her once, he would do it again.

And really, was she any match for Kikyo?


	24. Chapter 24

Kyou couldn't sleep; although the dog demon was high in the branches of a tree, he could feel the hanyous eyes on him. His companions.

Her.

He didn't like it. He didn't like being watched over like a helpless child. And he certainly didn't like his eyes roaming all over Kagome.

He couldn't take it anymore; He stood up and turned to look in Inuyashas direction. He could see the gleam of his amber eyes in the dark. Predatory and hard.

Without hesitation, he stalked towards him.

"What-" He began, but just as quickly as the word left his lips the dog demon had leapt, feet on the ground and a large, clawed hand covering his mouth.

"Shut the hell up." He said, refusing to move his hand. The claws were so close to his skin; he could slice him to shreds with the flick of his hand. "You'll wake them."

"What are you doing?" Kyou asked in a heated whisper.

"Huh?" He looked at him as if he had just asked him whether it was day or night.

"Can't you just go to bed? I cant sleep knowing you're watching."

"Feh. Some people feel better knowing theres a look out."

"Not me."

"Not my problem." Inuyasha retorted.

"Why cant you just- Mph!" The clawed hand struck again, this time applying light pressure.

"Im waiting." He answered simply.

Kyou arched a brow, indicating for him to continue. The hanyou huffed.

"I'm waiting for Kagome." Inuyasha looked up for a moment, as if deciding if he would answer. "I'm waiting for her to kick her blankets off."

"What?" Kyou asked, narrowing his eyes.

"She turns a lot and kicks the covers off her, then gets cold in the night."

"Kagome doesn't do that." Kyou replied.

"Feh. Shows what you know." Inuyasha said. His voice was a whisper, but even at that volume it was deep and husky. "When the weather is warm like this she gets restless. In the winter, when its cold, she sleeps under her sleeping bag and physically cant kick them off. But in the summer she just uses a light blanket. So, I wait to cover her." His cheeks were slightly red at the admission.

He looked at the hanyou, who had moved his attention back to Kagome. Intently watching her, waiting for her to make a move in her sleep. Waiting to care for her, without her knowledge or consent. Kyou couldn't help but wonder how else the dog demon tended to her that he was unaware of.

"Then lets switch." Kyou looked up at him. "If its true, let me do it."

"Fuck off." He said simply. No venom, no malice. It was the tone you give to someone when theyre not treated as a threat.

"Why not? Its not your-"

"Kagome is mine." His voice was firm and final. "She's mine to take care of."

"She's not though." Kyou countered. "She doesn't belong-"

Inuyasha cut his eyes to look in Kyou's direction. Not for the first time, Kyou felt afraid of him. The demon. The possessive hanyou who staked a claim on a women he couldn't possibly have.

Inuyashas voice was low, calm. "Kagome is mine." He said. "Whether she's with me or not, she's mine." He stopped as the wind blew through his hair, washing over Kagome, causing her to move slightly. He didn't take his eyes off of her as he spoke. "I owe everything to her and I'd give anything for her. Shes the most important person in my life. So even if she's not with me, even if she doesn't… love me anymore… even then, she's mine. She doesn't have to reciprocate how I feel, but in my heart, for the rest of my life, shes mine. That won't change. And until the days comes when she tells me to leave, I'll watch over her. Even if it means just covering her up at night."

Kyou blushed as he listened to the dog demons honesty. It made him angry to hear him talk about the woman he loved so passionately.

"I doubt you'd leave." He said.

"Keh. You're probably right."

"You do realize how creepy that is, right?"

"Doesn't matter." He answered.

"What if it makes her unhappy?" Kyou asked. "Don't you want her to be happy?"

"Obviously."

"I could make her happy. I can give her things you cant. I can give her a normal life in my village. A family, a community. I can give her a home and stability. She can be happy with me."

Inuyasha looked at him, as if seeing him for the first time. A man. A rival.

"Stay the fuck away from her." He growled.

"You wouldn't give her up, if it was for her own good?"

"Since when has Kagome done whats good for her?" Inuyasha asked. "She-"

Inuyasha stopped as he heard the blankets rustle, the sound of them being kicked off of her. It exposed her bare thighs, the flat plains of her stomach as the shirt rode up from her twisting and turning. The dog demon walked over quietly, replacing the blanket gently. He walked back over to Kyou. He crossed his arms over his chest, as he took a deep breath.

"Kagome and the others seem to like you, so I wont kill you. Make no mistake, if you so much as think about anything with Kagome, ill make sure it's the last thing you do. Stay away from her."

"You're a monster." Kyou said.

"Im a demon. I protect whats mine."

With that, he leapt into the trees. Kyou could still feel his eyes on him, still feel the anger that was left behind. Not wanting to disrupt the others or further anger the demon, he laid down and went to sleep, leaving Kagome the furthest thing on his mind. After this, he was more firm in his belief that he had to get her away. More sure than ever.

~.~

He couldn't stand him.

No, it was more than that; it verged on the level of hate.

He hated the way that the hanyou seemed to take command, like it was his natural role in their group. He hated the way that he blended into their daily conversations, that his grunts and side remarks were met with anything less than contempt. He could be so rude!

So why was it that his friends acted as if it was almost an endearing trait?

There was also the fact that he was a demon. Kyou couldn't help but admit that it was unsettling. Sure, he was traveling around with a cat and fox demon… but the kit was a child. Small. And the cat had such a nonthreatening manner when she curled up, looking to cuddle. It was hard to think of them on the same level as…him.

Inuyasha.

The bastard that took Kagome, then left her naked and alone.

And now that he had rejoined them, he had taken her again.

Her attention, her laughter, her anger… sides of her he hadn't even known she had. The dog demon had come crashing into his life and it was seriously beginning to mess things up.

In some aspects, he felt bad for him. The guy was an idiot. He backed himself into corners in the most unbelievable ways. And he seemed to struggle with time. For him, it was as if he had been gone a day; for his friend, it seemed like a lifetime had passed. Things didn't match up, personalities were constantly clashing… Honestly, things were so much simpler before he came into the mix.

Most of all, he hated the way she paid attention to him.

She was a moth to a flame when it came to the dog demon. Her eyes naturally followed him, sought him out when they were apart. He couldn't help but think back on his memories with Kagome and the time they had spent together. Had she always been looking for him? Was Kyou that unaware? Was that the reason her gaze lingered, drifting up towards the branches of trees? This whole time… had she been looking for streaks of red, unable to look at what was straight in front of her?

He wondered how he could change it, wondered where he could find room to squeeze in, when he seemed to preoccupy her mind and heart.

Not that she let it show. Or so she thought.

For now, he would just have to find a way- find some way to make her forget about him.

He watched as she walked over to him. She wore a smile on her face and held a book in her hands.

"Kyou! Did you want to continue with the lesson?"

Kagome had been helping him with his studies. In the short time he had been with her, he had learned how to read, how to write. He had difficulty believing that he was able to have such a skill. After all, he was just a fisherman- what would he do with this knowledge?

 _'I can give you books! And you can teach the people in your village back home.'_ She had said it so easily. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. Watching her teach, knowing the extent of her education… it made her even more like a God than she already was.

"Yes, please." He answered. He didn't want to seem too eager.

They sat side by side for some time, blissful. The sun was shining, the wind gave a pleasant breeze, and the company was good.

Good, until a dark shadow fell over them.

"What are you doing?" He asked, his arms folded across his chest. "Kagome needs to study. Quit buggin her."

"Study?" She echoed.

"Kagome was the one who offered to teach me. And none of it is your business." Kyou replied.

"She doesn't have time to be teaching you." He responded.

"Um, actually-" She started, looking his way. "I'm actually finished with school. I graduated." She gave a nervous smile.

A series of strange things happened next; first, the hanyou furrowed his brows together, as if trying to work out what Kagome had said. When it seemed to click, when he finally got it, his face lit up. He smiled at her, genuine and happy. Yet just as it came, it left. He knit his eyebrows together once more, as if working out some equation.

Really, it would've been funny, if it had been anyone but him.

"I cant believe you're finally done." He said. His tone was low, but happy. "Congratulations. You worked hard."

Kagome blushed a deep red.

"Th-Thank you." She said. "It's not a big deal. Back home its pretty much expected."

"Are you kidding?! " He nearly jumped at her. "All those tests, going back and forth between here and your home. Fighting Naraku… No one else has to deal with that bullshit."

Kagome bit her bottom lip as she looked towards the ground. She pushed a stray hair behind her ear.

"W-well, thank you." She glanced in his direction.

It made him mad.

Furious.

He needed to find a way in. He needed him to leave.

"I have to go." He said. It seemed too good to be true. Her blue eyes immediately shot up, wide with worry.

"Go?" Kyou could feel the immediate anxiety rolling off of her in waves, only to be mildly alleviated by the hanyous smile.

"I'll be back." He said.

And with that, he was gone, as quickly as he had came.


	25. Chapter 25

Kagome had been anxious ever since Inuyasha had left. He had not been gone for more than a day, and she was already on edge. She didn't want to move forward, did not want to let Inuyasha catch up with them, as they had done in the old days when he would disappear. No, this time they would stay in one place until he returned.

But the groups ability to go on, talk about arbitrary things, as if the issue of him coming back was not at stake.. it was getting to her. Her thoughts were too loud for her own head. She found herself wandering off, looking for solace in the quiet, empty places of the forest.

She was worried about him; his mental state, his memory loss, the pain that accompanied the remembrance of the past. Although he had not had an episode since he had come back, it was still something that weighed heavily on her mind. When would the next time be? Would he suffer? Would he be able to pull through without repercussions?

And then there was the unspoken fear- where had he gone? Had he gone back to Kikyo?

It wasn't implausible. After all, for Inuyasha, in his mind he has not left with her. His memories had not been erased. He was still the dog demon in love with the dead miko. It was true then, just as it was true now. Back then, he had no qualms about taking off to chase after her, leaving Kagome and the rest behind in the dust. Who was to say present Inuyasha would not follow the same patterns of behavior?

He did seem more cautious, she would give him that. As he tried to patch together his own reasons for leaving, he stumbled over words and actions he would have done without second thought. It hurt her, to see him so unsure of himself in the group he considered family.

It hurt. In general, it just hurt. Seeing him, hearing his voice, smelling his scent. Listening to him bicker back and forth with Shippo and Miroku, making jokes with Sango at the monks expense… holding onto his broad shoulders as he ran at full speed. It all hurt. It was so familiar, and at the same time, so strained that it left her feeling deflated, lacking for energy.

It would be so easy to fall back into their old patterns. Inuyasha clearly felt the same way too; more than once she saw him reach out his hand to her, only to clench it into a fist. He was slowly realizing he could no longer touch her or interact as the once had.

She knew that the way Inuyasha was now… she knew he wanted her. Knew that for him, they were still in a relationship. What's more, she knew he was hurting for the sudden and abrupt breakup.

But how could she run to him, find shelter in his arms or enjoy his caresses if she knew what would ultimately be? In the end, he would pick Kikyo. A thousand fates and destinies, and in each and every one, he would choose her. Who was she to interfere?

Kagome looked behind her once more, just checking to see if there was a streak of red on the horizon.

"You're worried about him returning, right?" Miroku asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. She had been so consumed by her thoughts she had not heard the jingle of his staff.

"Mm. He shouldn't have left. At least not alone."

"Is that _all_ you are worried about?" He raised his brows at her. She narrowed her eyes at his pointed question.

"I-" Kagome bit her bottom lip. "Of course I'm worried that he went back to her." She walked over to a tree and sank down against the trunk. "What's wrong with me, Miroku?" Kagome covered her face with her hands as she leaned her head back.

"Nothing, other than loving an idiot." He gave her a kind smile as he sat beside her.

"I cant love him. I can't. I cant."

"I'm sure repeating that over and over will help."

"It cant hurt." She replied flatly.

"If you ask me, I don't see why you couldn't be with him." Miroku said, leaning back. "The Inuyasha now clearly loves you, and wants to be with you." Kagome blushed in response.

"But this Inuyasha has forgotten that he left me. He didn't come back because- He's not here because he realized he was in love with me or anything; that he actually wanted me over Kikyo. He came back because to him, he never left."

"What always seemed strange to me was why he left in the first place." Miroku said.

"Because of Kikyo. He wanted to be with her."

"Wanted to? That strikes me as odd."

"What do you mean?" She asked, sitting up a little straighter. Miroku simply shrugged.

"I mean, why then? What made him leave that night? If he was going to part ways, why wouldn't he say goodbye? He just left… like he was in a hurry."

"He said he had to go, and he was sorry."

"The Inuyasha I know would not have done that. He would never have left you. He wouldn't have done it before you were intimate, but after… Gods, the entire male species was afraid to approach you. From where I stood, he really did seem to love you. Which makes me think there was more to his reasoning for leaving. I highly doubt he would've gone to Kikyo on his own accord. Unless… Unless he thought he was protecting you."

"Protecting me?" She echoed. "But why-"

"Who knows." He shrugged. "But Kikyo has been known to have a jealous, vicious side. Perhaps… Perhaps he felt as if he was doing the right thing for _you_."

Kagome sat in silence for a moment, letting the monks words sink in.

"Of course, this is all my speculation." He said with a smile.

"But if you're wrong… If he and I… How could I do that? How could I chance it?"

"But what if you're wrong, and you're wasting time?" He looked at her, a serious expression framing his handsome features. "Kagome, you must take it seriously. You have to think about what you will do with your time, with your life. I-"

"I know you're worried. Please, don't be. My decisions are mine to make. The whole reason I'm struggling with this so much is that I don't want to have any regrets."

"Regrets are for those who have time, Kagome."

"Who says I have anymore than you, Miroku? You should take your own advice and marry Sango already." She jabbed him lightly with her elbow, desperate to change the subject. She disliked when the good hearted monk became too serious.

"Ah, if only she would have me." He joked. "I wont burden her until this damned hand is fixed."

"I don't think she see's it as a burden."

Mirkou smiled.

"And I don't think Inuyasha would leave you without significant cause. Just trust him. Trust who he is now… who he was then. A man who loves and wants you. If you cant trust his words, trust his actions." He tilted his head to the right. "I'll take my leave. I'm sure Sango is wondering where I've gone to."

Inuyasha was coming back. He was on his way back to her.

No, them. He was on his way back to them.

She had to keep telling herself that. Miroku was in her head, messing up her sensibilities. She stood up to greet him.

' _Inuyasha loves Kikyo. Inuyasha loves Kikyo. Inuyasha left you, for Kikyo. He loves-'_

"Kagome." He said her name, and she felt weak in the knees. It came out breathy, as if he had been dying to say it since he last saw her.

"Y-You're back." She said, feeling uncertain of herself. He nodded in response.

"Where did you go?" She asked, immediately biting her lip. "S-sorry, that's not my business." She turned her head, eyes glued to the ground.

Draw the line. She had to keep drawing and redrawing that line or she was going to cross it.

"No, it is." He said, reaching out his hand to hold hers. "I'll always tell you where I go."

"Y-You don't have to. It's not my right." She said. She tried to pull her hand from his. He gripped it tighter, trying to hold on.

"It- I-" He let out a sigh, releasing her. He shifted his weight from foot to foot before speaking again.

"I have something for you." He said.

"Eh?"

Inuyasha reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small pouch, holding it out in her direction.

"I-It's not much." He said hurriedly. "It's for finishing school."

Kagome reached inside and retrieved the object.

It was a ring. A beautiful, diamond ring. It looked like a flower in full bloom, its petals delicate and dainty.

"Wh-where did you-?" Kagome was at a loss for words.

"I got the raw material." He said with a blush. "I asked Totosai to put it together. When you told me you had finished school, I was nervous he hadn't finished it yet. But I apparently had asked him a long time ago, and it had been sitting around for months." He gave a small laugh, nervous that she didn't like it. "He doesn't usually forge these types of thing, but he said because it was for you, he'd make an exception."

He- he had been planning this?To give this ring to her? It had been sitting around for months?

"It's beautiful." She managed, still in awe. "This is too much."

Inuyasha shook his head. "You deserve it. I know that better than anyone. And I know I didn't make it easy." He reached out his hand to cup her cheek. "I'm proud of you."

He could hear her heart beating faster, feel her anxiety as she looked between him and the ring. He immediately withdrew his hand.

"Y-You don't have to wear it or anything." He said in a rush. "I- I know what rings mean to you, in your time- but- but you don't have to look at it like that- I mean, unless you wanted to- I-"

Kagome stood up on her tip toes, placing a swift kiss on his cheek. Her touch was gone as quickly as it had came. Inuyasha felt his skin burning, hungry for more. He had been holding back all this time, yearning for the woman he loved.

Kagomes cheeks were flushed from her innocent action. She looked down at the ring, placing it on her finger. Inuyasha knew what rings meant for her, what the represented in her time. And yet… he still asked for one to be made for her. Did he intend to marry her back then? Or was it just a coincidence? Maybe he had a reason for picking out a ring?

Maybe he loved her.

"Thank you, Inuyasha. I love it." As she smiled, her will was beginning to falter. His amber eyes were heated, a look she had seen so many times before. A look she hoped only _she_ recognized. He was hungry for her, and the dog demon would have his prey. Inuyasha leaned in, and when she didn't pull away, he took it as his cue. Placing one hand on her hip he drew her in towards him. Kagome was breathing hard, anticipation, anxiety, guilt and excitement all rolling off of her in waves. But above that, he could smell her arousal.

It was more than he could take; he leaned down, claiming her lips. He sighed, calling out her name, and he didn't give a fuck who heard him whimper. He needed her; Gods, how he needed this woman. A year, a month, an hour, a minute- it was all too long to be without her, and fuck, it had been _far_ too long. As she gripped the back of haori he licked along her bottom lip, gently probing, asking. She answered by slipping her tongue into his mouth, and the feel of her had his head spinning. He pulled her body towards him, pushing his hip into her, eliciting the most gorgeous moan he had ever heard. He was so lost in her; he didn't give a damn that they were doing this in broad day light. All that mattered was they were.

But as Inuyasha was focusing on the delicious sounds she was making, he also caught the scent, the sound of a demon approaching.

He was torn. On the one hand, every fiber of his being was demanding he pick Kagome up and go some place far and remote; Gods help the person that dared disturb them when he finally got her alone.

On the other…

His friends were back there, totally unaware. And that fucking asshole Kyou would be nothing but a hindrance. If one of them got hurt, because he couldn't keep it in his pants, would he be able to live with that?

The hanyou growled as he shakily broke free from their kiss. He gripped her shoulders, trying to get control of himself.

"Fuck!" He cursed, looking over in the demons direction. It would be there soon. 3 Minutes tops.

Kagome was working on steadying her breathing, pushing down the lust that had bubbled to the surface.

"Is there something coming?"

"A demon." He nodded, looking down at her. Kagomes lips were swollen from kissing. Inuyasha gave a low growl. "Fuck!" He leaned down to kiss her once more, then bent down to offer her his back.

~.~

"Hand over the jewels, and I may spare your life." The weasel demon said. "Although, I cant guarantee it."

"Not in this lifetime." Sango said.

"What kind of bargaining chip is that?" Kagome asked.

"The kind where you make things easier for me." He gave a devilish smile. He was attractive, but danger clouded his handsome features. He had a look about him that made Kagome think he charmed his partners easily, then cut their flesh with up with razor sharp claws.

"I've heard of the kamaitachi." Sango said. "Be careful, he has sickle like claws. He can even command a windstorm that to slice at their opponent. "

"Feh. Not a problem for the Tessaiga." Inuyasha remarked, taking out his sword. To his surprise, he swung, but it did not have the power nor the aim he was expecting. It was if he was… out of practice.

"That's all you got?" The weasel asked. "This will be easier than I thought!"

Inuyasha looked up just in time to see it; a wind storm heading towards Kagome. Wind that would cut her like blades. Without hesitation he jumped in front of her, taking the brunt of the attack before leaping into the trees.

"Inuyasha!" Miroku called up to him, "Are you alright?"

"Just a few scratches." He said, wiping the blood from his eyes.

"And Kagome?" Sango asked.

"Fine!" She answered, readying an arrow. "I'll make him pay!"

"Come on Tessaiga, this is no time for you to be temperamental." The hanyou grumbled. Once more he unleashed his attack, hitting in time with Kagomes arrow.

It was blinding. Kyou shielded his eyes until the light subsided.

"Is everyone alright?" Sango asked.

"Were good." Inuyasha answered.

"We? Look at you!" Kagome screeched. "Why did you do that! I would've-"

"Quit asking stupid questions. And quit exaggerating, I'm fine."

"No, you need to be looked at."

The dog demon rolled his eyes as he wiped away another trickle of blood. "It looks worse than it is. Its mostly superficial. And what isn't-"

"Can get bandaged. After a bath." Kagome said, her tone full of finality. She grabbed her first aid kit and ushered him along.

Kyou watched the scene before him.

He was unsettled. He had seen the attack coming towards Kagome, just as the hanyou did. And yet…

He wasn't the one to save her. Without a second thought, or a moments hesitation, Inuyasha jumped in front of her ready to take the pain. How many times had he done that? When had it become second nature for him to sacrifice his life for the woman he loved? And why couldn't Kyou do the same?

They disappeared together, and uneasiness set in. He disliked them being alone, hell, he disliked them being in the same country.

Kyou was beginning to feel out of place and in the way. What could he do in a fight? He had his knife and when it came to close attacks he could hold his own… for a time, and with a human opponent. With these demons, it was another matter entirely. Before the dog demon came into their group, it felt more like they all had equal grounds- they were humans, some with specialized skills. But with a Inuyasha, he possessed abilities and strengths Kyou could only ever dream of.

Maybe he should leave; was there a point to him being there? What good was he doing? Would they notice if he left? Would they mourn his absence, the way they did the hanyou? He was tired; this journey was more than he signed up for. His village needed him. His father was old, and he missed home. Perhaps it was time to start the journey home.

As he walked deeper into the woods, he wondered if there even was a point in going back to the group. He did not have many belongings with him, and he could fend for himself along the way. His friends were kind; at the very least he would like to say good bye. If he was to turn back, he'd ask Kagome again. To plead with her once more to join him; to go home and become his wife.

He knew in his gut what a futile gesture it would be. Kagome would never be his. Whatever seed he had planted in the time he had known her had been demolished by the dog demon who had her heart.

Suddenly Kyou was engulfed by a blue light, floating serpents ushering his forward. He shuddered as he realized what they truly were- soul collectors. He struggled to break free from them as they continued on.

"There is no reason to treat them so harshly." The sterile voice said. "They will bring you no harm."

He had seen her before. The woman who resembled Kagome.

Kikyou?

"What do you want?" He asked skeptically.

"Straight to the point." She said. "Is Inuyasha with you?"

"Me? Currently, no." He answered. He didn't trust her, didn't like her; he certainly wasn't going to help her.

"Lying is an unbecoming trait. Is he in your groups company?"

"He came back a little while ago." Kyou replied. For some reason, it was hard to lie to her. Maybe it was the robes.

"And has he-" She stopped herself before continuing. "Is he with _her?"_

"Mm." He gave a slight nod. "Just leave her alone. I swear, if you hurt her-"

"It is clear you have feelings for her. Perhaps, we can be of use to each other." She gave a slight smile. Kyou was sure that it was meant to be reassuring, but it had the opposite effect. He felt a chill run down as spine. How could he be useful to a demon disguised as a miko?

~.~


	26. Chapter 26

"This is stupid." Inuyasha said for the second time. "You're making a big deal out of nothing. As usual."

"Whatever." Kagome said as she rolled her eyes. "You can grumble all you want- as long as you let me bandage you."

"Feh." He tried to cross his arms as he grimaced. The bastard got him better than he thought.

"See? You're hurt." She stopped in her tracks. "Let me take care of your arm before we get to the river."

"It's not that seri-" Kagome deadpanned. Inuyasha let out a deep breath of defeat. "Whatever. Do whatever you want."

She gave him a smile in return. "Thank you." She said in a smug tone. Without a second thought she began to take off his fire rat. He shrugged out of it to help.

She quickly washed the wound, the surrounding area; she applied medicine and gauze, carefully tending to his injury. When she finished, her petite hand left his skin, an awkward silence following.

"W-We should get going." She said finally. "I'm sure you're dying to get clean."

He nodded in response as she turned to lead the way.

It made him feel uneasy- how anxious she was. He could feel the nervousness, the jittery energy rolling off of her and it set him on edge. His natural instinct was to calm her, hold her- but he knew that if he was to act that forward it might frighten her. No, he had to be careful.

But he knew it had to be now.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked.

"Eh? What do you mean?"

Inuyasha shrugged before answering. "The attack was pretty out of no where. Just wanted to make sure you were alright."

Kagome raised a brow as she looked over her shoulder.

"Are YOU okay?" She said. "That was nothing. We've survived way worse and you didn't ask how I was doing."

It stung; He was sure she hadn't meant it as a slight, but being faced with his own carelessness was like a slap in the face.

"Sorry." He apologized. "I really should have looked after you better. You-"

"Come on, what's the matter with you? I'm fine!" She smiled, trying to ease his guilt. It only made it worse. "Lets not talk about this anymore. Were already here." She grabbed his hand and gently tugged him to the water.

"I brought some bathing things." Kagome placed them down by the edge, turning to look at him. "So you can- Oh! Sorry!" She spun on her heels, covering her face with her hands.

Inuyasha was thoroughly confused; he had been stripping out of his clothes, when she looked his way. She had acted like-

Like she was embarrassed? He lightly sniffed the air, catching an array of scents coming from her.

Definitely embarrassed.

Why? It was far from the first time he had gotten undressed in front of her- Fuck, he couldn't count the times she herself had torn clothes off his body. Those times, her cheeks were pink, flushed from heat. Now…

Inuyasha couldn't help the toothy grin he was suddenly wearing. He hadn't seen this side of Kagome in a long time.

"Pervert." The demon accused.

She turned to look at Inuyasha, eager to defend herself and motives, her thoughts dying on her tongue. It was a knee jerk reaction. She hadn't meant to get the full view of him. His broad shoulders, his defined arms... his skin seemed tanner, more tantalizing than she remembered. His Her gaze drifted lower, lower to the hard plains of his stomach- chiseled and so well defined. She caught herself staring at his most intimate area, now fully aroused from her scrutiny. He was so muscular and beautiful, and it had been so long since she had seen him like this. The sound of his clicking tongue drew her attention back up, only to see the dog demon smirking.

"S-Sorry!" She said again, turning her head. Kagome closed her eyes tight.

She really was a pervert.

Damn, he was infuriating, smirking at her like that!

And hot.

Couldn't leave that out.

No matter how much she tried to push him away, no matter how hard she tried to distance herself, she simply couldn't deny her attraction to him.

It was more than that, of course. She ached for him, felt starved and sated just by being near him. When it came to Inuyasha, there was no such thing as 'enough'; She wanted all of him, and that was the problem.

How much could he give?

Right now, he wanted her.

Right now, he was standing in front of her, ready to give her what she wanted.

But what about after?

Kagome swallowed hard, trying to calm herself. It seemed as if she was always ruining the mood.

Which is what she should be doing! Inuyasha doesn't know better- doesn't remember the reason why he left- who he left for. It would be immoral to take advantage of him in this state. They had kissed earlier, and that was wrong. She was swayed by Miroku. Swayed by _him._ She had to resist her urges; she had to do it _for_ him.

She kept telling herself this mantra over and over, yet it didn't seem to sink in. No matter how many times she repeated it, she couldn't help but be drawn to him, couldn't stop the feelings in her heart.

"Sorry?" He echoed, frowning. "It aint like you haven't seen me like this before." He sounded almost disappointed.

"But that was then. This is now." Kagome said, her voice low. "Can you hurry up?" She snapped. She was getting irritable. Resisting the man you're in love with, let alone a demon whose body seemed to be crafted by the Gods themselves was hard work. It was made even more difficult when said man was standing nude, encouraging her to look his way. She was turned on and frustrated and he was toying with her.

"Alright, alright." She heard the sound of him entering the spring, the water engulfing his firm body.

The one that had protected her. Like so many times before, he had sheltered her from harm.

"Don't stand there like that. Your shoulders are all hunched up." He scolded. "You can turn around now. Everything is decent." He rolled his eyes at his own comment.

Kagome peeked over her shoulder to see the dog demon leaning against a rock. His chest was exposed, his lower half covered by the water.

The very _clear_ water.

She walked over to sit by him, feeling rather fidgety. She drew her knees into her chest to try and control her energy.

"Don't get your arm wet." She lectured. "It will ruin the bandage."

"Pointless bandages." He said as he waved her off.

"Hm. I think we spend half of our time arguing about this." Kagome rested her chin on her hands.

He looked up at her and smiled. "Keh, you might be right."

She blushed from his attention, casting her eyes to the side.

"D-Do you want me to wash your hair?" She asked. "I used to do it all the time for you."

He nodded and turned his back to her; She lathered his long, silver locks, massaging his scalp with her delicate fingers. When she came to his ears she applied light pressure at the base, causing the dog demon to rumble deep in his chest, the action stopping her ministrations in their tracks. Kagome recoiled, curling her fingers into tight fists as she moved away.

"Sorry… habit." She bit her lip as she apologized. Inuyasha narrowed his amber eyes before submerging fully into the water.

"Inu-?"

He shot out of the water as quickly as he had gone under; he rose out of the spring, maintaining eye contact. Kagomes breath caught in her throat; With his muscular body, the droplets of liquid rolling down his body, he looked more like a water God than a dog demon. He reached down for the towel, no shame in his naked form, or that the woman before him was too entranced and surprised to look away.

"Inu-"

"Quit saying sorry." His voice was firm, matching his tense gaze.

"But I-" Her eyes darted, trying to avoid the man, clad only in a towel standing above her. He let out a frustrated grunt as he leaned down to pull Kagome to her feet. He kept his hands firmly on her arms.

"Quit it. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"L-Let me go." She said, trying to shrug out of his grip. When it wasn't giving her the immediate results she wanted, she began to turn away, only to cause her to rub up against a place she hadn't felt in months. She felt him tense, heard him growl at the unexpected contact.

"Ah! Sor- Inuyasha, we shouldn't be doing this." She fumbled. "Let me go."

"Why?" The demon asked, his head hung low. His wet bangs covered his face, but she was certain he was hurt. "Why can't we be together?" He asked.

"I told you, Inuyasha." She resisted the urge to move his bangs back, to sooth the pain in his heart. "You don't have your memories. You're not thinking clearly. You- You don't want me." She felt her body shiver, whether from the water or what he was forcing her to say, she wasn't sure.

"Who are you to tell me what I want?" He huffed. "How can you know what-"

"Because you left." She said, her jaw clenched tight. She looked up at him, the demon she loved so much. "You left me. You turned your back, and ran off to Kikyo." Her voice was raw, full of things left unsaid.

"I don't remember doing that!" He screamed. "I wouldn't!"

"But you did!" She shot back.

"I get it, I _know_ that I did, but I just- FUCK!" He was becoming frustrated. He took a deep breath to try and calm himself. He was practically glowering at her. "I would never leave you, Kagome."

"Don't tell me that you wouldn't, because you DID!" She yelled, slamming her hands against his chest. "You LEFT! You left!" She cried, hitting him over and over again. Her body felt drained, her energy depleted. She let he head fall to his shoulders as she openly sobbed. "You left me."

"But I came back." He swallowed hard. "I don't know what happened, but I came for _you."_

"Because Shippo told you I was dying." She scoffed. "That doesn't really count."

"Do you really think that runt could track me down so easily? If Naraku can't find me half the time, what makes you think that kid can?" He asked. "I think- I think I must've been looking for you, Kagome."

"No…" She shook her head. "You didn't know who I was. How could you look for me?"

"You think that my memory is the only thing that ties me to you?" He asked. Inuyasha trembled as his arms encircled her, holding the woman he loved as she fell apart. "How many times have I told you that you're mine?" He asked. "How many times did I hold you like this? Watch over you? Protect you?" He pulled her body closer into his embrace. "How many times do I have to say it for you to believe me?" He asked. "I love you, Kagome." He whispered.

"Wh-what?" She said, snapping her head up to look at him; her voice was raspy and came out sound more like a gasp than a sentence. "What did you say?"

"I love you." He repeated, feeling more vulnerable in that moment than any other time he could remember. His cheeks were flushed, and it was taking everything in him to not retort in his usual, sarcastic manner. He was nervous… nauseatingly nervous he had said it too late. "It doesn't matter what happens, if I cant remember who you are, fuck if I cant remember my own name... It doesn't change the fact that I love you, that I feel it deep in my bones. I will always find my way back to you, I promise."

"Why?" She asked, panic in her voice. "Why say this to me now?" She cried. "You don't mean this. This is cruel to do to me." Her breathing was becoming ragged as she attempted to wipe away her tears. "You know how much I love you, and you're just playing with me. You can say this so easily now, but in a few months, years, who knows, maybe even tomorrow, you'll go to her. In the end, you always choose her. You love Kikyo!"

"Fuck Kikyo!" He snarled, seizing her wrists in his hands. "Look at me." He commanded. "What part of this don't you get? I don't love her!" Inuyasha clenched his jaw.

"Liar!" She screamed, turning her head away. She didn't want to look at him- it hurt too much. They had never had such an honest conversation about the miko; when he would fawn over her, she would turn a blind eye. When he would steal off in the night to see her, she would see him off with a tense silence. She knew he was aware that it hurt her- and back then, she had been almost convinced it hurt _him_ to go too. "You did- You do-!" It was too much. This is why she never insisted that they talk about her; this was why they avoided the subject at all costs. When the truth was laid bare, it meant the end for their relationship. It meant the end for her. And even though it was over, had been for almost a year, it still stung like an open wound. He was telling her now that he loved her, Kagome. It couldn't be the truth. Gods, she wished she had demon strength; she wanted to run away from him and his tight grip on her heart.

Inuyasha released her wrist, only to grab her chin in his clawed hand, forcing her to maintain eye contact.

"I love _you_." He said. "You. Not Kikyo. Not anyone else. _Kagome_. What I feel for you… I didn't feel even an ounce of it for her. You cant compare the two. I love _you._ The woman who pulled the arrow from my chest, not the one who put it there. The clumsy human who tries to take on demons four times her size without fear. The woman who puts me in my place, sits me to the ground." He watched her flinch at his words, and he tried to soften his tone. "I even love that about you. I want to be with _you_. You've made me laugh, shed tears for me. You don't give a damn if I'm a human or a demon or something in between. I love the woman who has held me after battles, held me at night. I don't give a damn about anyone else. I only care about you, Kagome."

"You mean that?" She asked. He could feel her tremble. The skepticism in her voice hurt.

"Of course I do!" He barked. "Only you." He leaned his forehead against hers, trying to control his emotions. It wasn't rare for him to feel overwhelmed by his feelings, but it wasn't every day that he actually spoke them out loud. "That's why- Don't tell me how I feel. Don't tell me that I love Kikyo, when I know I don't. I may have _loved_ her, but I am in _love_ with you. I- I loved Kikyo enough to die for her." The words of his devotion stung her as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "But that doesn't mean much. I would sacrifice myself for a number of people. When she found me… I would've followed anyone to Hell that treated me like I mattered. I was at the lowest point in my life. Giving up my life… that didn't matter much."

Kagome felt tears begin to well up in her eyes as she attempted to blink them away. The Inuyasha then was desperate- for love and acceptance. His loyalty to her stretched beyond the grave.

"But with you…" He paused, taking a deep, steadying breath. "With you, I want to live. It would've been easy to die with her. One happy moment was enough with Kikyo. One moment isn't close to enough with _you_. I want to _live_ when I'm with you. For you. With you. I cant get enough of you; I want to make memories with you, build a life with you. I could spend 500 years by your side, and I still wouldn't have my fill. That's why… I- I've given it a lot of thought… And although I don't know why I left, I cant help but think that there must've been a reason for it. I wouldn't have left unless it was to protect you or-"

"But you said-"

"Do my words really mean so little?" He asked, a sad laugh in his voice.

"I want to believe you." Kagome whimpered. "Its just…sudden."

"None of this is sudden." He cut in. "Maybe I hadn't said it in so many words, but didn't my actions count for anything? Did you not feel loved, even a little? I tried- I- I can do better." He begged. "You know me. Do you think I would take a woman I didn't love? That night, you became mine. Fuck, you were mine long before then."

She paused, considering his words, the depth of his feelings. He felt her chest rise and fall against his, her blue eyes attempting to blink back tears. Finally, she looked up at him.

"Im yours…And you're mine?" She asked, half statement, half question. "You mean it?"

"Haven't you been listening?" He breathed out a sigh of relief. Finally, it seemed like he was getting through to her. "I love you, always loved you, Kagome. You're _mine_." He angled his head seeking out her lips. He could taste the salt from her tears as he ran his tongue over her bottom lip, eagerly waiting for permission. When she opened her mouth, felt her tongue brush against his, he couldn't stop the audible sigh that escaped him. The demon was practically whining from a mere kiss.

He had never said it before, never been able to murmur the words 'I love you'. He had wanted to wait, wanted to tell her when he truly was free.

Free of old vows, free of souls that should have left the world long ago.

He didn't want to pledge his love to her, while he needed to lay Kikyo to rest. She walked the Earth half the woman she once was. He had told her he loved her, and look at what it had done.

He didn't want to make the same mistakes with Kagome.

She was too precious, too important.

He loved her far too much.

But the damned wench, she had forced the words from him. All this time, he had been holding back. All the times she looked up at him and smiled, reached out for his hand or laughed, he wanted to tell her. The times she had fought him, argued and sat him, he wanted to tell her. The times he had taken her, the times she had sought him out, crying from pleasure, watching her face turn from the ecstasy he was giving her… damn it was hard not to tell her then.

But the Kagome who was crying in his arms, convinced he didn't want her, didn't love her. No, that was a Kagome who had to know. And he was going to make damn sure she did.

"But what if-"

"No more of that." He commanded. "Stop trying to complicate things. Please," He begged. "Let me love you."

Inuyasha cradled her head in his hands as he deepened the kiss. He could feel her grip his shoulders, her blunt hairs digging crescents into his skin. It made him excited, to know her need for him was so strong she was having difficultly controlling it. It made him want to explore her further, drive her deeper to the brink.

"Kagome…" He moaned, trailing kisses down her neck, licking and sucking her tender skin. He felt energized as she let out a whimper, encouraging him to continue his torture. The hypnotic aroma of her arousal hit him hard, leaving him feeling dizzy with need; It had him shaking to his core, trying to control his pent up lust.

"Wai-Wait." She panted, moving away from him slightly. Surely, she was going to drive him mad. He knew she didn't _want_ to stop, yet she was still letting her insecurities from earlier impede her. "This is- Its-Ah-" Kagome found it difficult to finish her sentences when Inuyasha was trailing his tongue over her ear, to gently tugging it. "Hm?" His breath was hot in her ear.

"Were pretty exposed." She said looking around. "What if someone sees us?"

"Gods help the person that does." He huffed, angry at the thought of both someone seeing Kagome in such an intimate position as well at the idea that they might stop. "I don't know if I can hold back."

She looked at the demon, bare fleshed and panting. She placed her hands on his chest, watching it rise and fall. Kagome debated what to do, considered it one final time. _He loved her_.

She felt a rush of emotions washing over her; Love. He was in love with her. Kagome.

And Gods, she loved him too. She couldn't fight it anymore; she was always weak against the demon. She loved him, and they both wanted this.

She leaned back, pulling at the edge of her shirt, lifting it overhead. "I don't think I can either." Suddenly she was on him, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him into a deep kiss. He growled his approval as he tasted her. She slipped her hands into his hair as she kissed him, bit at his lips when he tried to move away.

His clawed hands flirted down her rib cage to rest on her hips. He played with the fabric of her cami, slowly working his fingers under it. Kagome shivered from the touch of his fingers as they delicately ran the pad of his thumb along her skin, toying with the band of her skirt, causing her to let out a soft sigh. Inuyasha was eager to touch more of her, feel more of her body that had been off limits to him. He removed her shirt in one rapid move, letting his eyes roam over her newly exposed skin. He felt his desire beginning to coil deep inside him, burning deep in his stomach.

Kagome reached behind her back to unfasten her bra, her chest heaving as she took deep breaths. When her full breasts were released he groaned, feeling his desire growing harder by the second. Inuyasha snaked one hand around her waist, pressing his body into hers while the other reached up to cup her bounty. He smiled as she closed her eyes from pleasure; his woman was so sensitive. It made him want to see how far he could take her before she broke.

He brought his mouth down to her breast, kissing and sucking her rosy nipple. It hardened as he ran his tongue in circles, lightly bringing the peak between his teeth. She moaned in response, arching her chest into his mouth. He moved to her neglected breast, sucking and licking her sensitive area.

Having his head lowered gave her the perfect opportunity to get her hands on his ears. When he felt her moving towards them he had to stop the whine that was threatening to escape; he loved the feel of her delicate fingers moving up and down his appendage, gently scratching and applying pressure- it sent a bolt of pleasure to an already excited area of his body. He laid hot kisses up her body, stopping to nip at her throat, then capturing her lips once more.

"Kagome…" He felt her hands run along his chest, tracing the lines with her softy fingers. He stiffened, letting her explore his body. He wanted to indulge in the pleasure she was giving him, but his primal urges also made him want to throw her to the ground and claim dominance. But the feel of her bare breasts moving against his skin, the shock wave of desire that coursed through him as she toyed with his nipples made him consider otherwise. He closed his amber eyes, relaxing his body to let her please him.

Her slender fingers roamed lower to the towel that was wrapped around his waist. With a light tug, it fell to the ground, freeing his bulging erection. He felt anxious, waiting for her to touch him, dying to bury himself into her. When she finally wrapped her hand around his shaft it pulled a whimper from him that he barely recognized as his own. He tried to stifle anymore of his vulnerability with a kiss.

Hearing the effect she was having on him only aroused Kagome more; She moved her hand lightly up and down his length before holding his base in a firm grasp. She pumped him in her soft hands, marveling at the sounds he was making as he rocked his hips into her. As she circled her thumb over his tip, over sensitive from excitement and months of built up lust, she felt his finger coated with a hot liquid; she knew he was getting closer to the edge. The only thoughts on his mind was how to get her down to the ground before he lost it.

He moved Kagome onto her back, moving his tongue down the taut planes of her stomach. Mindful of his claws, and using much more restraint than he knew he had, hooked his fingers into her skirt, tugging it down as she lifted her hips to accommodate. He ran his calloused hands over her thighs, pushing them apart so he could position himself between her legs. Leaning down to bite at the juncture of her neck, he couldn't help but appreciate how lucky he was.

He had dreamed of this, seeing her small body caged beneath him, panting with lust.

It was so much better than a dream.

In dreams, Kagome didn't raise her hips to grind against him, hands clinging to his back, as if trying to draw him closer. His cock rubbed against the silky material of her underwear, making them both moan. It was everything and nothing at the same time. It felt too good to stop, but not satisfying enough to continue.

Inuyasha shred the underwear at the sides, far too impatient to try and be gentle with the scanty material. His hand trembled as he made contact with the soft curls, damp from her desire. Slowly, he moved his thumb down her folds, gently parting them, never putting his fingers inside of her, but touching her only enough to tease. She called out his name in broken cries as she desperately held onto him. As he began to work small circles over her sensitive nub she felt his hot breath in her ear.

"You smell so fucking good Kagome." He confessed. "I can tell how badly you want me." He rocked his hips into her to demonstrate his own need.

"Mmm-" She pressed her lips together, trying to contain the noises she was making. For some reason, the way he said that turned her on. It excited her to hear him talk like that.

"Let your voice out." He commanded. "I want to hear you." Inuyasha reached down to stroke her folds, petting her while she squirmed under him.

"Ah!" She complied, but he knew she was holding back.

"If you can control your voice, I'm not doing this right." He said, dipping a finger into her. "When I fuck you, I want to hear you scream."

"Please," She begged, her voice raw with desire. "I can't take anymore… I need you." She leaned on one arm to rise, kissing him hard, demanding he fulfill her needs.

Inuyasha used his knees to open her legs wider, spreading her as he hitched one leg onto his hip. He could feel his body tense as the head of his cock neared her entrance, the heat from it warm and welcoming. He rubbed his tip against her swollen nub, a painful torture that has his member throbbing.

"Please," She begged, rocking her hip up to meet his. "I want you, Inuyasha."

It was all he could take; Leaning down to capture her soft lips once more, he thrust his hips forward, letting her wet core engulf him fully. He went so- so slow he was on the brink of insanity. But he knew he needed to give her time to become accustomed to his size; she was so tight around his throbbing member that at first it had been almost painful. He felt her walls struggling to fit him, squeezing his hard cock as it stretched. Every inch he sank into her was pure bliss, the sensation of being inside of her mingled with the delicious noises she was making. Finally, she retracted her hips, pulling away from him, only to buck forward- a clear sign that she was ready for him to continue. Inuyasha continued to pump himself into her, careful of his pace and pressure as not to hurt her. His need for this woman was so great it bordered on dangerous.

Kagome felt the familiar ache building inside of her; she knew it wouldn't be long before she reached her climax. She ran her hands down his back, desperate to feel more of him. He had drawn her breast into his mouth, sucking her between heavy breaths. Every move, every thrust had her lifting her hips to follow his. Her walls clenched around him, tightening as he drove deeply into her core.

Inuyasha looked down at the woman below him, the beautiful curves of her body moving to match his rhythm. He dug his claws into the dirt as he felt her push over the edge, her frantic spasms of her core making combined with her broken cries of his name made him lose what little control he had left. With a final snap of his hips, he came into her with a snarl so primal and husky he hardly recognized it as his own.

For a moment, they laid perfectly still; their bodies intertwined, satisfied and whole. Inuyasha rained soft kissed on her forehead and cheeks. She smelled of sweat, wild flowers and _him_. The scent of their joining filled the air, her soft body beneath him, and the relaxed, sated smile that she wore made him want to live in this moment for eternity. If they never had to move again, it would be enough. Damn the jewel and the hunt, Naraku and revenge. Fuck the entire world and all of its judgements. This moment was perfect. He would remember it for the rest of his life.

A gentle hand moved away his silver hair, resting to cup his face. He leaned down once more to kiss her, a slow, lax kiss. She smiled up at him before he rolled off of her and onto the grass.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Mm." She nodded, her eyes closed. Inuyasha snaked his arm around her, drawing her body close. Kagome laid her head on his chest. "We really should get back."

"Don't wanna." He murmured into her hair.

"I love you, Inuyasha." He heard her swallow hard, felt her energy shift into a nervous state… as if she didn't believe the words he had said earlier.

He lifted her head from its resting place so that he could look her in her eyes.

"I love you too, Kagome." He felt the corners of his mouth involuntarily curve into a smile. "I love you, so much."

Now that he had said it, he would never stop.

A/N:: Ah! It finally happened! Hopefully the reunion lives up to what everyone was waiting for. Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews!


	27. Chapter 27

Kagome awoke in a cold sweat; She could feel the anxiety rising from her chest as she struggled to catch her breath. Frantically, she looked around.

He was gone.

Gone.

Again.

Had it all been a dream? Had he ever come back?

Her blue eyes looked up into the canopy of the trees, scanning for some sight, some sliver of hope that the dog demon was there. That he had indeed come back to her, and he was waiting out the night in the branches as a look out.

She was sure that he had gone to bed with her; sure that when she laid her head down, he had been beside her, his body molding to hers like a puzzle piece.

But as she sat up, there was no sign of him- no sign that he had been here at all.

Her breathing was ragged as she struggled to keep her fear and sadness in check. She didn't want to wake the others. She had had many of these dreams before, thinking that Inuyasha had come home to her, only to find her bedside empty and the cool air of the night keeping her company.

But this felt different- she was sure- sure that-….

She began to look around, trying to calm rising anxiety. She needed to focus. She began to list the tangible objects.

The fire.

The sleeping bag.

The trees.

Inuyasha.

 _Inuyasha!_

He rushed to her side so quickly she was dumbstruck.

"Kagome!" He whispered, his voice harsh with panic. "What happened?! Are you okay?"

She drew in a ragged breath.

He was here.

He was real.

"Y-Y-You're here." She managed to say, struggling to keep control. Inuyasha gathered her shaking body into his arms, leaping into the night.

The hanyou sat her down, far enough from the others. He didn't want to be disturbed. In general he wanted to keep his woman to himself, but right now, the priority was to figure out what had her so shaken. He placed his clawed hands around her arms, trying to get to focus.

"Kagome." He said, attempting to steel himself. "What's the matter? What happened?"

He couldn't stop the fear from lacing his voice.

"Y-You- Y-you were gone…" She struggled to say, the salt of her tears filling his heart and demon with dread.

"What?" He asked breathlessly. All this, because he left for a minute?

"I woke up, and you were gone!" She openly began to sob, hiccupping as she tried to catch her breath. "I woke up and you- I thought- I thought-" She swallowed hard as she made eye contact with him. "I thought it was a dream. I thought you were really gone. I thought that you never came back." She buried her face into her hands as she began to cry once again.

Inuyashas eyes went wide. In all the years he had known her, he had never seen her like this. They had faced enemies she did not knew existed until she came to the other side of the well, had her life put in danger more times that he cared to count… she had seen the loss of life, the devastation of demons and the jewel shards. She had faced so much more than she ever should have…

And in all that time, she had managed to keep her composure.

She had seen him turn full demon, his youkai taking control of him so completely all he saw was red.

Even in those times, she hadn't seemed scared, hadn't acted this way.

But now?

Now she cried openly like a child.

Scared and broken

All because she thought he was gone. All because she thought he had left.

Or never came back in the first place.

He gathered her small frame into his arms, hugging her tightly. Much to his dismay, it only elicited more sobs. He was feeling at a loss; he didn't know what to do, or how best to comfort her.

"Shh. It's okay." He kissed her forehead, slowly rubbing her back. "I'm here. I came back. I'll always come back to you, Kagome."

"Wh-where did you go?" She asked. She hadn't completely calmed down, but this was at least a start.

"Bathroom." He said, a slight blush on his cheeks.

All this, because he needed to relieve himself.

If this was going to be the outcome he would rather suffer until she woke up.

Kagome nodded as she clutched his fire rat tighter.

"I thought you were gone." She repeated.

Inuyasha gently lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him.

"I'll always come back." He said. "I could never leave you, Kagome. I love you." He watched as her eyes grew wide at his admission. It seemed as if she still wasn't used to hearing it.

"Do you understand?" He asked.

Kagome nodded her head before resting it on his chest.

He waited until her breathing steadied and calmed, its rhythm slowed in the telltale signs of sleep.

Is this what it had been like? What _she_ had been like?

So broken, so raw and open… all because he was gone?

Not that he remembered. The last memory he could access was one of them together.

But for Kagome it was different.

She had a year of sadness, a year of longing that he knew nothing about.

Until now, he had never realized the full extent of her pain.

He knew it was there, but until this moment, he did not understand the gravity of it.

There had been many times that he himself woke up, frozen with fear, that their relationship had not changed. That she didn't love him. That he was still a friend.

There were also those dreams which left him panic stricken. When he awoke in the branches of the trees he was terrified- terrified that she was a dream, and he was still the lonely, fuck up hanyou out on his own.

But he was always able to calm those fears, always able to confirm that they were nothing more than short lived nightmares. The fear was enough to make his blood run cold.

But she… Kagome lived the nightmare.

She lived through the pain and anxiety of his absence. It affected her to this extent that.

She was that broken from their year of separation.

He hugged her body closer, trying to ease her pain. Once again, he felt awed at his sheer luck that this woman was in his arms. Inuyasha breathed in deeply, feeling both discomfort from her sadness and a selfishness he was still trying to get accustomed to.

She loved him.

And he loved her.

He could only hope that the Gods would allow him to prove himself worth of her.

~.~

"A month?" He asked, eyes growing wide. "Why do we have to wait a month?!"

Kagome blushed at his outrage; it wasn't like she was looking forward to waiting either, but the alternative wasn't even an option. Not at this point in time any way.

"Because of the medicine. It takes a month for it to work. It wont prevent pregnancy until I've had it in my body for a month."

"Why didn't we have to wait before?" He furrowed his brows together as he pouted.

"W-well… I was kind of expecting that we- we would get together." She bit her bottom lip anxiously. "The way things had been going it was the smart thing to do, to be prepared and protected." The hanyou nodded, a slight smirk detectable.

"But now you're not… protected?"

"No." She admitted. "When… when you left, I stopped taking the medicine." Inuyasha felt an inward satisfaction. She didn't have the need for such preventive remedies if he wasn't there. Although he did not fully understand her futuristic medications, he was thankful for them; having a child right now was far from ideal. It was hard enough to travel with the kit; he could only imagine the danger a baby would be put in with Naraku on the loose.

Inuyasha let out a sigh. "Its going to be a long month." He already felt grumpy. Kagome nodded in agreement.

"But that doesn't mean we cant do… other things." She pressed her lips together looking the dog demon up and down, a mischievous look twinkling in her eyes.

Gods, he loved this woman.

~.~

If you asked Kyou, it was pure insanity.

A woman, as good and as pure as Kagome- beautiful, kind and smart- to be with someone as unworthy as that hanyou. To think that she, a miko with spiritual powers, engaged in a relationship with one so degraded… it made him feel as if his world was turning upside down. He took to the woods once again to try and clear his head.

For so long he had pursued Kagome, only to have her turn down his proposals. He had been adamant that she would yield, and yet there she was, flirting under a tree with a dog demon; riding the back of this man as his clawed roamed the bare flesh of her creamy thighs.

It enraged him.

Feelings aside, his desire to save her as well… it hurt as a man; that he was over looked. And for what? For someone who wasn't even human?

And worse, his personality was beyond foul; he communicated in grunts and 'keh's', along with pointed looks that could kill. Half the time, Kyou was sure the hanyou was thinking of various ways to kill him.

He didn't trust him; didn't trust demons in general, but this bastard was special. This demon was trying to steal the woman he wanted.

And doing so successfully.

He had noticed that there was a change in their relationship- not that it there wasn't a moment between them that wasn't charged or tense- rather, now it seemed that they gave each other long, lingering looks, followed by discrete smiles. Kagome had a new, shy side to her, as well as one that hinted at something more wild.

He watched as she climbed onto his back, leaning into him, giggling. She looked happy- so happy that he wondered that if in the time he had known her she ever really had been.

At night was the worst; if the hanyou was not sleeping beside her, her head resting on his lap as he sat with his back against a tree, sword draped by his side, then he was holding her high in the branches. In the dark of night, Kyou couldn't see what the pair was doing, but he was sure that he did not like it.

For Kagomes part, she tried to be considerate, as is her nature. She did not do anything to try and rub her decision in his face, although she had made it clear, once again, that he was not her choice.

The had returned to the group together, walking slowly like a pair of lovers. It had immediately unnerved him. He know at that moment something drastic had changed.

He wondered how he could change it. Was it too late? Was there room for him in her heart?

As he walked through the woods, he considered again the words that the priestess had said to him; at first he had heard her plan with shock. What was wrong with this strange group of people? In all his life he had never met people who had motives covering their motives, intrigues and deception mingled with love and hate. He was a simple man, from a simple village. He wanted to be a good leader, and a good husband.

He wanted to offer that to Kagome.

He wanted to whisk her away from this craziness that she was enveloped in, and show her how blissful simplicity could be. How happy _they_ could be.

He had a dream for them- a sturdy hut to house them, children to fill the rooms with laughter. Kagome playing the wife, teaching the village to read with her surplus of books and healing the sick and old. He saw a future for them living happily, depending on each other and the village.

He saw a future without the presence of demons, without the sour attitude of the hanyou.

But even then, even if he was to build this life for them, would the shadow of Inuyasha forever linger over them? She-

She was on her knees.

He could see her through the clearing, see her petite frame kneeling down in front of _him_. Kyou felt a rage well up inside of him that he did not know he was capable of.

He snapped.

He ran towards the pair, his breathing unsteady, the fury and adrenaline pumping through his veins. All he could think was how badly he had to lift her up from the degrading position.

"Get away from her!" He shouted. The hanyou had already pushed Kagome behind him; he wasn't one to be taken unaware.

But the way that he looked at him, the seething rage in his eyes- it sent a shiver down Kyou's spine.

"I'm going to give you one second to turn yourself around, fucking bastard." His voice was iron clad. Kyou was unsure what he was fighting against, but he could tell he was struggling to keep control.

"Look at what you've made her do!" Kyou screamed. "Kagome, come to me! It's okay. I'll protect you." He stretched out his hand.

Inuyasha smirked, showing a dangerous fang. "I'm gonna enjoy beating the shit out of you." He turned to Kagome. "Don't try to stop me, wench. This asshole has it coming."

"Inuyasha!"

"Kagome!" Kyou pleaded once again, desperately trying to get her attention. "He's dangerous. Look at what he wants to do! What he had you doing!"

Her cheeks colored pink with embarrassment. She wanted nothing more than to bury her head into the fabric of Inuyashas's fire rat and never come out again. This was so mortifying.

Taking a deep breath, she peaked out from behind him.

"Kyou… Inuyasha, he- he didn't force me to do anything." She said, biting her lip.

"I know what I saw." He said, his face red with anger.

"You shouldn't have seen anything." Inuyasha seethed. They been interrupted by that asshole- but that wasn't what had his demon blood boiling.

He had seen her.

He had seen Kagome doing something intimate.

It infuriated him to know that Kyou had witnessed a side of her that only _he_ knew.

"I know what you _think_ you saw." Kagome said. "But you have it wrong. Inuyasha doesn't- he doesn't force me to do anything." She said, feeling rather uncomfortable. "I want to be with him."

"But-"

"You heard her, asshole."

"Kyou, why don't we talk for a bit?" Kagome offered, taking a step towards him.

"Like Hell." Inuyasha said, grabbing her wrist to whip her around.

"You know, you're doing nothing to help the whole 'controlling boyfriend' image you've got going on." She challenged, narrowing her eyes.

The dog demon considered her words for a moment, weighing each one, and then finally letting her go. He crossed his arms over his chest with a 'keh'.

Inuyasha inwardly smirked.

She had called him her boyfriend.

~.~

"Kyou… I know what you're doing, you do with the best of intentions," She started. "But I'm sorry. I can't be with you."

They had walked in an uncomfortable silence to a small clearing near a river; they had sat down, and Kagome had pulled her knees into her chest.

And just like that, bold and blunt, she rejected him.

"Look what he's making you do, Kagome! Open your eyes-!"

"What you saw… that was all me." She blushed at her confession. "I was the one who initiated it there. Me, not him. So please don't twist things in your head and think Inuyasha and I only have a physical relationship and he's forcing me to do things to boot. I am with him, because I want to be with him. I was doing that because I wanted to."

She left out the part that it turned her on, to know how he reacted. No need for Kyou to know those intimate details.

"Why?" He asked, shaking. "Why must it be him? Hes so rude, and rough!"

Kagome nodded. "He can be, until you get to know him."

"He's only going to hurt you."

Kagome shrugged. "Every relationship has ups and downs. But Inuyasha… he never intends to hurt me. In his heart, he's not malicious."

"Hes a demon." Kyou countered, as if that statement was more than enough of an argument.

"He is. And he's also a human. He's a person." Kagome looked at him, her eyes more determined that he had ever seen them. "Hes a _good_ person. And I love him."

"Kago-"

"I appreciate your feelings for me, and I appreciate what you want to do for me, for _us_ … but… I can't." She said simply. "I love Inuyasha. I have always, always loved him. And I think I always will."

"This is a mistake." He told her. "Staying with _him_ , with that demon.. it's a mistake that might cost you your life."

Kagome gave a small smile to his words.

"It might cost me my life. But for me, my life would be wasted if not with him." She placed her hand on his shoulder. "Im sorry. And I hope you understand. You're a good man. You deserve to have someone who loves you, whole heartily, and for the right reasons. Feeling second best… its not a feeling you want to live with. I know."

"I think that in time, you would come to love me."

She smiled as she shook her head. "Maybe. Maybe in time, I would grow to love you. But that's not what I want, for either of us. We deserve to be with people who make us happy, and make us feel fulfilled."

Kyou sighed.

He had lost.

"You're welcome to continue on the journey, and stay with us as we fight Naraku. But if Im honest…. I think it might be best for you to go home."

He looked up at her, and for the first time, she seemed far away.

"Home?" He echoed.

"Your village needs you. They need help rebuilding, and you need to start your own life. You said before that you were staying because of me." She said, her cheeks pink. "But, its not going to happen. I love Inuyasha."

Go home?

Was it time for him to leave? To admit defeat, and give up on the woman he wanted to marry?

She smiled at him, a soft and reassuring one.

She was so set, her mind so made up. There was no moving her iron clad will. There was no showing her the error of her ways.

She would never be able to move on from him, not when the dog demon was so rooted in her heart and memories.

Thought once again on the priestess offer.

She could make Kagome forget. The dead miko would take the dog demon away, and he would take Kagome back to his village. They could live the happy life he dreamed of for them.

"Yes," He agreed. "I think you're right. It's time to go home."

A/N:: Thank you for all of your reviews! I'm so touched so many people have been sticking with the story, even though the updates have been a little slower than usual. I'm going to try to get at least one chapter out a month, if not more. Please continue to read and review!


	28. Chapter 28

"Could we possibly go _any_ slower?" He asked, irritation straining his voice.

"Patience is a virtue, my friend." The monk chided, his metal staff clinking happily along at their turtles pace.

"Besides, it's a gorgeous day! What's wrong with enjoying the scenery every now and then?" Sango asked as she donned a kind smile. Honestly, if one was to look at her right now, walking peacefully in the company of three youkai, they would never guess she was a slayer capable of bringing down some of the strongest demons Inuyasha had ever seen.

"He wants to hurry up and get to Kaedes village because he wants to get rid of Kyou." The kit gave him a sly look, as if the runt had him totally figured out.

Well, he wasn't wrong.

The sooner they got to Kaede, the sooner Kyou could gather the books Kagome promised him. And from there, they would drop him off at his village. He wasn't sure for the life of him why the had to escort the man back, but apparently it wasn't his decision and they were fucking doing it anyway.

"Shippo!" Kagome reprimanded. "Don't be so rude! I'm sure that's not whats going on, _is it Inuyasha?"_ She looked at him and stressed her voice, meaning if he didn't agree with her there would be Hell to pay later.

"Feh." The hanyou crossed his arms over his chest. He was in no mood today. He didn't give a shit if it hurt the fragile humans feelings.

He did give a shit if Kagome was going to give him the silent treatment.

Gods, he could remember a time when he had done something to piss her off- it wasn't even a big deal, come to think of it- and the wench had gone around for three fucking days acting like he didn't exist. When he would talk to her she would look straight ahead, staring into nothing. At one point he jumped in front of her, blocking her path and causing her small frame to bump into his hard chest. She backed up a bit and called out to their friends, "watch out guys, there's some _really_ bad energy here!"

That was before they had become… whatever the Hell they were now. They were not married in the human way, nor mated like his demon begged to. They just simply belonged to each other.

Inuyasha smirked. Had they been together that time though, he would've thrown her over his shoulder and carried her off, fucking her until she screamed his name begging for more. Feh, maybe the silent treatment wasn't so bad.

"Ew. You're making a really gross face, Inuyasha." Shippo called out, breaking him free of his trance.

"Thinking of anything good?" Miroku asked, arching a brow.

"Have some decency." Kyou murmured, joining in.

He was torn.

Who should he strangle first? The runt for calling him out? Miroku for making it worse? Or Kyou for even speaking to him?

He looked to Kagome, whose cheeks had colored a pretty shade of pink. She bit her bottom lip and gave him a small smile. He felt his heart stop for a moment, a tightness in chest. It happened sometimes when he would catch a glimpse of her, see a side he wasn't expecting. Or when she laughed, looked at him, stretched in her sleep, curling closer to him. Really, anything she did make him feel as if he was over flowing with emotions, just so grateful to know her, to be allowed in her presence.

To be able to love her.

She held his gaze, a twinkle in her eyes that promised they would explore this thoughts later… in depth. Inuyasha felt the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile. He didn't give a shit who saw. She was his, and he was hers. Everyone else could get fucked.

Damn, now he was feeling fidgety for a whole new reason.

~.~

The trip to the village was slow, painfully slow, and it put him on edge. By the time they made it to the boarder, Inuyasha felt as if he was going to explode. Every muscle in his body was screaming at him to go faster, father. It was painful to hold back so much of his energy. And it didn't help either that he was so freaking frusterated.

It had been a week and a half since he and Kagome had been able to have sex, all thanks to her modern medicines that prevented pups. And while he was thankful (now was far from the opportune time to think about starting a family) he was less impressed with the amount of time it took for the remedy to take effect. Sure, he and Kagome had found ways to…relieve… each other, but his demon was craving something more. His thoughts were constantly drawn to the different ways he would bury himself inside of her, the feel of her walls pulsing around him as she reached her climax. The mark he wanted to desperately to give her. And even though the rather inventive ways Kagome found to please him were fun, it did nothing to sate the desire to truly fuck her.

And while this issue was one he was dealing with, albeit not the best, he was able to take the edge off by running and exercising his body to the point of temporary exhaustion. He could focus on the ground beneath his feet, the trees overhead, Kagome pressed against him.

But not today.

Today they fucking walked. And when he walked, with nothing to do, all he could think about was _her_.

And while it was true that they had walked a million times before, and he had been just as irritated, just as hungry for Kagome, he had to admit that this time it was different. Back then, he didn't know what he was missing. He hadn't had a taste of her. Sure, he assumed that she would be delicious, but until he had her, he had never been able to put a name to what he craved.

By the time they got to the village the sun was starting to set.

He needed to get out, needed to release the pent up energy. He-

"Hey, Inuyasha." Kagome smiled at him as she pulled on his sleeve, trying to get his attention. When had she started talking to him? Damn, he really was distracted. "Are you listening to what I said?"

"Um. Sorry. What?" He murmured, both embarrassed and confused.

"I _said_ " she drawled it out, chastising him for not paying attention. "Would you like to go for a run?"

"Eh?"

"I-Its okay if you don't want to!" She said quickly. "I just feel like I haven't gotten to spend time with you today and I- OH!"

Not needing to be asked a third time, he scooped the miko up and disappeared into the trees.

"Wh-where are they going?!" Kyou asked, his draw dropping. "We just got here!"

"Inuyasha probably wants some alone time with her. That's what _couples_ do." Miroku said, not phased by their withdrawal. "Ah, if only my dear Sango would allow me to whisk her away like that. I-"

"Enough, monk!" She shouted, her face bright from embarrassment.

"But still, shouldn't they at least come and greet Kaede? Shouldn't they-"

"You must stop focusing so much on them. It will only bring you unhappiness." Mirkou placed a friendly hand on Kyous shoulder. "Kagome has made her choice. It was hers to make. You must respect it."

"She wont be happy." He protested. "I could respect it, and leave it alone if I didn't have this gnawing feeling that she was going to be miserable in the end."

"Have you not been paying attention?" He gave a warm smile. "She's been happy this whole time. She was miserable when he was gone, torn and sad when she wanted to be with him, but felt she couldn't. For the first time in a year, she is finally at peace. If you've failed to see it it is your own selfishness and prejudice holding you back. I thought you were a better man that that."

He left him there, jaw slightly slack, and walked ahead to join the rest of his group. Kyou once again felt the sting of being an outsider. He didn't belong to their closed off world, didn't have a right to interfere in Kagome's life.

Was his plan with Kikyo formed out of selfishness? Was all of this being put into motion by his inability to accept the inevitable?

~.~

They ran for what seemed like an hour; The colors blurred past them as the hanyou picked up incredible speed, letting loose his energy and relishing his time alone with her. They had stopped briefly to let her change positions, and she once again found herself pressed against his strong back. She could feel his hard muscles contract as he leapt from branch to branch; she felt on a little tighter, just because she could. Sometimes she had trouble believing that a man like him could really be hers. He was so handsome, so full of devotion and love. When she was with him, she did not doubt for one moment that she was the anchor in his universe.

How different it was now. Before, she was filled with concerns, filled with what ifs. But ever since he came back, he was more open and honest. He had expressed how he felt, and it gave her a blanket of security that she did not know how badly she needed. In a way, the year apart had helped grow their relationship.

She leaned into him, hugging him tight.

"Wanna stop for a bit?" She asked. Golden eyes looked down at her as he nodded. It felt too brief; his attention was back on the road before them, scouting a good place to rest.

He finally found them a clearing he deemed safe enough, and slowly lowered himself to the ground so that she could climb off his back. Kagome stretched her arms high overhead then turned, looping her arms around his neck.

"Do you feel a little better?" She asked as he circled her waist.

"The farther we are away from that asshole, the better I feel." He complained, unable to help himself.

"Oh geez, give it a rest." Inuyasha frowned as she released her hold on him. "Kyou is-"

"A waste of time. We should just send him off on his way."

"So it's a waste of time to see our friend off to his village, but this-" She motioned to the clearing before them, her tone becoming harsher as she suddenly became aggravated "-isnt?"

"Feh. This is worth it." He drew her in closer, capturing her pouty lips in one swift movement. She was tense at first, caught off guard and still irritated, but she quickly relaxed into his kiss, sighing happily. Inuyasha pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before he sat down, pulling her into his lap. His large sleeves engulfed her small body. They sat quietly for a while, pressing small, little kisses on each other. It wasn't done out of passion or heat, as their earlier one was. It was the need for contact, the need to touch.

"I just want to get this over with as soon as we can." He said, breaking their trance.

"Huh?" She asked, taken aback.

"No, not _this_. Dummy." He smiled at her, revealing a fang. "I want to find the shards. I want to complete the jewel and defeat Naraku."

"Yeah." Kagome nodded at the familiar confession.

"I don't want to spend our time doing unnecessary crap like bring Kyou home. I want this to be over so we can start our life together. I hate dragging you around, making you sleep on the ground, fighting demons and always in danger. I want to build you a house, and live a normal life." He swallowed hard, admitting a fantasy he had not shared.

Kagome turned in his arms to look at him, straddling his lap.

"I want that too." She pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "I want to sleep next to you on _our_ futon, and cook for you and-"

"Just don't over season it." He said, wrinkling his nose for effect. Kagome hit his shoulder in mock anger.

"I'd eat it anyways."

"Good. It's the husbands duty to eat whatever the wife makes."

"And that's what I'd be?" He asked, heat burning in his golden eyes. "The husband?"

"As long as I'm the wife." She smiled.

Inuyasha sat, the woman he loved in his lap with the sun to her back. The pink and golden hues colored her skin giving her a soft glow. The sun, her beauty, her smile, it was all so blinding. He reached up to move a lock of her ink black hair away from her shoulder. She did not shudder from fear when his claws neared her flesh; she just smiled at him as he ran his thumb over her collarbone, amazed at how freely he was allowed to touch her.

"I love you." His words came out slow and content.

It surprised him; he had not meant to say it, not out loud anyway. He was simply swept away in the moment, too over come to hold back his feelings.

The hanyou was rewarded when her eyes grew wide as she processed his words. Kagome ran her hands over his cheeks, cupping his face lovingly. Slowly, she bent her head to grace his lips with a kiss so sweet he swore he was tasting honey. When he pulled away he was breathless, panting as he rested his head against her shoulder, her scent wrapping around him as he laid small kisses to her neck.

"Kagome…"

Just the mention of her name sent a shiver down her spine; the coil of desire rapidly winding in deep in her belly. She wanted more; wanted to touch him more, feel the strength of his muscles under her hands. Kagome was sure that if she could, she would devour him whole.

He applied a small amount of pressure as his hands descended down her back, coming to rest at the luscious curves of her hips. Leaning up, determined to be in the dominant position he-

Stopped dead in his tracks.

It happened so quickly even Inuyasha wasn't sure what had set him off. All he knew was that if he did not take Kagome and run, things would go bad. His every sense told him that danger was coming. He could feel his fangs beginning to lengthen, and inwardly Inuyasha knew he was on the edge of losing control, although he couldn't pinpoint why. Something was coming, something was causing his demon to feel so threatened that his basic needs for survival and protection were aggressively taking over.

He did not notice the soul collectors prowling by as his eyes began to bleed red.

~.~

A:N/ Sorry for the long wait everyone! I hope this chapter was worth it!

Things have been crazy hectic, and for a while I was feeling a bit of writers block. But, I'm back at it, and I'm hoping to get the next chapter out within the next two weeks! And as always, comments are loved and appreciated 3


	29. Chapter 29

Dedication: This is for all of you that have been asking for updates and have stuck with the story, and in particular, tohoru-12, who asked for this for Christmas ;)

"Kagome…"

Just the mention of her name sent a shiver down her spine; the coil of desire rapidly winding in deep in her belly. She wanted more; wanted to touch him more, feel the strength of his muscles under her hands. Kagome was sure that if she could, she would devour him whole.

He applied a small amount of pressure as his hands descended down her back, coming to rest at the luscious curves of her hips. Leaning up, determined to be in the dominant position he-

Stopped dead in his tracks.

It happened so quickly even Inuyasha wasn't sure what had set him off. All he knew was that if he did not take Kagome and run, things would go bad. His every sense told him that danger was coming. He could feel his fangs beginning to lengthen, and inwardly Inuyasha knew he was on the edge of losing control, although he couldn't pinpoint why. Something was coming, something was causing his demon to feel so threatened that his basic needs for survival and protection were aggressively taking over.

He did not notice the soul collectors prowling by as his eyes began to bleed red.

Pulling Kagome and clutching her close, he grasped her tightly. She squeaked as her body lifted from the ground as his own took to the air.

"Inuyasha!" She cried, "What the heck is going on?! Is there-"

A low growl swiftly ended her chatter. She knew better than to question him at a time like this.

Inuyasha was having difficulty keeping control.

On the one hand, he wanted to get as far away as he could from whatever the fuck was nearby.

And that scared him.

He was never one to run from a fight. Fuck, he enjoyed taking on opponents four times his size. When it came to fight or flight, he always chose brute strength and power. This was the first time he has taken the latter.

And it wasn't even his choice, not really.

His demon had jumped into action, his instincts on full alert. All he knew was he had to get the fuck out of there…. Had to get _her_ away.

He would save Kagome.

 ** _Protect her. Protect our mate._**

He would make sure that Kagome was safe from K-

"FUCK!" He growled as he grit his teeth. "Not now."

The pain was back, and it was so strong it was blinding. The world felt like it was spinning.

"Tell me whats going on! Please! Let me help!" He could hear he cry, but it seemed like it was so far away.

 _She_ seemed so far away.

He could feel the feather light touches to his cheek, tracing the purple stripes that painted his face. The scent of salt from her tears had his throat feeling dry. Once again, he was causing her to cry.

But it was getting fainter and fainter.

"S'fine." He slurred, tightening his grip on her. He had to make to there. "Going to…The village…" He said between pants.

He could feel himself drifting somewhere between his demon and consciousness. Would his youkai take over? Would he black out as he had in the past? Sluggishly, he debated which would be better for the woman in his arms. Would he harm her as a full demon, or would he protect her? Is it better to hope that he becomes a useless lump, dead to the world, so she can run on and have some chance of safety?

In the end, it leaves her vulnerable.

Once again, he couldn't fucking protect her.

She rose up in his arms, enough to force her pretty face into his sight.

"K'gome…"

"You have to stop! You're going to pass out… or turn full demon… or-"

So pretty.

So sweet and concerned.

He stopped, holding her closer for a moment, just before he let her go.

"Run" He said, his voice raspy from strain. "Get to the village."

"Are you crazy?!" She shrieked. "I cant leave you here!"

He looked up at her, eyes gleaming red.

He was turning.

He was fading.

"Inuyasha!"

Her voice grew softer as the pain grew louder, more overwhelming… her face farther away…

And then, there was nothing.

No pain, no

~.~

Kagome panted as she reached the village limit, an unconscious hanyou slumped over her back. He had passed out. He had been trying to fight it, trying to push her away and leave him for whatever was on their tails. But it hadn't worked; just like so many times before he had succumbed to his own demons that haunted his mind.

How he carried her so effortlessly on his back night and day, as if she was feather light showed the true extent of his strength. Kagome had a new appreciation for the burden he bared.

How she had made it back to the village with an unconscious dog demon was something short of a miracle, especially considering that something so frightening was just around the corner. Whatever it was hadn't seemed to pursue them. They had traveled in an anxious peace.

She was tired, bone tired. She wished that someone was there that could help her, like when she returned from the well. It seemed that no matter what day or the hour, when she made the decent into the past Inuyasha was waiting for her, hand outstretched to lift her up and take the burden.

"Just a little more, kay?" She gripped his arm tighter as she carried on, the sight of Kaedes hut in the distance her guiding light.

Gods, she hoped she could make it. The aches in her body, the pain that radiated through her from exhaustion… it was taking its toll. She just didn't have the energy she used to.

~.~

It was nearly dawn before Kagome awoke on the mat in Kaedes hut. She clenched her eyes shut, resisting the incoming rays that peeked through the straw door. She was so tired. She didn't want to get up, not yet. The physical and emotional toll of getting to the village with Inuyasha-

Inuyasha!

Kagome bolted up, her eyes wide and searching. She felt a weight tug on her hand, and it was only then that she noticed he his clawed fingers laced around hers. Her heart skipped several beats when her blue eyes rested on the hanyou, who was sleeping soundly beside her.

"Inuyasha…" She smoothed his bangs away from his face to get a better look. The purple streaks had receded, yet he was still unconscious. He was no longer full demon.

It could only mean that he was suffering again. Just like before… in the cave…

What should she do now?

What _could_ she do now?

It had been Kikyo who had cured him when he was unconscious for so long before. Kikyou had been the one with the power to save him…

She had to find the dead priestess.

That was the only way she could help Inuyasha fight for his life.

It would mean losing him again.

She was no fool. She knew that this would be the last and final time that she could be near him, breath in his earthy scent and feel the safety of his arms.

But she would rather know that he was alive, and suffer the loneliness of his absence than to have him gone forever.

She just had to get up.

It was so hard to stand. So hard to let go of his hand for the last time.

"Child, what are you doing up so early?"

Kagomes eyes immediately shifted over to Kaede, who carried a small bucket of water in her hands. "You should be resting. I do not know what journey you had been on, but I know the cure for such exertion is rest."

"I cant rest…." Her voice trailed. "Not when Inuyasha is like this…" She glanced once more at the demon by her side taking pause. "Besides," she straightened her back and hardened her voice. "I'm fine."

"Child… There is something of great importance I must discuss with you."

"Cant it wait? I have to go- I have to find Kikyo!"

"Kikyo? Whatever on Earth could my dead sister do?"

"She… she can heal him." Kagome bit her lip from frustration. "She-"

"Before all that, I must tell you. Before you speak another word of leaving and of souls that should have passed, I must have my say. Inuyasha is safely asleep and I fear this may be the only time I can say this truth. Be the obedient girl I know you to be, and listen."

Kagome looked at the old priestess, determination and something else in her eyes….

Sadness.

Taking a deep breath in, Kagome nodded, her body and spirit much calmer than before.

After all, she knew what Kaede was going to say.

"I am not sure what has transpired, or caused it to be, but my dear girl, you…" The mikos eyes softened as unshed tears pooled. "This is a difficult thing to say." She murmured, a small smile on her lips. "Kagome… you…-"

Kagome placed her hand over Kaedes, an attempt to try and soothe her. She gave a kind smile; Kagome knew how much this pained the miko.

"I know. I'm dying." The tears ran down her face before she realized it. "I know it." The silence that followed made her heart clench.

"But how-?"

"Miroku told me some time ago, after I recovered from the failed mating."

"Failed mating?!" Kaede jumped in surprise. "Why would the bonds reject each other?"

"Miroku seems to think its because of Inuyashas condition when he tried to mark me. Maybe not all of him was in agreement that it was what he wanted, or maybe because I was unaware it was happening. Sango said that it could have been due to the fact that on some part there were no consenting parties."

"So the mating failed… and the result is this?" Kaede asked, her brow arched in wonder.

Kagome shook her head. "No. At first I was very ill. Everyone thought I was going to die… but then some how, I got better."

"Yet at such a high cost."

"Miroku said that recovering from that ate away my life energy. He explained to me that if my lifespan were a candle to represent all the time I have from birth to death, I would be able to see my light very dull and my wax very low."

"Kagome…"

"Can you see it, Kaede? Do you know how much time I have?"

The old priestess closed her eyes as she answered. "No more than 4 months."

"That's what Miroku said. I knew something was up. After I recovered, he acted so suspiciously… I cornered him and made him tell me what he knew."

"I am so very sorry."

Kagome swallowed hard. "I've had a good life. I don't regret how I've spent my time."

"But still, you do not feel bitter? Angry that your life had been taken away in such a careless act?"

The young woman shook her head. "No. In fact, Miroku said that it would've killed anyone else. It was because of my spiritual powers that I am able to still be alive." She took a deep breath and smiled. "So, right now, Im just thankful that I have more time to spend with the people I love." Her eyes trailed down to Inuyasha. "That's why, I have to go Kaede…. I have to find Kikyo so she can help Inuyasha."

"What does my sister have to do with his condition? Was she the one who placed the curse?"

"Curse?" Kagome echoed. "It wasn't a curse… When Inuyasha left… When he left he asked Kikyo to erase his memories of me. For whatever reason, some of them came back. He cant remember leaving, and hes insistent that he would never ask for such a thing… The current him has forgotten his most recent feelings." She cast her eyes down, reflecting once again that Inuyasha would probably choose to be with Kikyo, if he regained his memory. "Every so often he gets a sharp pain… he tries to hide it, but I can tell from the way he scrunches his face, or the change in his behavior… I think it happens when more memories try to resurface."

"And this…?"

"He was like this before… after the failed mating he couldn't get up. Kikyo…. She came back and took him. I don't know what she did, but I know she made him better."

"She reworked the curse, that is what she did."

"Eh?"

"I can sense the spell placed on him. It is dark and angry. It was not something given to heal or help, as in our nature. It was done with impure intentions, and a magic that should never be weaved. In trying to erase his beloved memories of you, she cursed him in the process. Whether on purpose or accident, I have no way of knowing… The spell lost effect, but the ill intentions remain."

"So how do we remove it?!" Kagome panted. "Is there something we can do? Something I can try? Should I get Kikyo?!"

"There is something we could try, although it would take the spiritual power of not just myself. Miroku would need to assist as well."

"Hes too far away! He doesn't even know were here…" Kagome panicked. "Is…. Is it something I can do?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"Kagome…"

"I don't know to what extent, but I know I have some spiritual powers. I've healed Inuyasha before, and I've purified the jewels countless times… Is it something I can do Kaede?" She pleaded.

"Aye, it is." The old woman sighed. "However, I cant allow you to do this. I fear it would take from your already depleted life energy."

Kagome smiled and let out a breath of relief. "That's okay. I _want_ to do this."

"You mustn't-"

"Its my life, and my time. I would rather save the person that I love, and never have another day on this Earth, than spend 4 months with him suffering." She squared her shoulders as she looked at Kaede. "Now, tell me what I have to do."

A/N:: Hey! I hope this chapter was worth the wait! With the end of the semester, daily life and a nasty case of writers block, this chapter just didn't want to happen. But, now that things are moving again Im sure excited to finish this up! I hope everyone enjoyed it :)

And, if I don't get another chapter out before the holidays, I hope everyone has a wonderful season 3


	30. Chapter 30

"Now tell me what I have to do." Kagome squared her jaw as the old woman looked her up and down.

"Aye, I will tell you. Although, I still feel it is best to wait for Miroku. He and the others will only be gone for a short time. They-"

"No." The woman said firmly. "We do this now. Inuyasha, hes-" Kagome bit her lip as she looked down at him. "He's in pain."

Kaede let out a deep sigh before she nodded her head in agreement. "I I have never seen him in such a state. Even when pinned to the scared tree, he wore a face of contentedness."

The hanyous face twisted in agony, beads of sweat dripping down his forehead. Kagome felt her chest tighten from the pained look on his face. All the times he had saved her, protected her.. Now she had the chance to help him.

"How do I start?" She asked more resolutely than before.

"This is a very old magic. This healing is very powerful."

"Will- will it hurt him?"

"No, on the contrary." The old miko said. "I will start. As I begin, I will explain the process, so that you may take over when the time is right."

Kagome nodded and watched as the practiced teacher brought her hands over the hanyou. Kaede closed her eyes, focusing. "To begin, you must- Ah!" She quickly moved her hands away from the sleeping demon.

"Whats wrong?!" Kagome frantically asked. "What happened?!"

"He- His energy…" Kaede slowed down to catch her breathing. "His demonic energy will not let me heal him."

Kagome could practically feel his energy lashing out around him, eager to protect his unconscious self.

Kaede assessed the hanyou, the looked Kagome steadily in the eye. "He will not let me heal him, and I doubt he will let the monk as well. It must be you."

She nodded, swallowing hard. "Okay."

"Just place your hands on him."

"My hands? Where?"

"There are traditional places, such as the chest, head and feet. But I believe you will know when you feel it."

Kagome did as the priestess said, slowly moving her hands over his body until she stopped on his head.

"I-I feel a pull here." She said, pressing lightly. "What do I do now?"

"Calm yourself, child. Do not let your nerves be riled. Just let your healing energy flow to him. I am sure he will allow it."

"B-but how do I do that?" she stammered out nervously.

"Child, relax. It is my belief that you have been healing him this way for quite some time." Kagomes looked up to search the mikos face. "You have been by his side for many years now. You have been unconsciously healing him all along. The difference now is you are aware you are doing it."

Kagome closed her eyes to think. Maybe that was true. How many times had he been in a foul mood, and just a touch in the right spot could help ease his attitude?

"Okay. I think this is where I need to concentrate on."

"Just let the energy flow. Relax."

Kagome closed her eyes and nodded, a feeling of relaxation beginning to wash over her.

"Reiki can heal a variety of illnesses, but due to your spiritual power it is even more effective. Just by being near you, I can feel the effects."

Kagome let out a deep breath. Her spiritual energy was flickering around her. She was sure she could see a glow radiating from the two of them.

' _Please, let this work.'_ She begged. _'Please, Inuyasha.'_

~.~

His body felt tingly.

And numb.

And like fire was running through his veins.

It made no fucking sense. He was filled with an anxious energy and he had no idea why.

" _Tell me about what happened, Kikyo." He asked._

" _There is nothing much to tell. There was a blast. You lost your memories. It is the same story I have told you countless times, Inuyasha."_

" _No, not that. Tell me about_ _ **why**_ _were doing this again? How the hell the jewel shattered! I don't understand-"_

" _Do you not trust me Inuyasha?" She asked. "Do you not believe me when I say it is a duty we must do?"_

" _No, I-"_

" _Then why do you question me? Why must I constantly repeat myself because your memory is faulty?"_

" _S-sorry." He apologized, looking down at the grass._

Fuck. He had forgotten about that.

Kagome said that he had spent time with Kikyo.

That he had left her to be with the dead miko.

Gone for almost a year.

Kagome told him about what happened at the cave. How he took and it almost cost her her life.

 _He could see her through his blood shot eyes._

 _She wanted him; her scent was proof alone._

Shit! No-

He didn't want to remember that. He didn't want to remember what his demon had done. How he had-

 _Bitten down on the flesh of her skin until she cried out, the metallic taste burning his mouth._

Why was he remembering this now? It felt as if a floodgate of memories were hitting him at once.

He felt the loneliness of being without Kagome. How desperately he had tried to figure out the mystery woman's identity that was revealed to him in fractured memories, each clue more precious than the last.

How he had tried to deny it; how he chalked it up to a witches spell, a fantasy he had forgotten Maybe even Kikyo.

Then he remembered her scent. The moment he caught wind of her wildflowers, and how for one instant, it clicked together.

 _Kagome_.

Searching, constantly searching for her.

In the dark, in his mind, in the trees and shadows.

He was always, always trying to find her.

" _You will come with me, Inuyasha."_

" _Kikyo…." He started, words failing him. He knew it would someday come to this. He knew it, and still, he wasn't prepared. "No…" Was all he could muster up the courage to say._

" _So you choose her then? That girl over me?"_

 _He paused for a moment._

 _There was no doubt._

" _Yes."_

 _He saw something twist within her, something dangerous blossom from the pain of rejection._

" _Do you know she and I still share a connection, Inuyasha?"_

" _What?"_

" _It is true, my soul is no longer joined with hers. But I can still feel the traces of her. It is how I can track you down so easily."_

 _He furrowed his brow together._

" _Do you think you can protect her at all times? I will find her, and I will call her to me."_

" _Kikyo-"_

" _And she will come chasing me, like the fool that she is. What should I do once I have her? A spell to incapacitate her is simple enough. And from there…. I will pull her soul from her body."_

" _KIKYO!"_

" _Shall I join it with mine? Piece together the broken parts to make a whole? No… I'd sooner send her to the pits of Hell."_

 _He felt his claws lengthen as he flexed them, his fangs bared to this dangerous predator._

 _And still, he wondered if he could do it._

 _Could he kill her? This woman he had been through so much with?_

" _Relax your anger, Inuyasha. We both know you would never turn your claws on me. I will hold true to my word. I will destroy that girl. Unless…_

 _Unless you join me."_

 _He felt his stomach sink._

 _He couldn't kill Kikyo._

 _And if she was walking around, she was a danger to Kagome._

" _Will I have your word? If I go with you, you will leave Kagome be?"_

 _He watched as the corners of her lips turned up into a smile._

" _Of course. What do I care if that child breathes or dies? It is you by my side that I care about."_

" _Okay." He said, admitting defeat. "Let me tell her- Let me at least say goodbye."_

" _Be quick about it." She demanded._

 _He turned to leave, looking over his shoulder. "You wont touch her?"_

 _He watched as she narrowed her eyes._

" _I keep my word, Inuyasha. Will you keep yours?"_

He… he really had left her.

He had really done it.

He should have killed Kikyo.

Should have gutted the bitch on the spot for what he threated to do to Kagome.

Kagome.

He wanted to see her.

Wanted to hold her.

" _Inuyasha, please, come back to me."_

He could hear her words, he could hear the cries behind them.

' _Don't worry Kagome. I'll find my way back.'_

~.~

"Did you meet with the half breed?" Kikyo could almost see his crooked smile from behind his baboon suit.

"Interesting choice of words coming from you, do you not think so, Onig-"

"Silence." He cut in. "That name has nothing to do with me anymore."

Had she not been made of clay, she would've smirked. "And yet you seem so bothered by it. Tell me, how deeply have you hidden away the thief I once knew?"

"My patience is quickly waning." He warned. "Have you met with him?"

"He is still with that child." She answered.

"Of course he is. He has no desire to be with a dead woman who betrayed him."

Kikyo narrowed her eyes at him. Naraku knew he was flirting with dangerous territory.

"And what news of the fisher?"

"That man continues to cling to _her_. I do not believe his resolve will change. He seems to want her at all costs."

The baboon let out a laugh.

"Does it bother you? The way that everyone fawns over your reincarnation? Men swarm to her feet, the man you loved even broke free from a spell to find his way back to her side. I would be quiet upset; but then again, I was a jealous man."

"He will keep his promise." Kikyo vowed. "I will make sure of it."

"And how exactly will you do that? The only way this plan can work is if he cooperates."

"I met with him just today." Kikyou said. "He made some excuse to leave my sisters village and we discussed the next steps."

"Which are?"

"What sort of fool do you take me for?"

"Fair enough." Narkau said, a slow laugh leaking out. "Then I will assume that the next time we meet, it will be for the exchange. You will hand Kagome over to me, and I will effectively end her life."

The dead priestess gave a slight nod, the only indication that she was still willing to go through with the plan.

She had met with him. He had left his group to report to her, like the good child he was. Inuyasha had taken off with _her_ rather abruptly, and it seemed to ignite a fire of jealously in the man that Kikyo had not seen.

Not to that extent at least.

He was eager to get the plan moving. He wanted Inuyasha out of the way. He wanted that girl for himself.

She wondered what she would do with him, once this was over. As soon as his part was played, she had no use for the man.

And if he was left alive it would mean loose ends- a weak spot in her plot.

Her plan was simple, as all the best plans were.

Kyou would call Kagome out to the woods; the poor fool. From his view point, he was creating an opening for Kikyo to claim Inuyasha and take him away.

No.

Quiet the opposite.

She would set a spell on Kagome. Not one to erase her memories as she had done with Inuyasha.

Just one to make it so she was unable to move.

She wanted the girl alive. Wanted her to feel the terror of being lifted off by her soul collected and carried away to Naraku.

He would kill her.

She didn't care to know how. It didn't matter.

All that did was that once the deed was done, she could recast her magic on the hanyou, and he could truly forget.

And then, she wouldn't have to be alone anymore.

~.~

Inuyasha groaned as his eyes fluttered open. The light hurt. His head hurt. Fuck, his whole body hurt.

He looked to the side to see a sleeping Kagome. He could smell her sweat and practically feel her exhaustion radiating off of her.

"Kag-"

"Let her sleep, Inuyasha." Kaede whispered. "The poor child needs it."

Inuyasha raised a brow as he assessed the situation.

He was in Kaedes hut. But for the life of him he couldn't remember how he got there. Or falling asleep. Or why the hell Kagome looked so exhausted.

"Let us talk outside." The old miko whispered.

Pushing past the pain, Inuyasha made a move to stand. He felt Kagomes hand tighten around his as she let out a small moan. She seemed so small and weak. His chest began to tighten.

Just what the fuck had happened?

"Kaede…" He started, his voice as unsteady as his feet. "Whats going on? Kagome-"

"Did a good job. You should be proud of that girl."

Inuyasha furrowed his brow. Of course he was proud of her.

He wasn't exactly sure what the old hag was talking about specifically though.

"Quit skirting around the issue." He demanded. "Whats going on."

"That child… She carried you to the village. You collapsed in the forest somewhere, and somehow that little thing brought you to the hut."

That's right…. They had been out for a run… and then he felt danger and his demon was taking over.

He passed out?

And Kagome-

"She carried me all the way back here? Fuck, no wonder she was exhausted! Sh-"

"That is not the reason alone. Kagome… healed you, Inuyasha."

"Eh?"

"She preformed reiki, to try and remove the spell my sister had cast on you. However…"

"What?" He asked, his voice deep and raspy.

"It was unlike anything I had ever witnessed. She holds more raw power within her anyone I have ever seen. More powerful than Kikyo, if she had the right training."

"Feh. I always knew she was strong."

"Inuyasha, I have been a part of many healing ceremonies. The spell that was laid on you was a vicious one. In all my years, I have never seen dark magic woven so deeply…

And yet, Kagome was able to unravel it. It started out as a simple reiki…. But what transpired, I have never seen a healing like that. That girl is special."

"You don't have to tell me that." Inuyasha blushed. "Is that why she is so tired?"

"The healing took quiet a bit of energy out of her. I think her powers pulled from her lifes energy to give to you. I warned her that it would be dangerous to do this by herself, especially considering how little time she has left-"

"What?" Inuyasha felt as if the ground had dropped beneath him. "Say that again, old woman."

Kaede's good eye widened in shock. She had never considered that the two had not yet had the conversation.

"I do not wish to tell you information that should be said by another."

"And yet you already did. So say it again, and say it clearly." He was dangerously close to losing control. Inuyasha dug his claws into his palms, breaking the skin and slightly drawing blood.

But the old priestess simply shook her head. "No, I will not be the one to say-"

"DAMN IT! FUCKING TELL ME WHATS WRONG WITH HER!" He howled as his body shook.

"Inuyasha." Kagomes voice drifted to him. Small and fragile.

Had she always sounded that way? Looked so delicate?

Leaving his anger aside he rushed to her.

"Kagome, are you alright?" His amber eyes roved over her, looking for injuries.

"You're okay." She said, a small sob in her voice. Kagome placed her hands on his cheeks as she looked at him. "I'm so happy it worked."

He couldn't take it.

Wrapping his arms around her, he drew her in close, crushing her small frame against him. He felt like it had been eons since he held her in his arms.

Gods, he loved her.

For how long had he been searching for her? Unaware of it, actively looking, clinging to the bits she left behind? The pieces he desperately hung on to…

And now she was here, standing right in front of him.

 _His._

And she was okay.

"You should be asleep. Kaede said that it took a lot out of you."

"How could anyone sleep with all the racket?" she asked with a small smile.

 _What the hell was the old hag going on about anyway?_

"What the hell was the old hag going on about anyway?"

Fuck.

He hadn't meant to say it out loud.

"What did she say?" She asked, looking over at the woman. Kaede gave a sympathetic smile as she walked past them to the hut.

"She said- She- She said-"

"Wait, wait." Kagome bit her lip.

She was stalling.

He knew her better than that. When she looked up at him, her blue eyes were wide with unshed tears.

"Are you okay? Do you remember anything?" Kagome asked.

"Yeah." Inuyasha nodded. "Yeah, I do."

"Th-that's great! Maybe this will be the last time that you black out! Kaede said-"

"Tell me whats going on, Kagome."

The dark haired woman shook her head.

"I don't want to say it, Inuyasha." She buried her head into his chest. "I don't want to say it to you and make it true."

"Kagome, I cant help if you don't tell me clearly."

Taking a deep breath, she held it in for a moment before she released.

"I have… 4 months… maybe less."

"4- 4 months?"

Kagome gave a weak nod.

"4 months until what?"

Blue eyes locked on amber. She bit her lip, the salt of her silent tears assaulting his nose.

"Until I die."

A/N:: Hello everyone! I hope that everyone enjoyed the update :) I wasn't super happy with this one. No matter how many times I wrote it, my imagination just wouldn't seem to match the flow of the chapter. I'll try to get the next chapter out soon. There's not too many left!


	31. Chapter 31

Kagome felt sick from anxiousness, waiting to see what her hanyou would do.

She had been dreading this since the moment she knew her fate- Confronting Inuyasha with the truth of her mortality.

In the back of her mind she had always known that their time together would have an expiration. She was human… and was hanyou. He had already lived 50 years longer than her, sleep pinned to a tree, never aging a day. What was that in terms of a dog demons lifespan?

She didn't want to leave him alone.

She didn't want to leave him.

He just stood there. Head down, bangs covering his face, features unreadable.

Inuyasha was unsure of what to do.

Part of him wanted to grab Kagome and clutch her close. Take off into the tree and never look back.

Fuck their friends, fuck the shards. To hell with Naraku, Kaede and everyone else who wants to get in their way.

They could just take off, just the two of them.

He hated sharing her during the best of times.

But now?

Now…

Now he wasn't sure he deserved her time.

How selfish was he?

Could he really force her to spend her remaining time by his side?

She must resent him, surely, somewhere in the back of her mind, she must be blaming him.

After all, its his fault.

He should go.

Fuck, he should just let her be and leave.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

He ruined her life, damn it, he fucking ended her life!

This is his fault, his fucking fault!

He wanted to run, wanted to run his claws through something.

He felt his demon welling up, demanding to break free of its cage.

She couldn't go. Not her.

Not Kagome.

He wouldn't let her die…. He couldn't live in a world without her…

"Inuyasha…. Say something… please…"

He clenched his fists by his side. He should go.

She's better off without him. Why is it that everything he loves fucking turns to shit?

Everyone he loves leaves.

The smell of salt suddenly began to drift over, assaulting his senses and making him pause.

This wasn't about him.

It wasn't about his inadequacies, about his feelings and fears.

This was about her, and what she wanted.

And for some fucked up reason, she wanted him.

Pulling her close, he buried his nose in the crown of her hair and breathed in.

He couldn't leave her.

He was greedy; a selfish bastard to the last.

But she accepted him like that.

 _Wanted_ him like that.

"Tell the others we'll be back later." He said over his shoulder to Kaede. The old miko was left in the dust as the pair leapt into the canopy of the trees.

' _Why must things always turn so sour for Inuyasha?'_ Kaede wondered. Was his soul paying heavily for past sins? Or was this simply his bad lot in life, the curse of mixing demon blood with human?

' _Gods, the boy has suffered enough. Let him find some happiness.'_ The old priestess let out a heavy sigh as she turned back to the hut.

~.~

Kagome wrapped the fire rat around her shoulders, a slight shiver running down her spine. The fire was starting to run low. She knew Inuyasha would be back soon with firewood and game.

He wouldn't keep her waiting.

It had been four days since she told him.

Four days since he picked her up and took to the trees.

They had found a little cave, a hot spring nearby.

The past four days had been nothing short of wonderful.

When they had found their shelter he did little more than hold her in his arms, hugging her body close. She could feel his trembling hands fighting for control. The roved over her skin, as if trying to create a flesh memory of her body. It didn't feel sexual or heated.

At first, it just felt fragile and sad.

He cradled her face in his hands, looking into her eyes. She did the same, mirroring his actions as she stroked the place his human ears would be. The way he pinched his eyebrows together, the look in his eyes… she knew it so well. He was struggling, blaming himself.

"Kagome, I-"

She leaned in, her kisses soft and searching. She couldn't bare to hear the words, couldn't stand to let them leave his lips.

She knew.

Gods, she already knew.

The kiss was slow and tender. She could feel the affection for him welling up inside of her.

"I love you, Inuyasha." Her words were breathy, needy. "I love you so much."

Pulling her body closer, if that was even possible, he buried his nose into the crook of her neck, inhaling deeply.

"I cant lose you, Kagome. I lost so much time already."

"But were here, together…now."

"Its not enough." He gripped her tighter. "It wont ever be enough."

Inuyashas voice sounded hoarse from strain.

"Yeah." She agreed. "I know." She began to run her hands through his silver hair, rubbing the base of his ears.

"This is my fault. If I hadn't followed Kikyo, if I hadn't-"

Kagome lifted his face, forcing him to make eye contact.

"No, I wont let you think like that. This isn't your fault."

"How can you say that? Im a fucking idiot. If it wasn't for me leaving... if it wasn't for me not being able to- fuck! Kagome, you would've been better off never meeting me. You-"

"Stop that."

"You'd be safe at your house. I wouldn't of- I wouldn't of hurt you and-"

"And I wouldn't of known you. Or Sango, or Mirkou, Shippo… I wouldn't have been able to come here." She kissed him quickly before finishing. "I would've never known what its like to love you. I'll never be sorry for that."

"I cant lose you." His body was shaking, desperation in his voice. She clasped her hands on the sides of his face, forcing him to look her in the eyes.

"I'll find you again. My soul will be reborn. Our souls… were tied together… I'll come back to you… I promise."

Kagome didn't know she was crying, not until she felt the hot tears.

"But I want you… As you are now…" He could feel the sting of his own tears threatening to shed. "I want Ka-Go-Me." He wrapped his arms around her, moving his face from her view.

For a long time, they stayed there like that. Simply holding each other, soaking in the shared pain and sorrow, happiness and love.

But the sun had set, the night had gotten cold and with the dawn came new resolutions.

They made plans, discussed what they would do with the upcoming months.

The final months.

"I want to continue to look for the shards. Not the whole time, but for a little bit." She said.

"No way. I'm not wasting our time looking for those damn things. Not when…"

Kagomes smile was bright. "I want to continue like normal. I want to do my part and help." With a slight blush staining her cheeks she added, "B-But I'd like a break… to have more time alone with you."

Giving her a swift kiss on the lips Inuyasha smiled back. "No complaints here."

Irresistible.

The dog demon was irresistible.

Kagome brought her hands up his arms, feeling the defined muscles in his biceps. He was so strong, the power and strength practically radiating off of him.

"I really love your arms." She said, more to herself than to him.

"Eh?" The hanyou cocked an eyebrow at her odd admission.

Kagome bit her lip before she continued.

"I mean… Your arms…"

 _Why bother being embarrassed now?_ She thought to herself. With a blush she finally said, "They're really sexy… Touching them, feeling how strong you are… makes me want you."

She looked up, her eyes heavy, needy. Inuyasha felt his breath catch, both from her boldness and the way she was looking at him.

A pleading, begging sort of look.

Like she was desperate for him, the way he was desperate for her.

"Kagome." It came out as more of a growl than her name, but it sent shock waves through her none the less. He lowered his head, silver hair spilling over his shoulder as he angled to kiss her, hungry to taste her, take her in.

Her breathing became ragged as she panted, sucking in more air so she could continue to deepen the kiss. Reluctantly, he let her break away, only to catch her breath before he was on her again, his tongue in her hot mouth once more. Slowly, he brought them both down to their knees.

"Touch me, Kagome." He panted. He didn't care how fucking needy, how damn pathetic he sounded. He needed her, craved her.

Kagome swallowed hard. "Take off your fire rat." Her eyes followed his clawed hands as he removed the layers, baring his sun kissed flesh.

She ran her hands down his chest, stopping to appreciate every muscle. Inuyasha hissed as she ran her thumb over his nipple, circling it as it quickly became harder. Removing her hand, she bent her head to cover it with her lips, kissing and sucking gently, giving it a soft nip before moving to the other. Inuyashas hands moved to her head, holding her closer, as if she would disappear.

Her hands dipped lower, trailing down his abs until they reached his thighs. Kagome could feel him tremble. Even after all this time, he was still affected by her.

Gods, that turned her on.

Giving him a push, she silently demanded he lay flat on his back as she straddled him. She felt very in control, and very, very lucky to be on top of a dog demon with such a sinful body. She let her hands wander as her mouth followed, kissing and licking, sucking and biting until she could hear the grunts of frustration from Inuyasha.

As she moved she could feel his erection, the hard length straining against the fabric. Purposefully, _slowly_ , she moved back, letting it brush against her core, eliciting a strangled moan from him. Again she moved, pressing into him, the breath escaping her as he rocked his hips into her for relief.

"Kagome…" The hanyou said through gritted teeth.

"Tell me what you want, Inuyasha." She purred, pressing feather light kisses onto his chest.

"I want… Fuck-" He brought one hand to his hair as he tried to remember how to speak. "I want you to touch me… more."

"Touch you, where?" She bit her lip as she gave him a sly smile.

Taking her hand, he brought it down to his throbbing cock. "Here." He said, his amber eyes heated. She began to stroke him through the fabric, slowly moving her hand up and down, his hips rocking to match her thrusts.

Fed up with the barriers, he rid himself of his remaining clothing. He could smell the spike of Kagomes arousal as her eyes took a heated glance at his member.

He rolled Kagome onto her back, a predatory look to his fanged smile.

"You're way too over dressed, wench." He delicately dragged his claws up her thighs, sliding under her short skirt. Her skin felt so smooth against his calloused hands. Hooking his thumbs into the sides of her underwear he pulled them slowly, slowly down.

He wanted more, needed more. Her scent was so intoxicating.

He removed her shirt with much more skill than he had in the earlier days. He was eager, but careful as he removed her bra, mindful that his claws could easily rip her delicate fabric. She was always nagging him about ripping her clothing, even if she did enjoy it mid act.

The dog demon practically salivated as her creamy breasts were exposed to him, full and begging for his touch. Inuyasha licked his lips, hungry for a taste.

He ran his tongue over her nipple, loving the feel of it harden from his touch. Kagome cried out, arching her back into his mouth.

Inuyasha let one hand wander down, seeking the heat from her core. She parted her legs, giving him better access, the anticipation of his fingers, the feel of him inside of her winding the coil in her belly.

Carefully, he ran his thumb over her swollen pearl, his cock throbbing as he felt her buck against his hand. Gods, he wanted her. She was already so wet, her core weeping for him to fill her.

"Please, Inuyasha," she begged, her words broken pants. "Don't make me wait. I want you now." She pulled him towards her, a rough, needy kiss drawing a rumble from his chest.

Kagome reached down, grasping his hard member in her hands. It sent a shock of desire straight to his cock, and a bead of pre-cum moistened her finger. He groaned as she brought her hands up and down, pumping him quickly before she positioned him above her entrance.

The head of his cock moved inside of her, not enough to satisfy him, but enough to drive them both crazy.

"I love you, Kagome." He said, giving her a smoldering kiss. He moved back his hips and then thrust, forcing her to accept all of him.

He felt like fire, and relief. Pain and pleasure all at once. It felt bitter and it felt sweet. But more than anything, it didn't feel like enough, wouldn't feel like enough until they both had their release.

They moved faster and harder, his thrusts becoming more frantic with each rock of his hips. She moved to meet his pace, driven by her own need and desire to please him.

"I love you Inuya-" Words seemed harder to form, harder to speak, as he pounded into her. Kagome looked up at her hanyou, his silver bangs slick from sweat. Light purple streaks forming on his cheeks.

"Inu-"

She had seen this before, had experienced this exact moment-

No, not this exact one.

Inuyasha was in control of himself. He knew he was there, with her, _Kagome._

"K'gome…"

She looked up at him, a wordless question on his lips. She nodded, leaning her head back. "Do it, Inuyasha."

He could feel his release course through her as his tongue lapped at the metallic taste of her blood.


	32. Chapter 32

Sometimes it amazed Kagome how noisy the forest could be. Of course, she was aware that it was nothing in comparison to the loud, hustle and bustle of Tokyo- the chattering of people, the cars and trains, children and animals and busy shops doing business- the forest had its own set of pesky noise. The birds seemed to chirp incessantly the moment the sun began to rise. Animals ran and hunted, crunching leaves beneath their feet. It was loud in its own unique way, trying to rouse them from their peaceful slumber. She picked out each sound, enjoying the moment as she laid in Inuyasha's arms, the dog demon still sleeping contently behind her.

Kagome reached her hand up to her neck, feeling the puncture wounds once again. She had to keep checking, had to make sure that last night was not a dream or some too sweet fantasy that she had conjured up. Her soft fingers glided over the two fang marks, which were now slightly raised as they began to heal, trying to burn into her memory that she was not hallucinating. She and Inuyasha were finally mates.

Mates. The corners of her mouth curled up into a giddy smile and she said it again. _Mates._ Finally, she and the dog demon her heart had yearned after for so many years were united. The man she loved and lost, who had forgotten and somehow found his way back, was bound to her through more than shards and wells. They were now joined in demon culture and human, tied together by the red string.

She felt the hanyou shift slightly, his body stretching long behind her before pulling body closer and nuzzling into her neck.

"Don't wanna get up yet." He murmured. Kagome smiled. It was rare to see the demon so lazy. Usually he refrained from sleeping altogether, preferring to stay awake and alert. He was always quick to tell her that he was a demon, and that he didn't need rest like humans did. Even so, Kagome couldn't help but worry. When they were apart, she would often lie awake at night, worried if he was taking care of his body. To see him so relaxed, nestled into her and prolonging slumber… It was something she wanted to burn into her memory.

Later, they would go back to the village. She was sure that Kaede and the others would be worried about them, especially given the way they departed. By now, her friends would have surely reached the village, and the old miko would have filled them in on the details.

She wasn't sure how much time she had left, how many days she had to look forward to. But as long as Inuyasha was with her, she wasn't afraid. Frankly, him knowing the truth was a large weight off her shoulders. She was glad she could spend this time with him in complete honesty. She just hoped that the rest of their time could be as peaceful as the night had been.

Kagome turned to face him, the sudden movement causing the hanyou to open his eyes. Bringing her small hand up to his cheek, Kagome held Inuyashas face as he gave her a slow smile.

Yes, later they would head back and face reality. But for now, there was a fire in her belly and a handsome demon in her bed. She fully intended to take advantage of that fact.

~.~

Kyou walked under the canopy of the trees, his footsteps heavy and unsure. Was he going the right way? He shifted on the balls of his feet to take a look in the other direction. It was hard enough to figure out where he was going in the day time; this was a strange part of his country that he was unfamiliar with. He was far from home and now only the moonlight was guiding his way.

He felt like an utter fool. What kind of man was he, that he could not navigate? For all he knew the village was beyond his reach, his destination was the opposite way, and he would be lost to wander until he stumbled upon someone… or _something._

Kyou had seen more than enough demons on this trip. Big ones, eager and hungry to rip humans apart, shredding their flesh with their bare hands. Small ones, almost cute and abundantly fluffy- yet full mischievous pranks. He knew that while it was fun to treat the fox so tenderly, that could only be a momentary luxury. He would soon grow and develop the same blood lust as all of his demonic brethren.

Worst of all, he was tired of dog demons. Gods, if he never had to deal with another _dog_ again in his life it would be too soon; he had more than enough experience with Inuyasha to last him the rest of his lifetimes. The creature was rude and arrogant, and somehow had managed to put everyone under his spell. Truly the work of an evil creature.

Well, he wasn't one to be so easily swayed!

Sure, he put up with him, for the sake of peace in the group. Kagome had made it clear, blindingly, disgustingly clear that she favored and chose the demon… But in his heart, he couldn't let that rest. He couldn't help but feel that she too was under the enchantment of the dog demon, and that if only he could get her away, the spell would break and they could live out their days in his little village. He would fish and build her a strong, sturdy house. She would learn the ways of the village women- she would fall in with them easily- and a sweet, happy life would develop, just as he had always imagined.

Unfortunately, he wavered on whether this was the right thing to do. Was it really his decision to make for Kagome? She seemed… happy. Happier than he had ever seen her, if he was totally honest with himself. Part of him hated the thought of that sweet smile being taken from her, even if it was due to the demons influence and lies. Was it right to do this? Was it right to fulfill this plan? Or was it simply that he was a selfish, greedy man, too stubborn to let a crush go? And what of Kikyo, the priestess that had caused such turmoil in the odd group he found himself keeping company with? Was she someone he could trust?

As if on cue, a chill ran down his spine as the mikos creatures, icy blue and swimming through the air, cut through the trees to encircle him, alerting to their master that they had acquired the target.

"It seems you lost your way." She said, her voice cool, tinged with annoyance. "The meeting location was quiet far back."

"S-Sorry," He muttered, trying to keep some composure. "I don't know this place."

"Indeed." Was all the priestess said, taking stock of her prey. Kyou felt incredibly uncomfortable. It was as if the air around them turned stale when Kikyo was nearby. He had heard talk, rumors, to be sure, from the group that she was dead.

Ridiculous. Pure fantasy. People don't come back from the _dead_. It had to be more lies, more deception due to the demonic company. Even the monk was under its curse.

"Will you do as I say?" Kikyo asked, her face a perfect mask of neutrality.

Kyou swallowed hard, indecision had been weighing on him since the first moment he and the miko struck a deal. Now it was truly time to see if he was a man of his word.

Giving a slight nod of his head, he set his jaw with determination. He would rescue Kagome, even save her friends too.

And he would do it with this woman's help.

~.~

"Kagome!" The fox demon announced, jumping up in excitement. He ran to the door of the hut and pushed aside the mat, meeting the couple outside.

"We're back!" Kagome said with a big smile. "Everyone got here okay?" She asked. Shippo nodded eagerly

"Yeah, but we've all been worried about you." His quick smile turned into a frown. "Really, you sure do take off with Inuyas-" Shippo sniffed the air around them, getting closer to Kagome to confirm what his nose was telling him. His eyes were wide with the sudden realization.

"K-Kagome! Y-You-!"

Inuyasha crouched down low to meet Shippos gaze. "Listen, runt. We'll tell everyone 'bout Kagome and me being mates later. But for now, lets just let it be. She's tired and telling everyone now is juts going to cause an uproar. Kagome needs to rest- understand?"

The fox nodded in agreement. "Okay, okay." He smiled slyly, happy to be in on their secret.

Their friends soon poured out of the hut, happy to see the group reunited and safe. Before long, they moved back inside and the hut was soon filled with chatter. Miroku began to relay the news of the last day, along with the new rumor of Narkau and the shards, while Sango reported the newest demon sightings.

It wasn't that she was uninterested- truly, this was an important conversation and one that needed to be had- but for some reason Kagome just couldn't get her mind to concentrate. Feeling rather foolish, she decided to get some air to clear her head to focus.

The night air felt fresh and warm, lightly breezing over her as she inhaled deeply.

"Kagome," Kyou's voice called out, a tone of surprise in it. "You're back."

She gave him a warm smile. "Yup!"

He looked her over before asking, "What are you doing outside? Is everything alright?"

Kyou was always so kind. He was a friend who was worried about her, and truly had her best interest at heart. Well, what he thought was her best interest. It had been hard to get him to accept that Inuyasha was not a threat to her or her happiness, but rather the key to it. She knew it was a bitter pill for him to swallow, especially considering his proposal. She felt terrible turning him down, but there was no one for her other than Inuyasha. Whether he had come back or not, her answer would have remained the same.

She was glad to know him though. He was a kind man, with a gentle sense of humor. Their time together was not unpleasant and despite the fact that he was desperately out of his element on this journey, his honor refused to let him turn back. She had to admit that once they brought him back to his village she would miss him.

"No, everything is alright." She answered with a smile. "I just needed some air."

He seemed to chew over her words for a moment, then quickly grabbed her hands. "Kagome, I need you to come with me."

"Wh-what?" her response was as she was pulled into the direction of the woods. "Kyou, stop!" She demanded, yanking her wrist away. "Tell me whats going on!"

"Kagome…." He stopped to look back at her, his face twisted in a combination of emotions that she couldn't decipher. "Just, please! I need you to come this way-"

"No Kyou, Im going back. Inuyasha is going to get worried. If he found out that you tried to drag me out into the woods in the middle of the night, Gods I can only imagine the fit he would pull."

Clutching his fists by his side, Kyou lunged towards Kagome, pulling her tightly into his embrace. "Please, just hear me out!" Kagome twisted her shoulders in an attempt to get away from him; had she ever realized how strong he was before? Or had she simply underestimated him, because she did not see him as a man?

"Get off of me!" she yelled, and Kyou was quick to move a hand to cover her mouth, muffling her protests. "Come on, its just a bit further." Kyou said, holding her firmly and trying to lead her. The poor attempt at walking, combined with Kagomes struggling caused them both to fall over, a loud thud resulting.

"Damn! Are you okay?" He asked, rubbing his head and looking down. "Kagome?" He grabbed her shoulder and began to shake. "Kagome?!" When she did not answer Kyou began to panic.

"You must've hit your head on the root of the tree." He said out loud, more for his benefit than hers. "Gods, Kagome… I didn't mean for any of this to happen." Sighing aloud, he picked up the unconscious girl, slinging her over his back and turned around. He would bring her back to the hut, back to the old priestess who could heal her, and he would steal away in the night before the rage of the demon could fall upon him for hurting Kagome. Kikyo would just have to continue the plan without him.

"I began to think you would not follow through on our agreement." The cold voice said. "I see was not wrong to doubt you."

Kyou looked up at the miko intent on blocking his path.

"Kagomes hurt." He said, determination in his voice. "Im going to bring her back, and leave. Theres no room for us between those two. Its better if we just give up."

"Is that what you believe?" Kikyo asked, her eyes narrowed. "Before this girl came along, there was nothing _but_ me in his life. You dare tell me that there is no room for me?" Kikyo took a calming breath. It was rare for her to feel rattled.

"You have served your purpose. Now, die."

Before the searing pain hit Kyou, he could have sworn he saw the corners of the mikos mouth curl up into a smile.

~.~

A/N:: This chapter took foreeeeeever to write! Honestly, I had been pretty unhappy with the last few chapters. I felt like the quality of my writing was going down, and the story, which I had planned in my head, wasn't transferring to the paper quiet like I wanted it too. So, I decided to take a break and come back to it more refreshed and organized. Hopefully this chapter was written a bit better and worth the wait! There wont be many chapters left- the story is almost at an end! Thank you as always for reading!


	33. Chapter 33

A/N: This is the last chapter!

The world was floating; it was not the gentle feeling she experienced when she rode on Inuyashas back, the giddy lightness she would feel when they jumped from branch to branch. It differed from the rush of adrenaline that would hit her when they ran at full speed, on pursuit of a jewel or a foe.

This was a painful feeling. She was aware, vaguely, that her body was moving and not by her own will. That wasn't even the concerning part. It felt as if her limbs were being squeezed, all at once, by a great force, making each breath she struggled to take labored and agonizing.

She shrugged her shoulder trying to relieve the pressure. Whatever was holding her hostage pressed back harder in response. She was afraid to open her eyes. Her head was throbbing, a splitting pain that sent shivers down her spine.

What had happened? One minute she was being pulled along and the next- the next she…

Blinking her eyes open, she squinted against the rush of wind that came over her face. She was moving- and fast. Trying her best to hold down her frantic fear, she glanced to the side of her, an electric blue light radiating off the binds that held her.

She had seen these before; they lit up the night sky as the searched for sad souls to carry off for their master. They became a symbol of fear that struck her heart when she would see them overhead. They were the ushers of chaos, giving warning to Kagome that Kikyo would soon follow.

"Kikyo?" she called out, her voice sounding much smaller than she intended. "Kikyo?!"

"Silence." The cold voice said.

"What the heck is going on? Where am I? Where's Inuyasha?!"

The mention of the hanyous name seemed to catch her attention. She stopped walking, the soul collectors halting on the unspoken order. Kagome could feel her heart pounding in her chest; it seemed so loud she was sure that the priestess could hear her fear.

"You need not worry about Inuyasha. After tonight, you will not have to worry about anything, girl." Kagome noticed the slight curve of her lips.

A smile. She spoke such deadly words with a smile.

"Wh-what do you mean by that!?" Kagome struggled to move her arm, only to be restrained further. She wasn't sure what the miko had in store for her, but she knew that whatever it was would be the end of her if she had her way. Squaring her jaw and looking her in the eye, she steadied her voice to speak. "Let me go, Kikyo."

This earned a small chuckle. It was odd; Kagome had never heard her laugh before. She was always such a solemn person, sadness seemed to radiate off of her in waves. But to think that she was capable of laughter, and that it could even sound _sweet_ … it sent of mixture of fear and awe through her.

She never wanted to hate Kikyo, never wanted to make an enemy out of her… never wanted to be one. But when she dug her claws into Inuyasha, made him lose his memories, forced him to forget all the precious memories he made…

How could she forgive that?

"I wont let you do anything to hurt him." She said, trying her best to sound fierce.

"You care for him." Her tone was neutral, somewhere between a statement and a question.

"I love him." Kagome replied, trying to keep her breathing steady. "And I wont hand him over to you."

"I find it amusing you feel you have the right to say that to me." She set her cold brown eyes on Kagome. " _you_ wont hand him over to _me_? Hand him over when he was mine to begin with?" Her brows knit together in frustration. "You think quiet highly of yourself to take other peoples things."

"Inuyasha is not a _thing_. Hes a person. And hes free to choose who he wants to be with. Or at least, he should be. Ya know, for years he followed you around because of his guilt- guilt that wasn't even his to shoulder! And instead of letting him find an ounce of happiness you chose to wipe his memory of any happiness and left him empty."

"Fool. I did not leave him empty. The last he remembered, he and I had just met at the docks. The last he remembered, he was happy…"

"But he wasn't, was he? Maybe he was happy with you before, but that's not the case now. You've changed, Kikyo. You-"

The priestess drew back her hand, striking Kagome hard. The force of the hit knocked her lips against her teeth, causing blood to trick down her chin. Kagome felt ashamed of the voice she let out when the blow came, harder and angrier than she expected.

Kikyo felt a strange satisfaction from hitting the young imposter. As if all her rage, all her anger could be cured if by letting it flow from her finger tips into the flesh of the woman who stole everything away from her. She decided to test it again.

Over and over and hit her, each time with more force than the last. Each time, she felt a deeper sense of satisfaction, a more delicious sense of contentment. She kept at it until she herself was out of breath.

The girl looked up at her, bloody and bruised, her lips swollen and drool dripping down her chin. She was panting, struggling to catch her breath and the soul collectors pushed harder against her body.

There was no response from her. No cries, no anguish. Kikyo wished she would scream like she did the first time. She wished she would cry out, beg her to stop. Instead, she looked her dead in the eyes, full of determination.

"Inuyasha will come for me."

It was as if something inside of her snapped. She felt her hands moving of their own accord, squeezing the pale skin of her slender throat. She had planned to hand the girl over to Naraku, but this seemed more satisfying. She would be the one to drain the life out of this girl from another world. "Inuyasha will not come for you." She murmured, gripping her tighter. She looked down at her pale skin, red streaks forming underneath her grasp. She couldn't help but think how pretty it was, the contrast between the red, the white and the-

The black.

The sacred shards she wore against her neck, enclosed in a vial and hung around her neck were battling between black and pink, good and bad. The shock of it made her draw back, the jewel swirling its color until it returned to the pink blush she knew so well. Carefully she picked up the vial and the shards began to turn. The very thing she had lived her life to protect, died to keep pure, she with her own hands had tainted.

The priestess shook, her hands trembled as they released the vial. She could not draw her attention away from her upturned palms, a mixture of fear and revelation running through her. She wasn't sure, but Kagome thought she heard Kikyo mumble, "what have I done?"

Kagome wasn't sure if it was the shock of it, finding out how far she had fallen, or if she was eager to meet an end, but when she turned around, her movements slow, she met Inuyasha with an even gaze, fully accepting the pain as his claws ripped through her. This time, he really did cut her down. This time, it had been a betrayal.

Kikyo did not bleed as Kagome had done. Her body simply fell limp to the ground. For a split second, Inuyasha was unsure of who to run to. His entire being cried to be next to Kagome, but the woman on the ground, who he had just run his razor sharp blades to, was someone he had once held dear. She had a look in her eyes, a mix between pleading and a profound 'knowing'. He would be lying if he said it didn't hurt.

But when he caught sight of her, of his mate, there was no longer any hesitation. He sliced Kagome free, the soul collectors dissipating in a cloud of smoke around them. He held her body close, his rough hands assessing the open wounds she had received.

Kikyou drew in a rough breath and turned her head. Her vision, while blurred, focused in on Inuyasha. He had such a strange expression on his face. His eyes looked glazed, as if he was on the brink of tears. His whole body seemed to shake as he held her close, his largw hands smoothing down her hair. He cradled her, sang soothing words to try and ease her pain.

' _So this is what he looks like when he is in love.'_

For the first time, Kikyou felt sorry she had depraved him of that tender expression for so long.

~.~

They burned her in the village, just as had been done once before. For the second time, Kaede bid her sister farewell in a bed of flames. For a second time, she hoped that her soul would be more at ease than when it was in the world.

It had been a somber few days, to say the least. The group grieved the loss of both Kikyou and Kyou, two people that had infiltrated their group and left a lasting impact on their lives. Kikyo, who had come back into the world so abruptly, left with a sad smile on her face.

And Kyou, who had joined the group and stayed, despite the dangers and his lack of skill, stayed by Kagomes side until the very end. This was of little comfort when the group brought his remains to his village. Kagome had insisted on going, but a firm look from Inuyasha wordlessly told her ' _over my dead body are you leaving in this condition'._ Inuyasha was right. He didn't sacrifice himself so she could take a trip and make her injuries worse. She would have to make due with offerings and prayers, and a promise to visit when she was healed.

They were two souls who started with good intentions, but their desires led them astray. Kagome thought in hindsight that if they had met, if they had sought each other out, that maybe they would have been a good match for one another.

It was a mystery why the miko slayed Kyou; no one quiet knew the reason why. But Inuyasha was grateful none the less, as it was the scent of his blood that tipped him off that something was wrong.

He had gone racing through the woods, following Kikyos trail and fear crept into the crevice's of his mind.

He had hated Kyou, hated that he was by her side in his absence, hated that he looked at her with lustful eyes, hated himself for being such a jealous child.

But in the end, he was thankful. He had a feeling that he lost his life trying to protect something precious to him.

And Kikyo…

InuYasha didn't know how to feel about that. He mourned her passing, mourned that she was no longer the woman, nor the kind person she had once been. He worried about where her soul would go, wondered if she would reincarnate once more or go to hell. He wasn't sure what price she would pay for the sins she committed while thinking she was pure. He wasn't sure what his own price would be when it came time to face it.

He didn't worry about that.

He worried about his mate, who laid on the side of him, her injuries still healing. It would take some time for her to get back to normal.

It would take some time for both of them to even out.

When he had found her, when he cradled her broken body in his trembling hands, something inside him snapped. He knew that what he had was precious, knew that as a human she was fragile, but the extent of it did not really hit him until her bloodied body was in his arms. Yet he was also aware of how strong his woman is. In her state, she still tried to look after him, tried to check on his well-being.

He could feel that Naraku was nearby, could smell the revolting stench of his baboon suit covering the monstrosity that he was. He was coming, but not near enough that he could attack. For a moment, as if on reflex, his mind searched for him, searched for a way to get

He had come so close to losing her. And it was because of him, because he had been unable to cut ties with a ghost of a past flame, unable to put a lost soul to rest. For so long the shards, the fight, the future of the world seemed to fall on his shoulders. The fight came first, the rewards, problems and anything in between would follow after.

But as he held Kagome, her labored breathing shaking her small frame, the woman he once loved in tatters from his own blood soaked claws, there was not a second of hesitation.

He had to get her out of there, had to get her back to be bandaged and heal. Before, he would have rushed headstrong into the clear trap.

Things change.

 _He_ changed.

Naraku could wait. The world could wait.

Kagome moaned in her sleep. Brushing away a lock of hair from her face, he lingered on her bruised skin, as if he could protect her in her dreams as well. Damn, he wish he could. Whether or not she admitted it, he knew she felt a tremendous sense of guilt and sadness over Kikyos death. He still didn't know how to deal with it, so he decided it was better to be packed away and thought about later. He did know that he held no ill thoughts towards Kagome. If anything, it was his indecisiveness that brought all of them to their sorry end.

It had been days since they stumbled into Kaedes hut, Kagome half clinging to his back, secured by his firerat tied around them for safety and Kikyo, a lifeless mass in his arms. At first, he had picked Kagome up and rose to leave, when he heard her voice, so small and broken call out "Kikyo…"

He explained that Naraku was near, that they had to get her looked at. He could return for the Mikos body after she was secure. After all, the dead are not in a rush.

But of course Kagome protested, claiming that because Naraku was near was the reason they couldn't leave her behind. Who knows what the demon would try and do.

So he carried them both, carried them back worse off than when they left, but in the end returned them home. It didn't matter how many times he scrubbed his skin raw, the scent of their blood seemed twisted into his scent.

The only thing he could now was watch over her, ease her pain when possible and reassure her he was okay, even if he wasn't. She turned, a small gasp of pain escaping her as she blinked sleepy eyes towards Inuyasha. Reaching up, she cupped the side of his face and stroked slowly.

"How're you?" She asked, concern burning in her eyes.

"Idiot. I'm not the one you should be worried about." His tone lacked any sting as he leaned into her touch. She gave him a smile in return.

"Oh? Then who should I be worried about?"

"You, dummy. Have you taken a look at yourself lately?"

Kagome frowned a little, but quickly recovered, snuggling into his chest. "Yeah, but you love me anyway." He swore he felt his heart skip a beat, the way she said it so easily, so _cute_. "Besides, it looks worse than it is. I really don't feel that bad."

He had to admit, for the state he found her in, she was recovering extremely well. He half wondered if the mating had something to do with that. After Kagome had been stitched and bandaged, Miroku took him to the side to share a piece of good news.

Kagomes life span had changed.

It was no longer depleted, no longer a mere handful of days away from extinguishing. It actually seemed fuller than before.

That was something that helped him get through this mess. Through all of it, she had time. _They_ had time. He gave her a kiss on the crown of her head, stroking her hair. "Feh, says who?" His voice had a hint of lightness to it. He could feel her smile against his chest before she looked up at him.

Those blue eyes. They always got him.

Always looked at him straight on, as a man and nothing more.

"Me." She answered.

Yeah. He loved her. Loved her for her foolishness, for her smart mouth. For her bravery, her kind heart. He loved the way she stomps off when mad, the way she holds her ground when shes right.

Hell, he just loved _her._

"Yeah, you're right." He tilted her chin up gently, his lips brushing against her soft ones. He melted as she let out a throaty moan, different from the one of pain, one that hinted of darker desires. It took some severe self control to remind himself that she was a patient making those noises.

Inuyasha sighed as he rested his forehead against hers.

"We'll figure this all out, Inuyasha." She said. "I promise."

He breathed in the scent of her once more. Wild flowers. The scent that brought him home. Brought him to her.

They had been through so much. The road they walked had not been easy from the moment they met, yet they still marched side by side, hand in hand. She was his _mate,_ long before she had become it. Through the mass of fractured memories he navigated through his heart longed for the unknown. In many ways, his whole being was fractured, long before his memories were. He was a man who was broken from heartache, broken from the scorn of humans and demons alike. He did not have a purpose, did not have an end goal. Kikyo had given him one, and at the time he thought it was what he wanted. He would've changed his very identity if it meant he had some place to belong.

She changed that.

His place was with _her._ It didn't matter if it was a village, her noisy home or the moon. Where ever they traveled, whatever canopy of trees they slept under were always home. _She_ was home.

He believed her when she said they would figure things out. They would figure out how to defeat Naraku together, figure out how to piece together the shards. They would figure out how to save Kohaku, figure out how to bring some peace to their friends lives. After that, they would have another set of things to figure out.

He really looked forward to that. He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face.

"Yeah, I know."

~.~

A/N:: Hey everyone! Sorry for the long wait! Between finals and the craziness of life, I just did not have a ton of time to finish this. I also had a ton of ideas for different stories, and somewhere along the way this story became less exciting to read. I really did enjoy writing the last chapter, and I hope it satisfied everyone. I don't usually end off with Kikyou being the bad guy- I like some redemption for her character- but in this story she was way too much of a villain to have a major turn around. And as for Kyou, I got many messages about how he was annoying- he was supposed to be! Is there ever anyone who inserts themselves into someone's relationship/business and acts like they're a part of it that _isn't_ annoying? But in hindsight, I can see why it would be frustrating to read.

I hope everyone enjoyed the story, and thank you for sticking with it! I'm working on a new chapter for _The Scent of Hate_ as well as playing around with some new ideas. Thank you, once again!


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